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Today at 10:07 am by amyhp

» HELP!! Topical cream?
Mon Apr 16, 2018 5:49 pm by Sad

» Please tell me this can get better
Sun Apr 15, 2018 11:31 am by amf329

» Pressure to have sex.
Sun Apr 15, 2018 2:00 am by Sad

» Vulvodynia and other neurological diseases?
Sat Apr 14, 2018 8:00 pm by wuhujen

» I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?
Sat Apr 14, 2018 7:57 pm by wuhujen

» I wanted to share a resource that has made a huge difference for me
Wed Apr 11, 2018 9:28 pm by amf329

» Loneliness
Wed Apr 11, 2018 11:36 am by sophiarp

» I cured myself 100% of vulvodynia twenty years ago--I hope this helps someone
Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:06 am by Warrior2010

I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?

Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:17 pm by Tunes25

Hello!

I am a 25 year old woman and wanted to share my story here as I feel frustrated by the suggestions of my gyno and am hoping for some advice.

To give the context for this: in September 2016 I moved in with my long term boyfriend after living abroad a year and (nearly) abstaining from sex. Within a few weeks I had got a yeast infection which I treated myself successfully, but then 2 weeks …

Comments: 4

I cured myself 100% of vulvodynia twenty years ago--I hope this helps someone

Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:33 pm by totallycured

Hi,

Every so often I'm reminded of the constant, persistent, horrible pain I was in two decades ago, and I reach out to try to help others who are suffering. If someone had offered me a solution during that terrible time, I'd have jumped at it. I hope this helps someone.

Yes, I did have terrible vulvodynia. It felt like someone poured acid all over my vulva. My doctor confirmed it and was …

Comments: 3

Hi Im from Australia :)

Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:08 am by emma

Hi girls... I live in Australia.
I am currently undergoing a new treatment for vulvodynia. Just wondering if anyone else here has tried it. It's Endep in the form of cream to apply directly on the area. I dont know if anyone else has tried this but so far evidently it has had a 50% success rate.
Anyway i feel at a loss. This new treatment is exciting but at the same time i just dont feel like …

Comments: 35

Somebody please help me...

Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:05 am by Andlag

Hey everyone,

since I started being sexually active i often experienced burning in my vagina which was often worse during sex /around the time of my period or when using lubricants. I was never able to use tampons because the one time i tried putting them in it felt like acid was poured on my skin. Fast forward to 2 months ago when I got a UTI and an allergic reaction in my vagina. I thought it …

Comments: 14

Lidocaine with condoms?

Wed Mar 21, 2018 10:44 pm by AEM1

Hi everyone! My doctor just prescribed me a topical lidocaine to administer before sex, but I forgot to ask if it is okay to use with condoms. Has anyone else used this before and know it is safe to use with condoms? Thanks! Very Happy
Unrelated, but I just started Lyrica a few weeks ago...no changes yet, but I'm hopeful something will come out of it. 3 years with vulvodynia and unable to have sex …

Comments: 1

Constant pain, I want to die.

Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:29 am by Meggiemay

I posted on here a few years ago but my symptoms went away with the inflammation. I didn't get so lucky this time.

For over three months, i've had terrible rawness, burning, soreness in the urethral/vestibule area and pressure/hypersensitivity in the clitoral area. I've also had some lower abdominal pressure and burning on my butt. I can barely walk! My gyno hasn't been much help. I'm on …

Comments: 23

Recently Diagnosed which has motivated my research study

Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:54 pm by ebclose2free

Hi everyone,

My name is Eliza Barach and I was diagnosed with vulvodynia in October of 2017. I'm also PhD student at the State University of New York at Albany. I work several professors at SUNY, but one in particular, Dr. Mitch Earleywine researches marijuana and its possible efficacy as an alternative treatment. Our previous examined cannabis and symptoms of PMS/PMDD and found that women …

Comments: 0

MAY HAVE FOUND A CURE- PLEASE READ

Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:04 pm by infinitelywondering

Dear all,

Today has been the day I've been waiting for. The day something FINALLY makes sense.
I've been told countless times that I've got nerve damage or a muscular condition, yet none of the specific treatments have helped me. My GP suggested attacking this from a different angle so referred me to a dermatologist specialist


after having a vestibulectomy with no success, I decided to visit …

Comments: 3

New and desperate for advice

Sat Mar 03, 2018 2:37 pm by srbry

Hi everyone,

I'm new here and was told to find a support group because this is all getting a bit much really...

I lost my virginity when I was 18 and it hurt - that was normal. Loads of women had told me that it hurt so that was fine I didn't question that. I was with the same guy for a couple of months and each time after that it was uncomfortable and not great. I didn't tell him because I …

Comments: 3


This is ruining my marriage!

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This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:55 am

My husband and I just had a lengthy "conversation" and I am feeling quite desperate for some support right now. Am wondering if anyone else has dealt with this for so long that it's taken it's toll on your marriage. I've had pain with sex for the entire 18 years of my marriage. And the pain has been toxic to my marriage. My husband has experienced my (progressive) avoidance of sex over the years as personal rejection. Yes, I would tell him it was painful but he never really believed me (nor did the doctors). So, despite the fact that I continued having intercourse with him while trying to ignore the pain, he still sees it as rejection. I am now under the care of a doctor who understands and can treat my specific condition but my marriage continues to go downhill. I'm hopeful that things will get better but right now it feels so grim. Sad

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  evanrude on Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:08 am

I justed wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering physically and emotionally'
This is a very cruel and unfair condition. I do hope and pray for you that things will improve.
Do you have someone you can talk to about this?

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Kathy100 on Fri Feb 22, 2013 1:00 pm

I feel for you. I had similar problem with my boyfriend of 17 years and with doctors /gynae telling me that there was nothing wrong because they couldn't see anything & every test I had came back clear. To start with we didn't have any problems, but then sex got more painful during & afterwards so I would avoid it altogether. He was sympathetic to start with but towards the end less so - saw it as personal rejection, why couldn't we be like "other" couples etc.etc We split up in the end not just because of it but it was a factor. Now I'm glad that I don't have the pressure of worrying about sex & am concentrating on getting better.

If you have a good, understanding dr now perhaps they could talk to your husband about it? Or maybe your dr could recommend a therapist who specialises in this. One of our problems was that we just didn't talk to each other properly anymore.

Good luck & you're not alone

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:02 pm

evanrude, thank you for your reply and for your prayers. I do have a good friend who I've shared in depth about all this and she is very understanding and supportive - but also out of town right now. I've recently shared a little with several other friends as I am in great need of support and desperate to not feel so alone in this - especially since my relationship with my husband appears to be rapidly deteriorating. This forum has been wonderful - to know there are those out there who know what it's like is invaluable to me right now.

Kathy100, thank you for your willingness to share your story with me. I feel great comfort in reading others' posts but often they are from women who have been dealing with this for "only" months or a few years. I know that any length of time is too long, but, for me, the first few years really weren't all that difficult. I still could enjoy everything else (besides intercourse) about sex at that time. It's the long duration of this problem that has eaten away at all semblance of desire, sexualness and intimacy. My husband did meet with my dr last month and heard first hand that it is a physical problem. Although he says he believes the dr, he seems to be unable to let go of his belief that it's always been about me rejecting him personally. Hopefully, in time (and with help) he can let go of that belief. I met with a sex therapist yesterday for the first time. I think it will be very helpful to me but, I'm now thinking he needs to go too (individually) to address his issues with all this. Oh, and we've been in marriage counseling off and on for over 10 years solely for our "sex problem". Unfortunately, it's been like fighting an impossible battle. Everyone (including myself to some degree) has not seen it as a pain problem and, instead, the focus has always been how to get me to enjoy sex more. Now, everyone's eyes have been opened to the reality of the pain and it's devastating effects. We're still picking up the pieces and trying to find a path forward.

Thanks so much for 'listening'!

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Sat Feb 23, 2013 4:33 pm

Just wanted to add a quick update. I'm feeling a little more encouraged today. I suggested to my husband that he go to the sex therapist by himself and he actually thought this would be a great idea! Also, during another "conversation" yesterday, he seemed to say that the idea of permanently leaving intercourse off the table and just focusing on other sexual activities could be an option for us. I have no idea why it's taken him this long to finally listen to my pleas to not have to do intercourse, but, hey, at least it's a step in the right direction.

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Kathy100 on Sun Feb 24, 2013 4:17 pm

Hi, thanks for your reply & update. That sounds really positive that your husband is going to the sex therapist and like you say a real step in the right direction. Maybe its only now after seeing your dr last month, he is coming to terms with reality of what V really is and understanding more the horrible pain that you have been going through (mentally & physically)....and realising its not all about him. I hope it goes well and wish you all the luck in the world. I know what you mean about everyone including yourself not seeing it as a pain problem, one of my doctors said I should just relax & get on with it. Another gave me antibiotics / paracetamol to take in case there was any pain! Unfortunately I think it's very difficult for someone who doesn't have to realise how painful & upsetting it is. This forum has been brilliant for me & now I'm seeing a pain specialist & am about to start physio next week after 10 years of thinking I was a freak & it was "just me".

Good luck xx

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  meelie on Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:39 pm

Okay, not trying to be a bitch but what can a sex therapist tell you? I mean if intercourse hurts then it hurts, what can he/she tell you except how to please him. i just feel so cheated. I know how to please my husband but I want intercourse with him. We've been married for 46 yrs so I think we know about petting and stuff like that but what can a sex therapist help you with with painful intercourse? I hope I don't sound too bitchy or stupid but it just hit me. Laughing

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:44 pm

That's pretty much what I've always thought, too. Which is why I had never before considered going to one - even when our marriage counselor had suggested it. I decided to meet with her after the specialist recommended it. It's alot different than what I had envisioned, but maybe it's because she is actually a psychologist who specialized in sexual dysfunction. I think she will be able to help us both with the psychological impact this has had. As well as helping us (hopefully him) realize that we could have a much better sex life if we would leave out the painful part (intercourse). It's still a wait and see as to how much it will really help. Question

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  meelie on Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:49 am

Please do keep us informed. I really would like to know, not trying to learn from your dollar, I just would like to know. Good luck and keep posting. Are you taking any medications?

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  carby148 on Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:07 am

meelie wrote:Okay, not trying to be a bitch but what can a sex therapist tell you? I mean if intercourse hurts then it hurts, what can he/she tell you except how to please him. i just feel so cheated. I know how to please my husband but I want intercourse with him. We've been married for 46 yrs so I think we know about petting and stuff like that but what can a sex therapist help you with with painful intercourse? I hope I don't sound too bitchy or stupid but it just hit me. Laughing

I would expect a sex therapist would be able to provide adequate and proper emotional support for sexual dysfunction. I'd feel better about going to a sex therapist than a regular therapist about vulvydonia.

Although vulvydonia is a physical condition better treated by a medical doctor, it also just so happens to be a condition that takes extreme emotional tolls on those who experience it. I'd say seeing a sex therapist is a great idea.
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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

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