Log in

I forgot my password

Latest topics
» Honey decreased my pain considerably!
Yesterday at 12:53 pm by mhhh

» Birth control pills can cause vestibulitis
Yesterday at 1:15 am by MDias

» Gabapentin gel and pregnancy
Sat Jul 14, 2018 4:15 pm by Georgie 121212

» From a concerned husband
Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:02 pm by emalita

» I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?
Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:58 pm by Gaby

» Hi girls! New in this forum
Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:31 pm by Gaby

» Newbie and feeling helpless
Thu Jul 12, 2018 6:35 pm by emalita

» Using dilators
Tue Jul 10, 2018 12:27 am by srbry

» Hello. In Need of Advice, Please and Thank You. Long Read.
Sun Jul 08, 2018 3:58 am by cg1991

From a concerned husband

Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:45 pm by ConcernedYorkieHubby

Hello everyone,

This is probably a little unconventional, but I’m a man who is here because his wife has been diagnosed with vulvodynia. The poor girl has been suffering with vulva pain for around 10 years now, and I’ve been by her side through the pain and tears and doctors misunderstandings the whole way, and we’re both exhausted and terrified by the whole experience.

I’m sure a lot …

Comments: 1

I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?

Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:17 pm by Tunes25


I am a 25 year old woman and wanted to share my story here as I feel frustrated by the suggestions of my gyno and am hoping for some advice.

To give the context for this: in September 2016 I moved in with my long term boyfriend after living abroad a year and (nearly) abstaining from sex. Within a few weeks I had got a yeast infection which I treated myself successfully, but then 2 weeks …

Comments: 9

Hi girls! New in this forum

Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:31 pm by Gaby

Hi everyone!

Also joining the V club, Here my story:

It all started last year in september with a very bad throat infection for which i had to take antibiotics for about a month. This cause several yeast infections (candidia albicans).... one after the other!. I had them every month from october 2017 till march 2018. During this period i use an incredible amount of anti-fungal creams and …

Comments: 0

Newbie and feeling helpless

Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:52 pm by Taylor1

Hi, I found out a few weeks ago that I have this condition, started off at the end of April as a uti took strong antibiotics then got a thrush infection and now this.. My doctor has tried me on amitriptyline and gabipentin and both made me so poorly I couldn't take it plus I have seen what long use of these drugs has done to my mom for pain and its not good. I am using coconut oil which does …

Comments: 1

I'm new to this forum and would love some advice! :)

Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:13 am by anikita

Hi lovely gals!

I'm honestly hoping to get any bit of advice anyone might have to offer. I go from bouts of sobbing hysterically in my boyfriend's arms to feeling confident that I can beat this.

I haven't been actually diagnosed with vulvodynia but EVERYTHING under the sun has come back negative. I started having sex 4 years ago after starting Lo Loestrin, with my first and current boyfriend …

Comments: 5

Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams

Thu May 10, 2018 9:43 am by Rosie21

Hi I have been suffering for some years with this abominable pain. I have tried most of the systemic drugs , I asked specialists and Doctors if I could at least try a topical treatment but because this requires a special prescription have been refused Has anybody had a chance of trying these? Thank you I will try to put a link on to some of the research into Gabapentin Gel. Thanks.

Comments: 1

What has been helping ME (much less pain over time!!)

Wed May 16, 2018 3:43 am by leoscc

Hello everyone! I vanished for quite some time as my life became consumed by not only this but other daily responsibilities as well. Shortly after my diagnosis, my boyfriend f 3 years left me as he did not want to deal with this. It left me broken for a while but also gave me time to figure out what the heck was going on. So, I will write out a quick list of my symptoms and what helped me.

1. I …

Comments: 0

I cured myself 100% of vulvodynia twenty years ago--I hope this helps someone

Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:33 pm by totallycured


Every so often I'm reminded of the constant, persistent, horrible pain I was in two decades ago, and I reach out to try to help others who are suffering. If someone had offered me a solution during that terrible time, I'd have jumped at it. I hope this helps someone.

Yes, I did have terrible vulvodynia. It felt like someone poured acid all over my vulva. My doctor confirmed it and was …

Comments: 4

Condoms Less Painful?

Mon May 07, 2018 3:35 am by stillinpain

I'm just curious, has anyone found using condoms to be less abrasive to the skin than without? I just got off birth control and haven't stretched myself out enough post surgery to try sex yet, but when I do I am wondering how trying it with condoms with affect the sensation. I feel like for me the skin to skin sensation creates pain, not just at my entrance but internally, too, since I also have …

Comments: 0

Diagnosed and Humiliated

Go down

Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  Valkywrite on Thu Sep 15, 2016 4:19 pm

When I was with my boyfriend a few months ago, we decided to eventually try to have sex (both virgins, believe it or not). I'm 25, and it was my first attempt (grew up in a super religious family--I've been gradually moving away from that), so I decided to go to a gynecologist to get a check up and get on birth control.

I've never found tampons comfortable or possible to wear, so I've always stuck to pads. I thought this had something to do with me being a virgin, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that my first sexual experience would probably require me to be under the influence of something to relax me.

Instinct led me to investigate, I guess.

The first time the boyfriend got intimate with me (fingerplay), it was ecstasy, but I was also in extreme pain. I thought it was just because I wasn't used to anything like...that. I'm a good actress, though so I just endured it.

I decided to go to the gynecologist after that, and they couldn't use a speculum or really perform a pelvic exam--it felt like acid was being poured on a certain spot on my vagina anytime they tried to get something to enter, and getting anything entered was also difficult. They managed to perform a pap smear with a needle. That was a trip and a half.

They eventually gave me lidocaine and birth control--said that I needed to practice entering things like dildos and to use the lidocaine to dull the specific spot (near the perineum or base). I basically screamed anytime they touched that area. They finally diagnosed me with vulvodynia and possibly vaginismus. Thankfully, the pain is very localized, so if worse comes to worse--surgery.
The birth control, unfortunately, made me ill (I started having panic attacks from increased anxiety as a result of the birth control) and the doctor said it was because my liver couldn't handle the artificial hormone. It was bad, but it wasn't terrible--the only thing I requested of my boyfriend during this time was for him to call me every day. I've heard of much worse issues and I was hiding my mood swings and anxiety attacks fairly well, comparatively (compared to other women I've known who had this problem).

I tried discussing these issues with my boyfriend, but in the end, he said this (the vulvodynia and the birth control problems) made him lose some attraction to me, and we split under the pretense of him simply needing to complete nursing school before getting into a relationship (oh the irony).

Honestly, I've never been more humiliated and upset in my life. I was being the honest and upfront adult...and instead of being supportive, he turned into an absolute child.

He wants to eventually reconcile and try dating again, but honestly, I expressed medical concerns in a way that I thought would ease his anxieties, and he was unbelievably immature about it. Not sure if I want to put myself through that again.

I loved him, love him still, but the fact that he said, "You became unattractive to me when you got ill" --this coming from a nursing student--was unconscionable.

So, for now, I am still dating around, but clearly, sex isn't really an option right now. I'm hoping to find some solace in these forums, hopefully on the road to recovery. I've bought a dilator kit, a journal kit for recording the issues...and honestly, I'm hoping things will look up so I can eventually have sex and have sex without pain too.

That would be nice.


Posts : 3
Join date : 2016-09-15
Age : 27
Location : Mississippi

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  emalita on Thu Sep 15, 2016 11:16 pm

Hi Valkywrite,

Being honest was absolutely the right choice, and I'm sorry that he reacted in the way he did. Just know that's HIS insecurity and selfishness and does not reflect on you. You deserve to be loved through the good times and the bad.

Have you thought about seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist? You may have better results that way than using dialators on your own without guidance.


Posts : 224
Join date : 2016-03-29
Location : USA

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  Valkywrite on Fri Sep 16, 2016 5:53 pm

If I knew where to find a pelvic floor physical therapist, I probably would. I live in an area where "sex is sinful and gynos--or anything in relation to them--are sinful" therefore, finding one in-state is going be extremely difficult. I'll try the dilators first and if they don't or if I feel that I'm not making progress, I will definitely search out of state if necessary because getting on top of this is a priority goal.


Posts : 3
Join date : 2016-09-15
Age : 27
Location : Mississippi

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  emalita on Fri Sep 16, 2016 7:17 pm

I did a quick search on google for pelvic floor physical therapists in Mississippi, and I was able to find a few right away. So they are available in your state.

Good luck with the dialators!


Posts : 224
Join date : 2016-03-29
Location : USA

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  lindsey_taylor on Tue Sep 20, 2016 12:20 am

You have every right to be upset. I am a nurse and if he is wanting to be a nurse himself, I would advise that he try to be more understanding and sympathetic. He reacted childishly and without compassion. Please do not believe this says anything about you. I do hope you start to feel better soon.


Posts : 57
Join date : 2016-06-06
Age : 32
Location : Georgia, United States

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  Sponsored content

Sponsored content

Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum