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I'm new to this forum and would love some advice! :)

Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:13 am by anikita

Hi lovely gals!

I'm honestly hoping to get any bit of advice anyone might have to offer. I go from bouts of sobbing hysterically in my boyfriend's arms to feeling confident that I can beat this.

I haven't been actually diagnosed with vulvodynia but EVERYTHING under the sun has come back negative. I started having sex 4 years ago after starting Lo Loestrin, with my first and current boyfriend …

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I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?

Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:17 pm by Tunes25

Hello!

I am a 25 year old woman and wanted to share my story here as I feel frustrated by the suggestions of my gyno and am hoping for some advice.

To give the context for this: in September 2016 I moved in with my long term boyfriend after living abroad a year and (nearly) abstaining from sex. Within a few weeks I had got a yeast infection which I treated myself successfully, but then 2 weeks …

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Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams

Thu May 10, 2018 9:43 am by Rosie21

Hi I have been suffering for some years with this abominable pain. I have tried most of the systemic drugs , I asked specialists and Doctors if I could at least try a topical treatment but because this requires a special prescription have been refused Has anybody had a chance of trying these? Thank you I will try to put a link on to some of the research into Gabapentin Gel. Thanks.

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What has been helping ME (much less pain over time!!)

Wed May 16, 2018 3:43 am by leoscc

Hello everyone! I vanished for quite some time as my life became consumed by not only this but other daily responsibilities as well. Shortly after my diagnosis, my boyfriend f 3 years left me as he did not want to deal with this. It left me broken for a while but also gave me time to figure out what the heck was going on. So, I will write out a quick list of my symptoms and what helped me.

1. I …

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I cured myself 100% of vulvodynia twenty years ago--I hope this helps someone

Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:33 pm by totallycured

Hi,

Every so often I'm reminded of the constant, persistent, horrible pain I was in two decades ago, and I reach out to try to help others who are suffering. If someone had offered me a solution during that terrible time, I'd have jumped at it. I hope this helps someone.

Yes, I did have terrible vulvodynia. It felt like someone poured acid all over my vulva. My doctor confirmed it and was …

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Condoms Less Painful?

Mon May 07, 2018 3:35 am by stillinpain

I'm just curious, has anyone found using condoms to be less abrasive to the skin than without? I just got off birth control and haven't stretched myself out enough post surgery to try sex yet, but when I do I am wondering how trying it with condoms with affect the sensation. I feel like for me the skin to skin sensation creates pain, not just at my entrance but internally, too, since I also have …

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Will there be an end?

Fri Apr 27, 2018 12:06 am by Krista2828

I go in and out of being okay and not being okay with this condition. I question often why me? I am a problem solver by nature and I feel so defeated that after tons of research and trial and error and doctors and tears that there still is no answer.

I am in my 20's.. it shouldn't be this way.

Id love to know what all has worked! I am willing to try anything to get my life back. I am curious …

Comments: 6

you can be healed so easy and quite fast.

Thu Apr 26, 2018 11:46 pm by pussycat

Hello everyone,
i am new to this forum. I wanted to share my personal "journey" with V with you and to give you a real hope you can be totally healed/recovered from V. Many years ago i was struck with V, it was painful and got worst and worst, eventually i could not sit, could not stand, could not walk, could not swim in a swimming pool anymore. I was becoming bedridden, it frightened …

Comments: 4

Hi Im from Australia :)

Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:08 am by emma

Hi girls... I live in Australia.
I am currently undergoing a new treatment for vulvodynia. Just wondering if anyone else here has tried it. It's Endep in the form of cream to apply directly on the area. I dont know if anyone else has tried this but so far evidently it has had a 50% success rate.
Anyway i feel at a loss. This new treatment is exciting but at the same time i just dont feel like …

Comments: 35


This is ruining my marriage!

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This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:55 am

My husband and I just had a lengthy "conversation" and I am feeling quite desperate for some support right now. Am wondering if anyone else has dealt with this for so long that it's taken it's toll on your marriage. I've had pain with sex for the entire 18 years of my marriage. And the pain has been toxic to my marriage. My husband has experienced my (progressive) avoidance of sex over the years as personal rejection. Yes, I would tell him it was painful but he never really believed me (nor did the doctors). So, despite the fact that I continued having intercourse with him while trying to ignore the pain, he still sees it as rejection. I am now under the care of a doctor who understands and can treat my specific condition but my marriage continues to go downhill. I'm hopeful that things will get better but right now it feels so grim. Sad

Applejax

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  evanrude on Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:08 am

I justed wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering physically and emotionally'
This is a very cruel and unfair condition. I do hope and pray for you that things will improve.
Do you have someone you can talk to about this?

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Kathy100 on Fri Feb 22, 2013 1:00 pm

I feel for you. I had similar problem with my boyfriend of 17 years and with doctors /gynae telling me that there was nothing wrong because they couldn't see anything & every test I had came back clear. To start with we didn't have any problems, but then sex got more painful during & afterwards so I would avoid it altogether. He was sympathetic to start with but towards the end less so - saw it as personal rejection, why couldn't we be like "other" couples etc.etc We split up in the end not just because of it but it was a factor. Now I'm glad that I don't have the pressure of worrying about sex & am concentrating on getting better.

If you have a good, understanding dr now perhaps they could talk to your husband about it? Or maybe your dr could recommend a therapist who specialises in this. One of our problems was that we just didn't talk to each other properly anymore.

Good luck & you're not alone

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:02 pm

evanrude, thank you for your reply and for your prayers. I do have a good friend who I've shared in depth about all this and she is very understanding and supportive - but also out of town right now. I've recently shared a little with several other friends as I am in great need of support and desperate to not feel so alone in this - especially since my relationship with my husband appears to be rapidly deteriorating. This forum has been wonderful - to know there are those out there who know what it's like is invaluable to me right now.

Kathy100, thank you for your willingness to share your story with me. I feel great comfort in reading others' posts but often they are from women who have been dealing with this for "only" months or a few years. I know that any length of time is too long, but, for me, the first few years really weren't all that difficult. I still could enjoy everything else (besides intercourse) about sex at that time. It's the long duration of this problem that has eaten away at all semblance of desire, sexualness and intimacy. My husband did meet with my dr last month and heard first hand that it is a physical problem. Although he says he believes the dr, he seems to be unable to let go of his belief that it's always been about me rejecting him personally. Hopefully, in time (and with help) he can let go of that belief. I met with a sex therapist yesterday for the first time. I think it will be very helpful to me but, I'm now thinking he needs to go too (individually) to address his issues with all this. Oh, and we've been in marriage counseling off and on for over 10 years solely for our "sex problem". Unfortunately, it's been like fighting an impossible battle. Everyone (including myself to some degree) has not seen it as a pain problem and, instead, the focus has always been how to get me to enjoy sex more. Now, everyone's eyes have been opened to the reality of the pain and it's devastating effects. We're still picking up the pieces and trying to find a path forward.

Thanks so much for 'listening'!

Applejax

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Sat Feb 23, 2013 4:33 pm

Just wanted to add a quick update. I'm feeling a little more encouraged today. I suggested to my husband that he go to the sex therapist by himself and he actually thought this would be a great idea! Also, during another "conversation" yesterday, he seemed to say that the idea of permanently leaving intercourse off the table and just focusing on other sexual activities could be an option for us. I have no idea why it's taken him this long to finally listen to my pleas to not have to do intercourse, but, hey, at least it's a step in the right direction.

Applejax

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Kathy100 on Sun Feb 24, 2013 4:17 pm

Hi, thanks for your reply & update. That sounds really positive that your husband is going to the sex therapist and like you say a real step in the right direction. Maybe its only now after seeing your dr last month, he is coming to terms with reality of what V really is and understanding more the horrible pain that you have been going through (mentally & physically)....and realising its not all about him. I hope it goes well and wish you all the luck in the world. I know what you mean about everyone including yourself not seeing it as a pain problem, one of my doctors said I should just relax & get on with it. Another gave me antibiotics / paracetamol to take in case there was any pain! Unfortunately I think it's very difficult for someone who doesn't have to realise how painful & upsetting it is. This forum has been brilliant for me & now I'm seeing a pain specialist & am about to start physio next week after 10 years of thinking I was a freak & it was "just me".

Good luck xx

Kathy100

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  meelie on Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:39 pm

Okay, not trying to be a bitch but what can a sex therapist tell you? I mean if intercourse hurts then it hurts, what can he/she tell you except how to please him. i just feel so cheated. I know how to please my husband but I want intercourse with him. We've been married for 46 yrs so I think we know about petting and stuff like that but what can a sex therapist help you with with painful intercourse? I hope I don't sound too bitchy or stupid but it just hit me. Laughing

meelie

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:44 pm

That's pretty much what I've always thought, too. Which is why I had never before considered going to one - even when our marriage counselor had suggested it. I decided to meet with her after the specialist recommended it. It's alot different than what I had envisioned, but maybe it's because she is actually a psychologist who specialized in sexual dysfunction. I think she will be able to help us both with the psychological impact this has had. As well as helping us (hopefully him) realize that we could have a much better sex life if we would leave out the painful part (intercourse). It's still a wait and see as to how much it will really help. Question

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  meelie on Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:49 am

Please do keep us informed. I really would like to know, not trying to learn from your dollar, I just would like to know. Good luck and keep posting. Are you taking any medications?

meelie

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  carby148 on Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:07 am

meelie wrote:Okay, not trying to be a bitch but what can a sex therapist tell you? I mean if intercourse hurts then it hurts, what can he/she tell you except how to please him. i just feel so cheated. I know how to please my husband but I want intercourse with him. We've been married for 46 yrs so I think we know about petting and stuff like that but what can a sex therapist help you with with painful intercourse? I hope I don't sound too bitchy or stupid but it just hit me. Laughing

I would expect a sex therapist would be able to provide adequate and proper emotional support for sexual dysfunction. I'd feel better about going to a sex therapist than a regular therapist about vulvydonia.

Although vulvydonia is a physical condition better treated by a medical doctor, it also just so happens to be a condition that takes extreme emotional tolls on those who experience it. I'd say seeing a sex therapist is a great idea.
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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

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