:'( rock bottom

Well, lucky I see a new doctor in 2 days.

These past few days I have been IN PAIN.

So, I didn't get my period for 68 days last time round. It was hell when I finally got them.

I am 21 days since my last period and over the past 3 days I have been expiriencing chronic pain on my right ovary area, as well as come-and-go widespread period-like cramps. I have had a HUGE excessive amount of clear slimy (like rhe slime toys kids play with) sticky discharge coming out of me. I can't go to the loo without big clumps of it coming out of me. I feel like this discharge burns my skin....maybe it is just a coincidence that my burning skin is just flared up by everything else?


My boobs are extremely sore....even showering is hurting when the water hits my chest. I am also getting pain in my lower back.

One would say this is normal ovulation but I really don't believe it is, not to this extent.

Knowing my luck, it will all have cleared up by the time I see the doctor

I broke down and cried and cried in the shower. I am so scared this new doctor won't have a clue. And I am scared I will be in too much pain to work....my boss has already threatened to fire me over the ordeal having so much time off being ill. Very scary when I have a mortgage to pay and expensive doctors bills.

I am in a state of mind that I am going to be stuck like this forever. My relationship with my husband is deteriorating, with both of us only being in our 20's, we have so much life left to live. My husband deserves a wife he can have sex with and enjoy life with, one that can willingly give him a child. He deserves so much better than the bullshit I have given him for the past year and a half. He has been very supportive but I feel so guilty. I think about separating from him for his own good, so he can find someone "normal", he is such an amazing man and I feel like such a burden. I don't want to be the one who drags him down from living a happy life. :'(

It has gotten to the point where I have told my mum and my husband that I wish I was dead. I'm on antidepressants but they have done f*ck all except make me more nauseated and vomit more than I already do.

This is not how I imagined my life to be. I just keep asking myself what the f*ck have I done to deserve this.

Sorry about the self-pity party. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know who I am anymore. I hate what this thing has turned me into

Ok lets start with you. . Can you get a sample of this discharge and take a photo of it. I know sounds yuk but I feel it would help to show the doctor. Do you live near an A and E department ? If I were you I would go while you are the way you are right now. Its time to get help lean on emergency room staff. The pain is not normal and you need answers immediately. If you were my daughter I would take you up to an A and E as you are atm.
As for your husband forget all that bullshit talk how he deserves someone better. During your life together he will need you for something and you will be there. You need to put you first...I mean you have to come first right now in this present moment. Forget all your other negative thoughts cause thats all they are and you are thinking that way because your not well. I wish I lived near you I would come and get you to emergency because sometimes thats what it takes. You sound like a strong women but now its time to lean on help. You will get help and you wont be like it forever. I drove myself to an after hours clinic at 1 in the morning. Get help asap please. Don't keep waiting its your body you have to love it and take the best action for it and it may take your rock bottom t lo insist on help. How far is your public hospital away ?

Also don't be frightened to use A and E departments for pain there free and sometimes they do all the tests and keep you in overnight. I am not being dramatic im just saying its your body and you know its not right.