Vulvodynia Support
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» Hope to all my suffering ladies
Your man's reaction when you can't do it EmptyFri Oct 23, 2020 12:04 am by ringostarr26

» Please tell me this can get better
Your man's reaction when you can't do it EmptySat Jul 18, 2020 7:38 pm by sammykramer

» By no means cured, but doing much better!
Your man's reaction when you can't do it EmptyMon Mar 16, 2020 1:26 pm by tinkerbelle2

» How I cured my Vulvodynia!
Your man's reaction when you can't do it EmptySat Dec 07, 2019 11:54 am by Millie

» 7 months since the diagnosis
Your man's reaction when you can't do it EmptyWed Aug 14, 2019 2:38 am by agtoronto

» Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams
Your man's reaction when you can't do it EmptySat Jun 15, 2019 5:22 pm by mary jane

» IMPORTANT FOR UK SUFFERERS
Your man's reaction when you can't do it EmptySat Jun 15, 2019 5:21 pm by mary jane

» Help New Diagnosis
Your man's reaction when you can't do it EmptySat Jun 15, 2019 5:07 pm by mary jane

» 6 days post Vestibulectomy - Is this normal?? please tell me about your postop healing process!
Your man's reaction when you can't do it EmptyTue Jun 11, 2019 12:56 am by VVSSufferer

Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams

Thu May 10, 2018 9:43 am by Rosie21

Hi I have been suffering for some years with this abominable pain. I have tried most of the systemic drugs , I asked specialists and Doctors if I could at least try a topical treatment but because this requires a special prescription have been refused Has anybody had a chance of trying these? Thank you I will try to put a link on to some of the research into Gabapentin Gel. Thanks.

Comments: 2

Putnams 'bony parts' cushion or Putnams 'Dr Huff' cushion - which is best?

Sat Aug 01, 2015 4:17 pm by Fielder

Hi everyone,

I'm a newbie.  I live in the UK.  

I'm trying to work out the best cushion to get for my vulvodynia.  I suspect that I could have pudendal nerve involvement (the aching and burning pain is from vagina to clitoris) and I have rectocele and some tailbone pain too.

I have seen some good reports on older threads regarding the Putnams pressure relief cushions....with some ladies …

Comments: 11

An absolute success story- please read!

Fri Mar 08, 2019 10:57 pm by Persevere1990

Dear All,

I posted on here back in March 2017 having just got a diagnosis of vulvodynia after a few months of relentless and acute pain. I was desperate, I was hurting, I was scared I would never know life without pain there again.

I tried creams, acupuncture, numbing gels, frozen pads, baths with various internet recommended concoctions- convinced myself I had lichen sclerosus, herpes, thrush- …

Comments: 0

I'm sorry im rambling

Thu Feb 21, 2019 5:49 am by Jet227

hey, im 19, ive been struggling with this almost a year. The first week I became itchy I went in to check about a yeast infection another week later. I have been to 10 different doctors a total of about 15 appointments for this problem for the past 11 months. I have been tested for everything including having a biopsy. I was first told basically to just go home and use hydrocortazone, then I went …

Comments: 1

New member need advice please

Thu Feb 28, 2019 11:33 pm by PANDORA123

Hello, I have just been diagnosed with unprovoked vulvodynia. Im really scared and worried. It burns a lot and it hurts to sit down. I have been prescribed amitriptyle 10mg. Can anyone give me some hope that I can get better from this condition. Feeling low and depressed.

Thanks

Comments: 5

MonaLisa Touch

Fri Feb 08, 2019 7:35 pm by rl2091

Hi All,

I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with the MonaLisa Touch treatment for Vulvodynia? My pain started when I went on HRT(pill) for anxiety mainly and my pain abruntly stopped when I stopped HRT. However, when I started on the HRT patch (at my dr's suggestion), the pain returned and has never left. That was 7 years ago. I found MonaLisa Touch on the internet purely by accident …

Comments: 3

Diagnosed Recently

Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:55 pm by flissyg

Hi All,

I’m so glad I’ve found a place where there are others who understand how I feel!

So this is my story:-

I’m 36,  and 4 months ago, whilst innocently sitting in bed reading I experienced a very sharp stabbing pain in my clitoris. It last only a few minutes and then subsided as quickly as it came on. It put it down to “one of those things”.  The following morning I woke up …

Comments: 4

New and need advice and help

Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:26 pm by Cin124

Hi everyone,

About three months ago, I started having vaginal and vulval itching. Then, about two months ago, my vulva started to feel painful and look swollen, so I went to the doctor. I was tested for herpes, chlamydia, and gonorrhea which all came back negative. I also had to do a vaginal swab test and the only thing that came back positive was yeast infection. I was prescribed hydrozole …

Comments: 6

New here would very much appreciate advice at the end of my rope

Wed Jan 09, 2019 9:09 pm by Jma990o

This might be a little long but it's been such a long time I've even been able to talk about my problems openly thank you in advance for any helpful advice.
So ok I'm 24 I've been having this problem for over two years seen quite a few doctors and obgyns alike and nobody will take me seriously I have had a few utis and yeast infections and even bv once and this all started after one of the utis …

Comments: 3


Your man's reaction when you can't do it

+7
BpCookie
amtali
Kam10
Songstress
sdcc
naomi
ninjastar
11 posters

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Your man's reaction when you can't do it Empty Your man's reaction when you can't do it

Post  ninjastar Fri May 25, 2012 1:29 am

Hello ladies,
How does your bf/husband react when you are unable to continue having sex and need to stop? Does he just say it's okay and cuddle or does he still want to continue?
-ninjastar

ninjastar

Posts : 4
Join date : 2012-05-17
Location : California

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Post  naomi Fri May 25, 2012 10:12 pm

Never had sex with my partner as I got with him after V took hold. He's not bothered as long as there r hugs n kisses
naomi
naomi
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Post  sdcc Sat May 26, 2012 7:18 pm

you're one lucky girl Naomi Smile Good for you!

luckily there are other ways of having sex than just vaginal penetration

sdcc

Posts : 9
Join date : 2012-04-24

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Post  Songstress Sat May 26, 2012 7:31 pm

My ex was bothered by the lack of sexlife, so I stopped telling him when it hurt. My current boyfriend stops the second I tell him it hurts, and whats even more important to me, he's willing to try again when I say I'm ready, so neither of us get cheated. Smile I did not, honestly, think such a guy existed, until I met this one.

Songstress

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Join date : 2012-03-21

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Post  ninjastar Sun May 27, 2012 8:01 am

You ladies are lucky! Mine is super non-understanding and that really sucks. He's perfect outside of the bedroom. But when it comes to sex, he really wants it. He won't finish through other things : / So I really don't know what to do about that. Other guys have been a lot more understanding in the past. However, other guys didn't treat me as well outside of the bedroom.

ninjastar

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Join date : 2012-05-17
Location : California

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Post  Kam10 Mon May 28, 2012 3:24 am

My husband's really understanding and stops if it hurts, or just fools around instead of having sex. However, one thing that is a struggle is when I think I'm having a good day and he's not in the mood he's not willing to do anything. I feel like that's not fair to me. I wish he'd put in more of an effort to get in the mood when I'm having a good day so I can enjoy sex more.

But overall, he's understanding and doesn't feel the need to base our relationship off sex. He also doesn't want to do anything that hurts me.
Kam10
Kam10

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Join date : 2012-01-16

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Post  amtali Tue May 29, 2012 7:57 pm

My b/f of 5 years is phenomenal. He completely understands, and will instantly stop and let us fool around other ways. He never pressures me, but still desires me. I couldn't ask for a better supporter.

amtali

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Post  BpCookie Sat Jun 09, 2012 7:47 pm

My husband is very understanding. I dont have sex unless I think I can do it and follow through till the end. Usually towards the last minute or so it does tend to burn but I will continue because I know its almost over. LOL. I know, that sounds bad. Its like, if it starts burning I look back (If Im in that position) and say "HEY, WHATS GOING ON BACK THERE? Lay the tracks already buddy, Miss Prissy is getting angry" Well, it doesnt really go like that but it would be funny.

If I cant have sex my husband doesnt mind at all. He knows that I will do other things for him, like hand him the K-Y jelly, get dressed in a cheerleader outfit and do a cheer while he does his thing. Ok, thats not quite true either. Just trying to lighten the subject.

I truly hope that all you women have an understanding partner like I do. If you dont, then maybe your partner needs an education about the burning bush. Nobody should have to feel pressured. hugs to all
BpCookie
BpCookie

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Join date : 2012-01-25
Location : Arizona

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Your man's reaction when you can't do it Empty Kam10

Post  BpCookie Sat Jun 09, 2012 7:53 pm

Kam10, I know exactly what your talking about. My good days were far and in between. When I was having a good day I would let my husband know that I *could* have sex. I didnt want to come out and demand it, so I just kinda hinted to him. If he didnt make a move all day I would start to get pissed and with each hour I got more and more angry. Thats when the butt chewing would start. I would tell him "There isnt a large window of time here. I may not be able to do it tomorrow. So if you end up getting in the mood and you want me to do *something* for you, forget it!!!!!!". Once I got started on butt chewing it was hard to stop. So hun, I know where your coming from and Im so sorry your going through that. hugs
BpCookie
BpCookie

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Location : Arizona

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Your man's reaction when you can't do it Empty NinjaStar

Post  BpCookie Sat Jun 09, 2012 7:58 pm

Hello Ninja, A good man will treat you good inside the bedroom or outside. You need to try to fix the problem now before it really gets out of hand. The longer he gets away with the *sex* behavior, the harder its going to be to fix it. My therapist used to tell me "Nip it in the bud NOW". Us women already suffer enough on a daily basis, we shouldnt be put through more pain. I wish you a future of pain free days. lots of hugs to you. Smile
BpCookie
BpCookie

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Post  punkyb13 Thu Sep 27, 2012 3:41 am

Ninjastar - I have the same problem. The only additional issue is that, perhaps because of my pain, I hate sex. All kinds of sex. It make me nauseous to even talk about it. My fiance is somewhat sympathetic about my pain, but it kinda depends on his mood. He will always ask in the middle of sex "does it hurt?" which is just annoying because he knows it ALWAYS hurt. I put up with the pain as a favor to him as long as I can, but if I start to hyperventilate or think I am gonna be sick I make him stop. He always stops when I tell him to but he just ignores me the rest of the night then. I can't do oral sex because I have TMJ too, and like I said, anything sex-related is sickening to me, so add a gag reflex to that and it's no good. Honestly, I guess what I am looking for is a way to eliminate his sex drive because I think that's the only thing that would fix our relationship. I'd love advice or input from anyone else reading this though! confused

punkyb13

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Post  LillyK Wed Oct 03, 2012 4:51 am

I also have a really amazing husband who has been 100% supportive. If something is hurting me he will instantly stop. He has been incredibly patient during the times I couldn't. I am truly blessed. I hope all of you know that you deserve the same kind of relationship! Don't settle for less. They are out there!

LillyK

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Post  punkyb13 Fri Oct 05, 2012 4:03 am

LiiyK - When you say "if" something hurts you, that makes it sounds like there are times when it doesn't hurt you? Is that the case? If so, then I can understand why having him stop when you hurt makes sense. But in my case, that would mean he would never get sex at all. I wish he was ok with that, but he still likes sex for some reason so I tolerate it about once a month as a favor, ya know?

punkyb13

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Post  LillyK Sun Oct 07, 2012 6:12 am

Yes, that's right, it doesn't always hurt me. I went through a time of about a year and a half though where it did hurt every time, period. That was when I still didn't know what it was or what to do. It was horrible. I felt like a terrible wife. So I do know what you mean about trying to do it every so often just so that he is at least getting it once in a while. But I realized after a while that it wasn't really worth it and I talked to him about it and he said if it was ever hurting he did not want to hurt me and we could just do other things. He was/is super positive that it would go away eventually and I would be able to do it again.

LillyK

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Post  sarah1983 Mon Oct 08, 2012 12:23 pm

excuse my ignorance but how do you know it is a good day and it is OK to have sex? i feel so dumb right know but i was just diagnose a month ago. also dose having sex make the condition worse

sarah1983

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Post  Mish Tue Oct 09, 2012 11:22 am

punkyb13 wrote:LiiyK - When you say "if" something hurts you, that makes it sounds like there are times when it doesn't hurt you? Is that the case? If so, then I can understand why having him stop when you hurt makes sense. But in my case, that would mean he would never get sex at all. I wish he was ok with that, but he still likes sex for some reason so I tolerate it about once a month as a favor, ya know?

I totally hear you - I'm ALWAYS in pain. I've stopped telling my boyfriends - I told my ex an he pushe harder as a joke. I feel raped and I just expect that. Somedays I don't feel like my body is mine. I just feel I'm trying to preserve what little I have left to be honest. I have found men really cruel and completely non- understanding so now I just grity teeth and if they notice my years I feel lucky. I am single MOST of the time but sometimes I date because it gets lonely but pain is the price to pay. I have no answers but for those without a loving partner I hear you! I sen my love and support because it's so bad for me I just wish I was a man or just able to be completely numb from the waste down. I used to drink before sex and take panadine but the next day I was ripped apart - cant walk, sit, wear jeans at all - y'know. So let's just hope there's a cure one day Sad

Mish

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