Log in

I forgot my password

Latest topics
Newly diagnosed

Tue Oct 10, 2017 8:37 pm by Brevispink

Hello everyone. I have recently been diagnosed with unprovoked vulvodynia and would really appreciate some advice and support. I have had a chronic urine infection for 16 months and was on antibiotics for 9 of those months. I have been very uncomfortable for the entire time, but now I have absolutely unbearable stinging and burning all day with itching too. The infection has just about gone, …

Comments: 7

Recent "Poke" Pain - So Confused/Losing My Mind

Thu Oct 12, 2017 9:26 am by kelseybeth23

Long Story, but I am losing my mind and getting really depressed, so if I tell the full story maybe someone can help me.

Back in August I started to get an itch down there. Normally, in the past, when this would happen, I would change the way I wore my clothes, take more baths instead of showers, and use Monistat. This time, after about two weeks of no relief, I started to get concerned. I was …

Comments: 5

Does anyone else experience this?

Sat Oct 14, 2017 5:21 pm by Angelmegs

Hi— im new here. Im incredibly desperate so if anyone has any suggestions i would greatly appreciate it. Im a 20 year old female with vulvodynia and vaginismus. I was on the birth control pill (junel fe lo estrin) from age 13-18 because of severe menstrual pain. I used the xulane patch for a few months when i was 18 but eventually stopped BC altogether because it interferes with my med for …

Comments: 0

Post Full Vestibulectomy - 5 Years Later - Please Read

Tue May 02, 2017 6:18 pm by jen007

Hi All,

It's been awhile since I've written a new topic on the forum. Wondering if any of the same ladies are still here. I've come back to update you all on my post vestibulectomy results. I can't remember if I've done an update on my current state, so forgive me if this is repeated information... I can't remember how to view my old posts! Anyway, let me get on with my update.

For 4 years post …

Comments: 4

Do you ever worry that you're making it up?

Fri May 27, 2016 6:50 am by Lucci

Hello,

I was diagnosed with Vaginismus and Vulvar Vestibulitis 10 years ago. I was 18 and scared and moving across the country for college, but luckily was able to find a doctor who specialized in 'Women's Health' who immediately put me into physical therapy. Long story short, I've been in and out of the system ever since.

A few years into treatment, I had the diagnosis of PTSD added on for …

Comments: 7

Clitoris Issues

Tue Apr 28, 2015 8:17 pm by January

I am going crazyyy trying to figure out what's wrong. Please does anyone else have an issue similar to mine? I'm only 22. So, basically when my clit is lightly rubbed, there is no feeling. However, when rubbed vigorously and directly, the burning and tingling sensations shoot down my legs and feet as if coming to the end of an orgasm but with no good feeling leading up. It's so strange. What …

Comments: 2

Cured of Vulvodynia

Wed Aug 17, 2016 1:39 am by angelique2016

I used to post on this forum a long time ago and told everyone of how I was cured of my vulvodynia by a (Melbourne Australia) female dermatologist, she put me on very low doses of Nortriptyline (Allergron) for pain management about 10mgs I believe it was, and she also had me use Advantan Fatty Ointment (not the cream) (although I saw the cream for sale on ebay from germany) so it might help, as …

Comments: 10

Vulvodynia and IVF? Anyone done this? What does it do to the vulvadynia?

Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:03 am by Carolyn4

Hi everyone,

I have had vulvodynia since age 27--I am now 43 and it has been in pretty good remission.  I control it with acupuncture and herbs, and some cranial sacral therapy.  I have a 5 year old, had a pretty uneventful pregnancy which ended in a c-section.  My VV worsened after that, and I have worked hard to get it back under control (it took over a year to get it back into pretty good …

Comments: 1

Partial Vestibulectomy

Mon Jul 31, 2017 6:44 pm by JGD13

Hi all i am new here.
I had a partial vestibulectomy 21/7 for my provoked vulvodynia.
After a painful few days and feeling quite uncomfortable it seemed to get better. 1 week after i noticed some white stuff and gloopy discharge, it wasnt smelly or itchy but i got a check up at the gp surgery and the doctor said the stitches looked fine and i could just have a touch of thrush. He said this is …

Comments: 6


This is ruining my marriage!

View previous topic View next topic Go down

This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:55 am

My husband and I just had a lengthy "conversation" and I am feeling quite desperate for some support right now. Am wondering if anyone else has dealt with this for so long that it's taken it's toll on your marriage. I've had pain with sex for the entire 18 years of my marriage. And the pain has been toxic to my marriage. My husband has experienced my (progressive) avoidance of sex over the years as personal rejection. Yes, I would tell him it was painful but he never really believed me (nor did the doctors). So, despite the fact that I continued having intercourse with him while trying to ignore the pain, he still sees it as rejection. I am now under the care of a doctor who understands and can treat my specific condition but my marriage continues to go downhill. I'm hopeful that things will get better but right now it feels so grim. Sad

Applejax

Posts : 18
Join date : 2013-01-29

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  evanrude on Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:08 am

I justed wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering physically and emotionally'
This is a very cruel and unfair condition. I do hope and pray for you that things will improve.
Do you have someone you can talk to about this?

evanrude

Posts : 15
Join date : 2011-11-01
Location : USA

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Kathy100 on Fri Feb 22, 2013 1:00 pm

I feel for you. I had similar problem with my boyfriend of 17 years and with doctors /gynae telling me that there was nothing wrong because they couldn't see anything & every test I had came back clear. To start with we didn't have any problems, but then sex got more painful during & afterwards so I would avoid it altogether. He was sympathetic to start with but towards the end less so - saw it as personal rejection, why couldn't we be like "other" couples etc.etc We split up in the end not just because of it but it was a factor. Now I'm glad that I don't have the pressure of worrying about sex & am concentrating on getting better.

If you have a good, understanding dr now perhaps they could talk to your husband about it? Or maybe your dr could recommend a therapist who specialises in this. One of our problems was that we just didn't talk to each other properly anymore.

Good luck & you're not alone

Kathy100

Posts : 95
Join date : 2012-12-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:02 pm

evanrude, thank you for your reply and for your prayers. I do have a good friend who I've shared in depth about all this and she is very understanding and supportive - but also out of town right now. I've recently shared a little with several other friends as I am in great need of support and desperate to not feel so alone in this - especially since my relationship with my husband appears to be rapidly deteriorating. This forum has been wonderful - to know there are those out there who know what it's like is invaluable to me right now.

Kathy100, thank you for your willingness to share your story with me. I feel great comfort in reading others' posts but often they are from women who have been dealing with this for "only" months or a few years. I know that any length of time is too long, but, for me, the first few years really weren't all that difficult. I still could enjoy everything else (besides intercourse) about sex at that time. It's the long duration of this problem that has eaten away at all semblance of desire, sexualness and intimacy. My husband did meet with my dr last month and heard first hand that it is a physical problem. Although he says he believes the dr, he seems to be unable to let go of his belief that it's always been about me rejecting him personally. Hopefully, in time (and with help) he can let go of that belief. I met with a sex therapist yesterday for the first time. I think it will be very helpful to me but, I'm now thinking he needs to go too (individually) to address his issues with all this. Oh, and we've been in marriage counseling off and on for over 10 years solely for our "sex problem". Unfortunately, it's been like fighting an impossible battle. Everyone (including myself to some degree) has not seen it as a pain problem and, instead, the focus has always been how to get me to enjoy sex more. Now, everyone's eyes have been opened to the reality of the pain and it's devastating effects. We're still picking up the pieces and trying to find a path forward.

Thanks so much for 'listening'!

Applejax

Posts : 18
Join date : 2013-01-29

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Sat Feb 23, 2013 4:33 pm

Just wanted to add a quick update. I'm feeling a little more encouraged today. I suggested to my husband that he go to the sex therapist by himself and he actually thought this would be a great idea! Also, during another "conversation" yesterday, he seemed to say that the idea of permanently leaving intercourse off the table and just focusing on other sexual activities could be an option for us. I have no idea why it's taken him this long to finally listen to my pleas to not have to do intercourse, but, hey, at least it's a step in the right direction.

Applejax

Posts : 18
Join date : 2013-01-29

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Kathy100 on Sun Feb 24, 2013 4:17 pm

Hi, thanks for your reply & update. That sounds really positive that your husband is going to the sex therapist and like you say a real step in the right direction. Maybe its only now after seeing your dr last month, he is coming to terms with reality of what V really is and understanding more the horrible pain that you have been going through (mentally & physically)....and realising its not all about him. I hope it goes well and wish you all the luck in the world. I know what you mean about everyone including yourself not seeing it as a pain problem, one of my doctors said I should just relax & get on with it. Another gave me antibiotics / paracetamol to take in case there was any pain! Unfortunately I think it's very difficult for someone who doesn't have to realise how painful & upsetting it is. This forum has been brilliant for me & now I'm seeing a pain specialist & am about to start physio next week after 10 years of thinking I was a freak & it was "just me".

Good luck xx

Kathy100

Posts : 95
Join date : 2012-12-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  meelie on Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:39 pm

Okay, not trying to be a bitch but what can a sex therapist tell you? I mean if intercourse hurts then it hurts, what can he/she tell you except how to please him. i just feel so cheated. I know how to please my husband but I want intercourse with him. We've been married for 46 yrs so I think we know about petting and stuff like that but what can a sex therapist help you with with painful intercourse? I hope I don't sound too bitchy or stupid but it just hit me. Laughing

meelie

Posts : 136
Join date : 2013-01-09
Location : Barnesville, Ga

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:44 pm

That's pretty much what I've always thought, too. Which is why I had never before considered going to one - even when our marriage counselor had suggested it. I decided to meet with her after the specialist recommended it. It's alot different than what I had envisioned, but maybe it's because she is actually a psychologist who specialized in sexual dysfunction. I think she will be able to help us both with the psychological impact this has had. As well as helping us (hopefully him) realize that we could have a much better sex life if we would leave out the painful part (intercourse). It's still a wait and see as to how much it will really help. Question

Applejax

Posts : 18
Join date : 2013-01-29

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  meelie on Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:49 am

Please do keep us informed. I really would like to know, not trying to learn from your dollar, I just would like to know. Good luck and keep posting. Are you taking any medications?

meelie

Posts : 136
Join date : 2013-01-09
Location : Barnesville, Ga

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  carby148 on Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:07 am

meelie wrote:Okay, not trying to be a bitch but what can a sex therapist tell you? I mean if intercourse hurts then it hurts, what can he/she tell you except how to please him. i just feel so cheated. I know how to please my husband but I want intercourse with him. We've been married for 46 yrs so I think we know about petting and stuff like that but what can a sex therapist help you with with painful intercourse? I hope I don't sound too bitchy or stupid but it just hit me. Laughing

I would expect a sex therapist would be able to provide adequate and proper emotional support for sexual dysfunction. I'd feel better about going to a sex therapist than a regular therapist about vulvydonia.

Although vulvydonia is a physical condition better treated by a medical doctor, it also just so happens to be a condition that takes extreme emotional tolls on those who experience it. I'd say seeing a sex therapist is a great idea.
avatar
carby148

Posts : 17
Join date : 2013-02-04
Age : 31
Location : East Bay Area

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum