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» MAY HAVE FOUND A CURE- PLEASE READ
Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:04 pm by infinitelywondering

» my rock bottom, psychological effects of vulvodynia, I told him he can leave me
Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:43 am by renegade_magdalena

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Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:45 am by Athena

» What helped me
Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:38 am by Athena

» NO PAIN DURING SEX
Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:33 am by Athena

MAY HAVE FOUND A CURE- PLEASE READ

Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:04 pm by infinitelywondering

Dear all,

Today has been the day I've been waiting for. The day something FINALLY makes sense.
I've been told countless times that I've got nerve damage or a muscular condition, yet none of the specific treatments have helped me. My GP suggested attacking this from a different angle so referred me to a dermatologist specialist


after having a vestibulectomy with no success, I decided to visit …

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NO PAIN DURING SEX

Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:18 am by rockylife

I HAVE NO PAIN DURING SEX, BUT I FEEL THIS BURNING SENSATION ALL DAY JUST BESIDE THE VAGINAL OPENING. DO I REALLY HAVE A VULVODYNIA? I'M CONFUSED.

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Newby not sure where to turn

Thu Feb 01, 2018 3:32 pm by Cerjo87

Hi this is all very new to me , well the talking about it bit is , the pain while having sex and also the uncomfortable feelings after and feeling like I have  sistitus most of the time I’m very used to , I’ve suffered for 7 years now I’m only 30 . Finally after all this time the doctors or should I say my gp has said I have Vulvodynia and have givin me gabapentin to try .i told her I’d …

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Looking for a friend..... and new problems

Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:38 pm by infinitelywondering

Hi everyone,

I hope you're doing well.

I hate to say this, but I feel beaten down and terribly alone. I had a vestibulectomy surgery about 6 months ago and I was absolutely praying it would work. It didn't.

6 months later and here I am, sitting on my bedroom floor crying my eyes out because I know I'll never be able to have painfree sex. I don't know what to do and just need a friend Sad



Comments: 8

Newbie to the site

Sun Jul 30, 2017 12:16 am by Ksa

Hello. Thank you for this wonderful site. I'm currently under the care of a dr in Phoenix that specializes in vaginal disorders. I will probably be on a suppository of estridol the rest of my life and I am currently on medications for a rare form of vaginitis that's pretty unheard of for my age. My vagina literally hates me. I've struggled with vulvadynia for 20 years, the duration of my …

Comments: 4

Vulvodynia from #metoo media coverage

Thu Jan 25, 2018 9:01 pm by dooleyhornberg

I am wondering if anyone else in this forum has experience an increase or flare up in their vulvodynia as a result of the coverage of the sexual abuse scandals in Hollywood, DC, and the recent gymnastics scandal. I have definitely had a flare up.

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So frustrating!!

Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:15 am by Hannah77

Well I'm back in pain after 7 years of pain free days.
I was diagnosed with vulvodynia when I was 17. I suffered for three years with horrible burning all day, painful sex with my boyfriend and just pure misery Sad I went into a spontaneous remission when I was 20. I'm still not sure how the pain stopped but all the sudden I could go an entire day without thinking of my vagina, sex started to …

Comments: 3

Looking for suggestions or encouragement

Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:10 am by ryn207

Hi there. I'm 25 and have been dealing with this for over a year and a half and I'm really starting to lose hope this will ever stop.

In July of 2016 I had a yeast infection. When Monistat didn't work I went to my gynecologist who prescribed Diflucan. When the itching didn't stop she retested me and found that my yeast infection was gone, but I now had a bacterial infection. After taking the …

Comments: 4

Amitriptyline given for vulvodyina pain

Tue Oct 24, 2017 2:46 pm by katycrawford

Hi there,

After years of being misdiagnosed etc as most women have on this forum I have finally been diagnosed with vulvodynia (yay) and have been given the lowest dose of an antidepressant called Amitriptyline. Has anyone been on this before and has any positive (or negative) news to give me? Im feeling down already and I've only been taking it for a few days, I don't have much hope of it …

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This is ruining my marriage!

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This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:55 am

My husband and I just had a lengthy "conversation" and I am feeling quite desperate for some support right now. Am wondering if anyone else has dealt with this for so long that it's taken it's toll on your marriage. I've had pain with sex for the entire 18 years of my marriage. And the pain has been toxic to my marriage. My husband has experienced my (progressive) avoidance of sex over the years as personal rejection. Yes, I would tell him it was painful but he never really believed me (nor did the doctors). So, despite the fact that I continued having intercourse with him while trying to ignore the pain, he still sees it as rejection. I am now under the care of a doctor who understands and can treat my specific condition but my marriage continues to go downhill. I'm hopeful that things will get better but right now it feels so grim. Sad

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  evanrude on Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:08 am

I justed wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering physically and emotionally'
This is a very cruel and unfair condition. I do hope and pray for you that things will improve.
Do you have someone you can talk to about this?

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Kathy100 on Fri Feb 22, 2013 1:00 pm

I feel for you. I had similar problem with my boyfriend of 17 years and with doctors /gynae telling me that there was nothing wrong because they couldn't see anything & every test I had came back clear. To start with we didn't have any problems, but then sex got more painful during & afterwards so I would avoid it altogether. He was sympathetic to start with but towards the end less so - saw it as personal rejection, why couldn't we be like "other" couples etc.etc We split up in the end not just because of it but it was a factor. Now I'm glad that I don't have the pressure of worrying about sex & am concentrating on getting better.

If you have a good, understanding dr now perhaps they could talk to your husband about it? Or maybe your dr could recommend a therapist who specialises in this. One of our problems was that we just didn't talk to each other properly anymore.

Good luck & you're not alone

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:02 pm

evanrude, thank you for your reply and for your prayers. I do have a good friend who I've shared in depth about all this and she is very understanding and supportive - but also out of town right now. I've recently shared a little with several other friends as I am in great need of support and desperate to not feel so alone in this - especially since my relationship with my husband appears to be rapidly deteriorating. This forum has been wonderful - to know there are those out there who know what it's like is invaluable to me right now.

Kathy100, thank you for your willingness to share your story with me. I feel great comfort in reading others' posts but often they are from women who have been dealing with this for "only" months or a few years. I know that any length of time is too long, but, for me, the first few years really weren't all that difficult. I still could enjoy everything else (besides intercourse) about sex at that time. It's the long duration of this problem that has eaten away at all semblance of desire, sexualness and intimacy. My husband did meet with my dr last month and heard first hand that it is a physical problem. Although he says he believes the dr, he seems to be unable to let go of his belief that it's always been about me rejecting him personally. Hopefully, in time (and with help) he can let go of that belief. I met with a sex therapist yesterday for the first time. I think it will be very helpful to me but, I'm now thinking he needs to go too (individually) to address his issues with all this. Oh, and we've been in marriage counseling off and on for over 10 years solely for our "sex problem". Unfortunately, it's been like fighting an impossible battle. Everyone (including myself to some degree) has not seen it as a pain problem and, instead, the focus has always been how to get me to enjoy sex more. Now, everyone's eyes have been opened to the reality of the pain and it's devastating effects. We're still picking up the pieces and trying to find a path forward.

Thanks so much for 'listening'!

Applejax

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Sat Feb 23, 2013 4:33 pm

Just wanted to add a quick update. I'm feeling a little more encouraged today. I suggested to my husband that he go to the sex therapist by himself and he actually thought this would be a great idea! Also, during another "conversation" yesterday, he seemed to say that the idea of permanently leaving intercourse off the table and just focusing on other sexual activities could be an option for us. I have no idea why it's taken him this long to finally listen to my pleas to not have to do intercourse, but, hey, at least it's a step in the right direction.

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Kathy100 on Sun Feb 24, 2013 4:17 pm

Hi, thanks for your reply & update. That sounds really positive that your husband is going to the sex therapist and like you say a real step in the right direction. Maybe its only now after seeing your dr last month, he is coming to terms with reality of what V really is and understanding more the horrible pain that you have been going through (mentally & physically)....and realising its not all about him. I hope it goes well and wish you all the luck in the world. I know what you mean about everyone including yourself not seeing it as a pain problem, one of my doctors said I should just relax & get on with it. Another gave me antibiotics / paracetamol to take in case there was any pain! Unfortunately I think it's very difficult for someone who doesn't have to realise how painful & upsetting it is. This forum has been brilliant for me & now I'm seeing a pain specialist & am about to start physio next week after 10 years of thinking I was a freak & it was "just me".

Good luck xx

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  meelie on Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:39 pm

Okay, not trying to be a bitch but what can a sex therapist tell you? I mean if intercourse hurts then it hurts, what can he/she tell you except how to please him. i just feel so cheated. I know how to please my husband but I want intercourse with him. We've been married for 46 yrs so I think we know about petting and stuff like that but what can a sex therapist help you with with painful intercourse? I hope I don't sound too bitchy or stupid but it just hit me. Laughing

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:44 pm

That's pretty much what I've always thought, too. Which is why I had never before considered going to one - even when our marriage counselor had suggested it. I decided to meet with her after the specialist recommended it. It's alot different than what I had envisioned, but maybe it's because she is actually a psychologist who specialized in sexual dysfunction. I think she will be able to help us both with the psychological impact this has had. As well as helping us (hopefully him) realize that we could have a much better sex life if we would leave out the painful part (intercourse). It's still a wait and see as to how much it will really help. Question

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  meelie on Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:49 am

Please do keep us informed. I really would like to know, not trying to learn from your dollar, I just would like to know. Good luck and keep posting. Are you taking any medications?

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  carby148 on Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:07 am

meelie wrote:Okay, not trying to be a bitch but what can a sex therapist tell you? I mean if intercourse hurts then it hurts, what can he/she tell you except how to please him. i just feel so cheated. I know how to please my husband but I want intercourse with him. We've been married for 46 yrs so I think we know about petting and stuff like that but what can a sex therapist help you with with painful intercourse? I hope I don't sound too bitchy or stupid but it just hit me. Laughing

I would expect a sex therapist would be able to provide adequate and proper emotional support for sexual dysfunction. I'd feel better about going to a sex therapist than a regular therapist about vulvydonia.

Although vulvydonia is a physical condition better treated by a medical doctor, it also just so happens to be a condition that takes extreme emotional tolls on those who experience it. I'd say seeing a sex therapist is a great idea.
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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

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