Log in

I forgot my password

Latest topics
» What's next?
Tue Apr 24, 2018 4:01 pm by jennyk2

» Pain management - what works for me
Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:41 pm by Jo44

» Share your Vulvodynia Story and become a member of the Global Anthology!
Mon Apr 23, 2018 10:44 pm by smyerskelley

» If it helps anyone else
Mon Apr 23, 2018 6:36 pm by VH7797

» Cured, cyst in foot
Mon Apr 23, 2018 4:06 pm by Guest

» HELP!! Topical cream?
Sun Apr 22, 2018 5:44 pm by emalita

» The pain CAN get better - What's worked for me
Sun Apr 22, 2018 5:32 pm by emalita

» Custom made leggings?
Sun Apr 22, 2018 4:52 am by CatJones

» Please tell me this can get better
Sun Apr 15, 2018 11:31 am by amf329

I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?

Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:17 pm by Tunes25

Hello!

I am a 25 year old woman and wanted to share my story here as I feel frustrated by the suggestions of my gyno and am hoping for some advice.

To give the context for this: in September 2016 I moved in with my long term boyfriend after living abroad a year and (nearly) abstaining from sex. Within a few weeks I had got a yeast infection which I treated myself successfully, but then 2 weeks …

Comments: 4

I cured myself 100% of vulvodynia twenty years ago--I hope this helps someone

Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:33 pm by totallycured

Hi,

Every so often I'm reminded of the constant, persistent, horrible pain I was in two decades ago, and I reach out to try to help others who are suffering. If someone had offered me a solution during that terrible time, I'd have jumped at it. I hope this helps someone.

Yes, I did have terrible vulvodynia. It felt like someone poured acid all over my vulva. My doctor confirmed it and was …

Comments: 3

Hi Im from Australia :)

Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:08 am by emma

Hi girls... I live in Australia.
I am currently undergoing a new treatment for vulvodynia. Just wondering if anyone else here has tried it. It's Endep in the form of cream to apply directly on the area. I dont know if anyone else has tried this but so far evidently it has had a 50% success rate.
Anyway i feel at a loss. This new treatment is exciting but at the same time i just dont feel like …

Comments: 35

Somebody please help me...

Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:05 am by Andlag

Hey everyone,

since I started being sexually active i often experienced burning in my vagina which was often worse during sex /around the time of my period or when using lubricants. I was never able to use tampons because the one time i tried putting them in it felt like acid was poured on my skin. Fast forward to 2 months ago when I got a UTI and an allergic reaction in my vagina. I thought it …

Comments: 14

Lidocaine with condoms?

Wed Mar 21, 2018 10:44 pm by AEM1

Hi everyone! My doctor just prescribed me a topical lidocaine to administer before sex, but I forgot to ask if it is okay to use with condoms. Has anyone else used this before and know it is safe to use with condoms? Thanks! Very Happy
Unrelated, but I just started Lyrica a few weeks ago...no changes yet, but I'm hopeful something will come out of it. 3 years with vulvodynia and unable to have sex …

Comments: 1

Constant pain, I want to die.

Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:29 am by Meggiemay

I posted on here a few years ago but my symptoms went away with the inflammation. I didn't get so lucky this time.

For over three months, i've had terrible rawness, burning, soreness in the urethral/vestibule area and pressure/hypersensitivity in the clitoral area. I've also had some lower abdominal pressure and burning on my butt. I can barely walk! My gyno hasn't been much help. I'm on …

Comments: 23

Recently Diagnosed which has motivated my research study

Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:54 pm by ebclose2free

Hi everyone,

My name is Eliza Barach and I was diagnosed with vulvodynia in October of 2017. I'm also PhD student at the State University of New York at Albany. I work several professors at SUNY, but one in particular, Dr. Mitch Earleywine researches marijuana and its possible efficacy as an alternative treatment. Our previous examined cannabis and symptoms of PMS/PMDD and found that women …

Comments: 0

MAY HAVE FOUND A CURE- PLEASE READ

Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:04 pm by infinitelywondering

Dear all,

Today has been the day I've been waiting for. The day something FINALLY makes sense.
I've been told countless times that I've got nerve damage or a muscular condition, yet none of the specific treatments have helped me. My GP suggested attacking this from a different angle so referred me to a dermatologist specialist


after having a vestibulectomy with no success, I decided to visit …

Comments: 3

New and desperate for advice

Sat Mar 03, 2018 2:37 pm by srbry

Hi everyone,

I'm new here and was told to find a support group because this is all getting a bit much really...

I lost my virginity when I was 18 and it hurt - that was normal. Loads of women had told me that it hurt so that was fine I didn't question that. I was with the same guy for a couple of months and each time after that it was uncomfortable and not great. I didn't tell him because I …

Comments: 3


Are there marriages that have survived this?

Go down

Are there marriages that have survived this?

Post  Cat_in_Canada on Sat Jul 20, 2013 4:59 am

Hello,

I'm new to the site and want to share my story with people that might understand. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed. I'm almost 30 and I am still a virgin. As far as I'm aware, I've had vulvodynia and vaginismus my whole life, although I wasn't diagnosed until I was about 25. I've never been able to even wear tampons or have a pelvic exam. I was examined once, by the doctor that diagnosed me, but I had to be given a general anaesthetic.

I have the most amazing fiance (I was so shocked when he proposed, I figured it was only a matter of time before he left me), but sometimes I feel like I'm taking advantage of his good nature. We started dating before I was even diagnosed, but I knew something was wrong with me and I sometimes feel that I tricked him into falling in love with me. Is our marriage doomed? Are there marriages that have survived this? I'm still trying to get better: I'm on drugs, see a psychiatrist, a physiotherapist, and a gynecologist, I sometimes I get quite hopeless that I will ever get better.

Thank you for reading my post. I'm too afraid to tell any friends or family about my vulvodynia/vaginismus, the only people that know aside from my fiance are medical professionals. We have a lot of mutual friends, and I worry that if his family or friends found out the truth about me they would hate me and lose respect for him.

Cat

Cat_in_Canada

Posts : 4
Join date : 2013-07-20

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Are there marriages that have survived this?

Post  Alana3 on Sat Jul 20, 2013 11:57 am

Uh I don't know why someone would hate you for something you can't control. It's like having cancer, being diabetic or something. Its nothing you can help. I will tell you all my friends have been very supportive and my family too- my mom went to doctor to doctor with me until I got "cured". You dont have to tell anyone but if they lose respect for you or blame you are those really the people you want in life? As frustrating as it is there are treatments that can help you- I'm perfectly fine now I had surgery back in December and can do anything I want. So finding the right doctor is very helpful. I googled vulvodynia specialists and found my doctor. Another thing to remember is relationships are not all about sex and there are other things you can try to have sex. Have you tried any treatment?

Alana3

Posts : 1090
Join date : 2012-09-25

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Are there marriages that have survived this?

Post  Sarah001 on Sat Jul 20, 2013 12:23 pm

To be honest I think the fact he has proposed knowing the situation as opposed to the problem starting after a "normal" sex life had already been happening gives your marriage a very good chance of surviving. If a lack of sex was bothering him he surely wouldn't propose would he? It's different when it appears after a normal sex life because it changes the dynamics but as he's fully aware of the situation and it hasn't put him off he sounds like a keeper to me! My partner left me because of all my health problems including the V because he "couldn't have a normal life" with me but we'd had 6 years of me being fine before my connective tissue disorder became symptomatic and the V arrived during the last 6 months we were together so the lack of a normal sex life was kind of the final nail in the coffin of my relationship but in your case your fiance is going into this with his eyes wide open so your marriage has as good a chance of anyones of making it. Good luck with all the things you're trying and I hope they help you.
avatar
Sarah001

Posts : 1164
Join date : 2010-06-11
Age : 44
Location : UK

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Are there marriages that have survived this?

Post  Elc88 on Sat Jul 20, 2013 1:56 pm

My boyfriend and I had been together for 6 months when my vulvodynia reared it's ugly head. We've now been together for 4.5 years, and while this vulvodynia has hindered our relationship, it's not ended it. I completely sympathise with you - my boyfriend and I have been together long enough that I feel we could take that next step and get married, and it's raising all sorts of questions like yours.

At the end of the day, your fiance proposed knowing the full situation, your relationship has survived this whole time with him knowing this from the out-set, and knowing that it's a long term affliction. I suppose you need to ask your fiance if he is prepared to accept the fact you might never get better, and that it means there is a chance you might never have kids together (although I really hope that this will never happen). If he can accept that, then he is going in with his eyes completely open, and it will take some of the pressure off of you. It also means that when you do finally get over this, it will be all the more special, and at your own pace!

Elc88

Posts : 55
Join date : 2013-07-20

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Are there marriages that have survived this?

Post  BpCookie on Wed Jul 24, 2013 2:43 pm

Ive been married for almost 14 yrs, Ive had this Burning Bush thing for over 2 yrs. Our sex life has dwindle down to about once every two weeks. My hubby is understanding, supportive, loving and helps me in any way that he can. I am a very lucky person. So relationships can last a life time. Your partner needs to be willing to work with you, learn what Vuvodynia is and be supportive.
avatar
BpCookie

Posts : 209
Join date : 2012-01-25
Location : Arizona

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Are there marriages that have survived this?

Post  Cat_in_Canada on Sat Jul 27, 2013 4:16 am

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support! I met with a new physiotherapist last week and am now feeling cautiously optimistic. Its nice to hear that other relationships have been able to deal with vulvodynia. I'm sorry to hear about your partner leaving you, Sarah001. That must have been very difficult. I'm know I'm really lucky that my fiance seems to be relatively satisfied with our sex life, even though intercourse is off the table.

Thank you again! :-)

Cat

Cat_in_Canada

Posts : 4
Join date : 2013-07-20

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Are there marriages that have survived this?

Post  iheartcereal on Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:26 am

cat_in_canada - As I was reading your story, I thought I was reading my own! I am 32 and believe that I have been suffering from the same things all my life, without having a clue. I was never able to wear tampons and didn't have my first pelvic exam until I was 24 or 25 and it was one of the most horrible experience of my life. Unlike you, my doctor did NOT diagnose me and I endured several more years of horrific pelvic exams. - just thinking that it was supposed to be this way because I was a virgin. It wasn't until I developed an unidentified itching almost 5 years ago that she finally suggested that I see a specialist. Since then, I have seen many doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, used dilators, taken medication, and am on my second round of PT.

I have been married for almost 6 years, and with my husband for 8. I was 26 and a virgin when we married and did not have actual sex for the first time until I was 30. Because I did not receive a correct diagnosis from the get go, I waited far too long to rectify the situation (I thought there was something mentally wrong with me and didn't realize vulvadynia even existed) and I will admit, it has been hard on our marriage. Round one of physical therapy combined with anti anxiety medication is what allowed me to have sex for the first time. However, sex was never pain-free and after I finished PT and weaned off my meds, things seemed to worsen and I can no longer stand to have penetration. Now my doctors think I have some neurological issues along with pelvic floor dysfunction, so I am back in PT and am on some new meds.

When we married, my husband didn't know exactly what he was getting into, but he has mostly been supportive throughout. After things started to decline after round one of PT, I took it very hard and lost a lot of hope of ever getting better. That has negatively affected my mood and sexual interest, which has been really hard for my husband to understand and cope with. We are currently trying to work through things, and I think we will in time. My advice would be to keep the lines of communication as open as possible and never lose hope. Like you, I feel so embarrassed and ashamed and find it difficult to talk about my condition even with my husband! I just want to be a normal wife and it's so frustrating that I don't feel that way. Only he and my health care professionals know that I have vulvadynia and I am also afraid to tell my friends. It's not that I think they would hate me, but I'm afraid they wouldn't understand and may be callous to my suffering, which would only make me feel worse. That's why I find these message boards so helpful! If your fiance proposed knowing all of this about you, then I think you've found a keeper! Also, my husband really wants kids and I thought it was impossible with my condition, but as I do more research, I am finding that it IS possible to have children and live with vulvadynia.

Sorry for my long post!

iheartcereal

Posts : 4
Join date : 2013-07-16

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Are there marriages that have survived this?

Post  Cat_in_Canada on Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:04 am

Thank you for sharing your story. It is nice to know that I'm not alone :-)

Cat_in_Canada

Posts : 4
Join date : 2013-07-20

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Are there marriages that have survived this?

Post  Sebby (Admin) on Thu Aug 29, 2013 4:16 pm

Just wanted to say that my now husband proposed knowing all about the V and we are celebrating our 1st wedding anniversary in a couple of months Smile I have also been to one wedding of a friend I met on here and have just been to a hen night of another friend I met on here! All fiances proposed knowing the full extent on their V.
I still get flare ups and struggle wiv intercourse but we are working thro it together. Keep strong and as positive as possible, I know it's hard but take one step at a time x
avatar
Sebby (Admin)
Admin

Posts : 750
Join date : 2009-12-03
Age : 37
Location : London UK

View user profile http://vulvodyniasupport.forumotion.net

Back to top Go down

Re: Are there marriages that have survived this?

Post  mary jane on Sat Oct 26, 2013 5:21 pm

congratulations, sebby !
avatar
mary jane

Posts : 328
Join date : 2013-10-05
Location : UK

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Are there marriages that have survived this?

Post  Mark on Fri Nov 15, 2013 11:32 pm

My wife and I married this year having lived together for more than a year. She told me about her condition the moment I asked her out, so I've always known what I was getting into. TBH we have the best sex life I've ever known because we don't have vaginal sex. This may sound like a strange thing for a man to say, but IMO it's the least satisfactory type of lovemaking from a male perspective because of the ever-present fear of climaxing too soon and ruining the fun or trying to delay things so much that I might lose my erection and seem not to be turned on. I can see that marrying a woman who later develops vulvodynia might cause a man to have to change his expectations about sex, which some might find difficult. But anyone who marries a woman knowing she has the condition surely loves her for who she is and is committed to helping her have a happy life.

Mark

Posts : 50
Join date : 2011-03-28

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Are there marriages that have survived this?

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum