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» Anyone been to see Dr.Claire Bailey in Birmingham?
Tue Aug 15, 2017 6:36 pm by Kezz

» Recently Diagnosed.... Help!
Tue Aug 15, 2017 2:57 pm by amyhp

» Vestibulectomy
Sun Aug 13, 2017 9:54 am by infinitelywondering

» Discomfort from my own liquids
Sun Aug 13, 2017 4:27 am by Hopeitworks

» Anyone else have burning on the front of thighs?
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» Partial Vestibulectomy
Sun Aug 13, 2017 1:38 am by infinitelywondering

» Anyone being treated by Drexel University???
Sat Aug 12, 2017 8:50 pm by Hopeitworks

» Post Vestibulectomy Pain !!!
Sat Aug 12, 2017 8:00 pm by sj17

» Pain management - what works for me
Sat Aug 12, 2017 9:58 am by sj17

Partial Vestibulectomy

Mon Jul 31, 2017 6:44 pm by JGD13

Hi all i am new here.
I had a partial vestibulectomy 21/7 for my provoked vulvodynia.
After a painful few days and feeling quite uncomfortable it seemed to get better. 1 week after i noticed some white stuff and gloopy discharge, it wasnt smelly or itchy but i got a check up at the gp surgery and the doctor said the stitches looked fine and i could just have a touch of thrush. He said this is …

Comments: 4

New w/ Secondary Provoked Vestibuldynia

Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:46 pm by Birdy

Hi everyone,

I'm here because I'm pretty sure I have secondary provoked vestibuldynia, even though my gyno is still "optimistic" it is not.  My problem started six months ago when I got my second UTI in as many months (after going 25 years of life without one) and then ended up with a bad yeast infection (also my first one ever) thanks to the antibiotics.  Ever since the yeast …

Comments: 3

Anyone from the PNW?

Sat Aug 05, 2017 7:54 am by jungleclover

I'm located near Portland and I would be really cool to actually meet someone with this issue. I think my roommate in college technically had this problem. She had an overgrown hymen removed and can't deal with penetration as a result. But she is gay so it seems like it hasn't been a huge problem for her (although we didn't talk about it much so there was possibly more to it than she let on). …

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Constant pain, I want to die.

Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:29 am by Meggiemay

I posted on here a few years ago but my symptoms went away with the inflammation. I didn't get so lucky this time.

For over three months, i've had terrible rawness, burning, soreness in the urethral/vestibule area and pressure/hypersensitivity in the clitoral area. I've also had some lower abdominal pressure and burning on my butt. I can barely walk! My gyno hasn't been much help. I'm on …

Comments: 22

Newbie to the site

Sun Jul 30, 2017 12:16 am by Ksa

Hello. Thank you for this wonderful site. I'm currently under the care of a dr in Phoenix that specializes in vaginal disorders. I will probably be on a suppository of estridol the rest of my life and I am currently on medications for a rare form of vaginitis that's pretty unheard of for my age. My vagina literally hates me. I've struggled with vulvadynia for 20 years, the duration of my …

Comments: 1

New to the site and just had a vestibulectomy

Fri Aug 04, 2017 12:19 am by Hopeitworks

Hello Everyone,

I have been suffering from vulvodynia for years! So I decided to go ahead and have vestibulectomy on July 28, 2017. I really wished I would of found this site before I went through with the surgery. Maybe I would have been more prepared to deal with recovering. I just need someone to talk and I dont mind hearing your story.

Comments: 2

Post Vestibulectomy

Thu Aug 03, 2017 6:15 pm by infinitelywondering

Heya,

I had my vestibulectomy (full) about a day and a half ago. I was very sick and poorly just after the op and experienced intense pain down there Sad

However, today I came home and have done the following things:

-washed with warm water
-applied manuka honey to the area
-ensured I wash at least 3 times a day and dab the area dry gently
-use frozen peas to stop the swelling

As of now I am …

Comments: 0

can anyone recommend a good dermatologist in LA?

Thu Jul 27, 2017 4:17 pm by saffron

Hi, I am wondering if anyone knows a vulvar dermatologist in Los Angeles? My problems seem to be external, but I'm having trouble finding a knowledgable doctor. My current dermatologist is pretty cosmetic based and I'm afraid all the products he prescribed actually made my situation so much worse!

I know there a few drs in Orange County/San Diego, but was hoping to stay local as even …

Comments: 3

Vulvodynia and IVF? Anyone done this? What does it do to the vulvadynia?

Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:03 am by Carolyn4

Hi everyone,

I have had vulvodynia since age 27--I am now 43 and it has been in pretty good remission.  I control it with acupuncture and herbs, and some cranial sacral therapy.  I have a 5 year old, had a pretty uneventful pregnancy which ended in a c-section.  My VV worsened after that, and I have worked hard to get it back under control (it took over a year to get it back into pretty good …

Comments: 0


This is ruining my marriage!

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This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:55 am

My husband and I just had a lengthy "conversation" and I am feeling quite desperate for some support right now. Am wondering if anyone else has dealt with this for so long that it's taken it's toll on your marriage. I've had pain with sex for the entire 18 years of my marriage. And the pain has been toxic to my marriage. My husband has experienced my (progressive) avoidance of sex over the years as personal rejection. Yes, I would tell him it was painful but he never really believed me (nor did the doctors). So, despite the fact that I continued having intercourse with him while trying to ignore the pain, he still sees it as rejection. I am now under the care of a doctor who understands and can treat my specific condition but my marriage continues to go downhill. I'm hopeful that things will get better but right now it feels so grim. Sad

Applejax

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  evanrude on Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:08 am

I justed wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering physically and emotionally'
This is a very cruel and unfair condition. I do hope and pray for you that things will improve.
Do you have someone you can talk to about this?

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Kathy100 on Fri Feb 22, 2013 1:00 pm

I feel for you. I had similar problem with my boyfriend of 17 years and with doctors /gynae telling me that there was nothing wrong because they couldn't see anything & every test I had came back clear. To start with we didn't have any problems, but then sex got more painful during & afterwards so I would avoid it altogether. He was sympathetic to start with but towards the end less so - saw it as personal rejection, why couldn't we be like "other" couples etc.etc We split up in the end not just because of it but it was a factor. Now I'm glad that I don't have the pressure of worrying about sex & am concentrating on getting better.

If you have a good, understanding dr now perhaps they could talk to your husband about it? Or maybe your dr could recommend a therapist who specialises in this. One of our problems was that we just didn't talk to each other properly anymore.

Good luck & you're not alone

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Fri Feb 22, 2013 4:02 pm

evanrude, thank you for your reply and for your prayers. I do have a good friend who I've shared in depth about all this and she is very understanding and supportive - but also out of town right now. I've recently shared a little with several other friends as I am in great need of support and desperate to not feel so alone in this - especially since my relationship with my husband appears to be rapidly deteriorating. This forum has been wonderful - to know there are those out there who know what it's like is invaluable to me right now.

Kathy100, thank you for your willingness to share your story with me. I feel great comfort in reading others' posts but often they are from women who have been dealing with this for "only" months or a few years. I know that any length of time is too long, but, for me, the first few years really weren't all that difficult. I still could enjoy everything else (besides intercourse) about sex at that time. It's the long duration of this problem that has eaten away at all semblance of desire, sexualness and intimacy. My husband did meet with my dr last month and heard first hand that it is a physical problem. Although he says he believes the dr, he seems to be unable to let go of his belief that it's always been about me rejecting him personally. Hopefully, in time (and with help) he can let go of that belief. I met with a sex therapist yesterday for the first time. I think it will be very helpful to me but, I'm now thinking he needs to go too (individually) to address his issues with all this. Oh, and we've been in marriage counseling off and on for over 10 years solely for our "sex problem". Unfortunately, it's been like fighting an impossible battle. Everyone (including myself to some degree) has not seen it as a pain problem and, instead, the focus has always been how to get me to enjoy sex more. Now, everyone's eyes have been opened to the reality of the pain and it's devastating effects. We're still picking up the pieces and trying to find a path forward.

Thanks so much for 'listening'!

Applejax

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Sat Feb 23, 2013 4:33 pm

Just wanted to add a quick update. I'm feeling a little more encouraged today. I suggested to my husband that he go to the sex therapist by himself and he actually thought this would be a great idea! Also, during another "conversation" yesterday, he seemed to say that the idea of permanently leaving intercourse off the table and just focusing on other sexual activities could be an option for us. I have no idea why it's taken him this long to finally listen to my pleas to not have to do intercourse, but, hey, at least it's a step in the right direction.

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Kathy100 on Sun Feb 24, 2013 4:17 pm

Hi, thanks for your reply & update. That sounds really positive that your husband is going to the sex therapist and like you say a real step in the right direction. Maybe its only now after seeing your dr last month, he is coming to terms with reality of what V really is and understanding more the horrible pain that you have been going through (mentally & physically)....and realising its not all about him. I hope it goes well and wish you all the luck in the world. I know what you mean about everyone including yourself not seeing it as a pain problem, one of my doctors said I should just relax & get on with it. Another gave me antibiotics / paracetamol to take in case there was any pain! Unfortunately I think it's very difficult for someone who doesn't have to realise how painful & upsetting it is. This forum has been brilliant for me & now I'm seeing a pain specialist & am about to start physio next week after 10 years of thinking I was a freak & it was "just me".

Good luck xx

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  meelie on Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:39 pm

Okay, not trying to be a bitch but what can a sex therapist tell you? I mean if intercourse hurts then it hurts, what can he/she tell you except how to please him. i just feel so cheated. I know how to please my husband but I want intercourse with him. We've been married for 46 yrs so I think we know about petting and stuff like that but what can a sex therapist help you with with painful intercourse? I hope I don't sound too bitchy or stupid but it just hit me. Laughing

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  Applejax on Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:44 pm

That's pretty much what I've always thought, too. Which is why I had never before considered going to one - even when our marriage counselor had suggested it. I decided to meet with her after the specialist recommended it. It's alot different than what I had envisioned, but maybe it's because she is actually a psychologist who specialized in sexual dysfunction. I think she will be able to help us both with the psychological impact this has had. As well as helping us (hopefully him) realize that we could have a much better sex life if we would leave out the painful part (intercourse). It's still a wait and see as to how much it will really help. Question

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  meelie on Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:49 am

Please do keep us informed. I really would like to know, not trying to learn from your dollar, I just would like to know. Good luck and keep posting. Are you taking any medications?

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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

Post  carby148 on Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:07 am

meelie wrote:Okay, not trying to be a bitch but what can a sex therapist tell you? I mean if intercourse hurts then it hurts, what can he/she tell you except how to please him. i just feel so cheated. I know how to please my husband but I want intercourse with him. We've been married for 46 yrs so I think we know about petting and stuff like that but what can a sex therapist help you with with painful intercourse? I hope I don't sound too bitchy or stupid but it just hit me. Laughing

I would expect a sex therapist would be able to provide adequate and proper emotional support for sexual dysfunction. I'd feel better about going to a sex therapist than a regular therapist about vulvydonia.

Although vulvydonia is a physical condition better treated by a medical doctor, it also just so happens to be a condition that takes extreme emotional tolls on those who experience it. I'd say seeing a sex therapist is a great idea.
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Re: This is ruining my marriage!

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