Thanks for this forum - I am desperate.

[kell]

Hi, I'm 60 and have had painful sex for several years - its to the point where we don't even have sex...  and that sucks. Plus I understand that not 'using it'  means I am 'losing it'...  which also sucks.

I'm worried for my marriage - and I really want to have decent sex again - (decent is fine, wouldn't I love Hugely Satisfying Orgasmic Sex again - yes, but right now just fairly pain-free is fine).  I hope to hear of some interesting and helpful things from you ladies.

Basically,it appears to me my most painful part is right at the opening of the vagina - once we blast through that it doesn't "seem" like the rest of the way is that painful, but the pain from the opening is so constant during the event that it is hard to tell and very, very hard to concentrate on anything pleasurable.  It's awful.  I love my husband so much and he loves me but this is starting to create a wall between us.  Sad and depressing - never felt old in my life but now I do.

In the past I've used Replens, Astroglide, KY and Estring.... Estring was starting to work fairly well but then I had two incidences where it attached itself to my cervix -- the last time I could NOT get it out and the dear husband had to GET IT.  Tell me that wasn't horrible and embarrassing.  So not fair.  So I was done with that.

I just ordered Carlson's Key-E capsules and some YES lubricant in hopes to get things going again... I hope it's not too late.  I was also thinking of rubbing some organic coconut oil on the opening area til the products arrive.  Has anyone tried these things??

I have also gotten a compounded estrogen prescription with some progesterone pills, I believe - but balked when she said it was like $150 for the script!! (over $300 without the insurance! HIghway robbery!!) so i didn't try that. I left so discouraged.

Anyway, that's pretty much it.  I'm glad to have at least found a place where I can see others have similar situations, and that actually helps a little.

[PainBlogger]

I've been using Yes lubricant for my physio exercises. I've not had any irritation from it. I did try coconut oil and it stung a bit but that was a while ago when my symptoms were worse, so maybe it would be ok now. Whatever you try, try on a small area first and wait to check for any bad reaction before using more.

Trying to continue despite the pain can cause the pelvic floor muscles to tighten up and in turn exacerbate the pain. Do you have access to a physiotherapist/PT specialising in pelvic pain that your doctor could refer you to?

[kell]

Thanks PainBlogger for your response! I don't know about the physiotherapist - I've never even heard of it in reference to this so maybe it will be something I'll check out. It's so weird, I've suffered with this for so long, tried some things w/ varying success - yet I'd go online and find very little real or helpful information on anything!

Today I just got immersed in it all (found the terms vestibule, vulvodynia etc. for first time) - and was looking specifically for a current, used forum where women discussed this - so happy to have found this one.

[emalita]

I've used YES lubricant and coconut oil in the past. Unfortunately I've had a reaction to both (e.g. stinging, burning, etc.). However, prior to this whole mess starting for me, I had used both with no pain. My skin is extremely sensitive and it tends to react to mostly everything nowadays.

If your issue is more pain and less skin sensitivity, then I think you will be fine with either. I personally think coconut oil would be more gentle simply because the YES waterbased lubricant has citric acid in it, but when I was able to have sex a LONG time ago, coconut oil was a no no because my fiancé and I used condoms.

I absolutely agree with PainBlogger. Do some research on pelvic floor physical therapy, and see if that sounds like it may help your issue.

Good luck!

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