Vulvodynia an Childbirth arnt a good mix

Hi my name is amber an I have been struggling with Vv pain. I had symptoms before but they became worse after i had my daughter. When i had her i tore in two places one was very serious on perineum the other doesn't cause any problems. Ever since i had her i can't sit or stand in certain positions i swell up down there and it causes pain. And sex is non existent when me an my husband try to have sex my bad tear opens back up :'( very painful... Thank goodness my husband is understanding... I can't even use tampons because it feels like im giving birth all over again. I have been reading over this forum for months now an everyone seems so understanding an non judging, so I decided to join. So I am 18 an a wife an mother. I have an amazing life other than this vv issue. So I feel like I have no one to talk to because anyone else who is my age and a mother seem to have no idea what im talking about an don't understand. I have tried talking to family but none of them will talk to me because im younger, and me having V issues and sexual problems is like taboo to them. But this is a big problem for me an im very emotional about it an I have severe anxiety so this has been going on for 15months now an since anything causes pain im terrified to go to the dr because I know that if they do an exam or any kind of touching is unbearable. An I have my first appt for this issue on Oct 15 so I was wondering how vv diagnosis test are done an did any other women have there symptoms increased after childbirth.

Please read my posts, i know exactly what you mean. And YES< Ive NEVER been able to use tampons, I dont know how women do it!!

I read a couple of your post, an some of it sound like what im going through but some of the symptoms I don't have but I will bring it up at my appt that way I can get treated an tested for everything. Im glad im not the only one going through stuff like this.

Hi....I know you said you had vulvodynia before, and obviously that it has been triggered again by childbirth. A lot of women do tear when they give birth, and because of the tearing maybe you are trying to have sex too soon after giving birth...I'm not sure how long your midwife/doctors etc have told you to give it to heal, they usually say resume when it is comfortable to do so....if the tears are splitting open again every time you try to have sex....they are not fully healed....15 months does sound a long time for them not to have healed, but please go to your doctor...as this has more to do with the tearing than vulvodynia, explain where the pain is and exactly what it happening, and they will know what they need to do (without causing you more pain)....it may be that you need restitching and to leave it a few weeks or months longer, or you may need another type of treatment, but definately see your doctor, they are there to help!

We didn't try to have sex again until 6months after she was born. An I tore during sex before I had her its just now there worse because scar tissue doesn't stretch, an my tear was a 3rd degree and only on the inside not on the outside. my pain an swelling now is on the outside so im going to dr Monday but im not looking forward to having surgery. And if I can get things past the outer part then the pain is bearable or at least il make it that way. An at this rate I don't see how people have anymore kids. Or do anything like that an it makes me mad to see people in awful relationships who keep having more kids an dragging them along but me over here is having a whole bunch of stress over this, an my relationship is great with my husband but this is a test as Im trying to see it. an something is just against me. Sorry had to vent an im 18 an have never drank or done drugs an neither has my husband... We are against anything like that even if your 21 no one should drink or take sips so we went to go c a friend of mine at the hospital who had just had her baby an i asked her how she was doing ....an do you know what she said(i am great i can finally go smoke weed an party with my friends) i feel sorry for her daughter an she had no tears or anything an her relationship is awful. Ugh it just mindboggles me. Sorry i have been holding alot in.

I know, it's just so unfair that everyone else can take their sex lives and having children for granted, because they're not suffering from a medical condition...you have a brilliant outlook and it sounds like you have a fantastic relationship with your husband! Hope this can all be sorted out for you, and you can get back to normality!

I know none of us deserve this but we have it. An my poor hubby is at his peak an can do anything about it. He gets frustrated but he will hide it from me because he knows I will feel bad about it. Its even brought him to tears because I was hurting a lil bit but told him to go a lil slower an he did but I tore open an bled like it was my period he felt awful because he did it. An he rarely cry's ever I may have seen it twice counting that time the other was when he found out our daughter would need to be put in nicu. I want this fixed but it's my worst fear. Ugh this stuff is awful an the past 2weeks I haven't been able to work because it limits me from what I can do.

It's a really bad thing to suffer from, but you need to avoid penetrative sex until it's all healed properly, otherwise you're going to keep opening the wound over and over again....ask your GP how long it's likely to take....and work around it until then....

We have only tried a couple of times but it is awful to have an im trying not to panic about tomorrow but it's hard. They should make a real reality show off of us, that way there is some awareness...

Good luck with tommorow. I hope it all goes well and is the answer. Not sure where you live, but I'm in the UK and in this country we have a programme on regularly called Embarrassing Bodies, which is on every week, and to be honest watching that programme has helped me to feel less alone as vulvodynia is one of the most common problems on that show. They reckon about 15% of women suffer from it at some point, that the same amount as people who suffer from hayfever, that's how common it is. It's just not talked about. If you're in the UK you've probably seen it, but if not it'll be on YouTube or type into google Channel 4 Embarrassing Bodies....even though it doesn't cover the nicest subjects in the world, it's a useful programme as it shows just how many people have medical problems that affect their sex lives, that cause them a lot of misery, but difficult to talk about. They always have a lot of sexual problems on there and medical problems that can affect you sexually. It does raise awareness that people have these conditions and takes the shame out of it. (I work in the same hospital as one of the doctors from that show lol and see him almost every day). To be honest, in this country we do quite well for documentaries on things like sexual problems and medical conditions, loads of healthcare documentaries on channel 4 all the time.....It makes you think, how many people are going through something similar....because in general life nobody really talks about it....when my problem started 7 years ago, I felt like it was tabboo and I felt so alone with it.

Im in USA an I cried the whole doctors appointment... Poor guy didn't know what hit him. An that show sounds really awesome, I consider myself to be an open book I could talk about weird things all day. I will have to search it on YouTube. Because it sounds like all the shows I watch haha. But my dr gave me 2 types of pills an lidocaine gel 5% so maybe this will help an no sex for a month... That should be easy haha. He said next would be a perineum biopsy... Sounds scary an he said he would put me to sleep when he did it because of my anxiety. Sooo hopefully all goes well an im glad to know we dont feel alone anymore.

That's really good.

Ugh my medicine is making my emotions crazy an the lidocaine smells like mint.... Im allergic to scented things an it really burns an Im turning red so ima have to call dr again ugh this is frustrating...

Not good....hope you can get mint free lidocaine and that you recover from your op soon.

Its been a week an nothing is better. An they are making me do exercises where my husband has to put fingers in an stretch it open for 30 mins per night.... An it HURTS!!!!! an my husband hates doing it. He feels bad that he has to do it to me. an my dr is like it shouldn't hurt you will get used to it... Ugh

painful.....hopefully it will all be worth it in the end.

Im so hoping.. Have you had anything like a biopsy done or anything like that. An have you been on medication if so what kinds??

I haven't had anything like that so far....I think my pain might be slightly different to yours though as I haven't had tearing or given birth or anything yet....I think mine is more related to nervous system damage due to vitamin deficiencies, also I think I may have a candida overgrowth, so I'm just still at the trial and error phase of trying different things to make it better....it's the emotional impact of it that's really got me down, as it affects one of the most emotional areas of your life....your sex life.

It really does... Im depressed an sad all the time, I can't get my real self back an I have alot of other things going on in my life too so it's difficult to handle. I am a very open book I will talk about anything to anyone. An for the past 2years I have had no one to vent to an its very hard for me so bottle everything in. I feel like im going to just explode. An im so glad I have you to talk to!!! An I really hope you don't ever get any tears or anything because they are awful. An I know people who have had worse tears than me an the are perfectly fine an have great sex lifes with there partners... Makes me pretty jealous an like why me..

I know....it seems the rest of the world are able to take sex for granted, and we're crippled by this...if you had something that prevented you from walking...you could talk about it...if you have something that prevents you from having sex, it's taboo.

Couldn't of said it better myself... That is sooo true. An to me it shouldn't be that way. Im very open an I don't like to hide it.

Went to get vaginal biopsy an dr found two cyst he took them out... I feel Great so far an its only been 4 days since surgery. Im waiting on post appointment an then maybe il feel better an be able to be like a regular person so everyone should get examed an checked because I would definitely recommend this surgery so far. But I have no idea whether I can have sex or not only time will tell

That's really good....hope it all goes well.

I'm going to do all I can with diet, vitamin supplements, oil, lidocaine gel, dilators, and if after a year or so it hasn't got better I might consider it, but I am scared it will make things worse, so not an option at the moment....I'll just work my sex life around it unless it gets really bad. In fact I'm not really considering surgery as my problem may be completely different to yours, and with me it might be an allergy or something like that, in which case not something surgery will help with....what I'm doing so far is helping a lot.