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» Had this for 5 years, looking for people who understand
Sun Nov 18, 2018 11:22 pm by srbry

» IMPORTANT FOR UK SUFFERERS
Sun Nov 18, 2018 8:42 pm by srbry

» Found relief after more than 15 years of pain!
Thu Oct 25, 2018 4:29 pm by AlwaysInPain

» Back pain, burning feet and vulvodynia....all related?
Sat Oct 20, 2018 3:50 am by lindsey_taylor

» Anyone have pain with urination?
Thu Oct 18, 2018 9:55 am by Gaby

» New member - just looking for feedback
Mon Oct 15, 2018 5:40 pm by mertzwl

» Will I ever be able to wear jeans?
Sun Oct 14, 2018 4:14 pm by Npage14

» Amitriptyline Success and new-found love
Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:29 pm by megaanx

» Diagnosed recently, looking for advice
Wed Oct 10, 2018 2:30 pm by wuhujen

Had this for 5 years, looking for people who understand

Sat Oct 06, 2018 9:46 pm by blackberrie

Hey all. I'm really struggling to find anyone in real life who can really understand what I'm going through. I've had vestibulodynia for 5 years now and I'm single. Obviously it has completely affected how I approach dating and sex and the fact that I can't really talk to people irl about it has made me feel very lonely. I've found that a lot of the women who have this problem are married and …

Comments: 3

Anyone have pain with urination?

Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:35 pm by mertzwl

Hi everyone - I can't believe I've been dealing with this for almost 10 years and an appointment scheduler at a urogyn office is the one to suggest I look into vulvodynia. Honestly, I don't care, I just thankful I might have an answer.

I have pain in one specific spot right around the urethral opening so it always coincides with urinating (it's not a uti). Does anyone else deal with pain …

Comments: 6

Diagnosed recently, looking for advice

Sun Sep 02, 2018 12:51 am by Cloudberry

Hi everyone,

I'm so glad I found this forum! I was diagnosed with vulvodynia/vulvar vestibulitis (still not sure about the difference between all the different terms) a couple of months ago and I could do with some advice. This is probably going to be a lot of text because I just want to get everything off my chest, so please bear with me.

I’m a woman in my late 20s. Before getting diagnosed …

Comments: 4

From a concerned husband

Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:45 pm by ConcernedYorkieHubby

Hello everyone,

This is probably a little unconventional, but I’m a man who is here because his wife has been diagnosed with vulvodynia. The poor girl has been suffering with vulva pain for around 10 years now, and I’ve been by her side through the pain and tears and doctors misunderstandings the whole way, and we’re both exhausted and terrified by the whole experience.

I’m sure a lot …

Comments: 4

6 year sufferer but I’ve found some hope

Wed Oct 10, 2018 1:33 am by Npage14

Hey, ladies! I’m new to this support group, I’ve thought about doing something like this for a while so I wanted to try this out! I’ve had vulvodynia for 6 years now, I am self diagnosed. I’m 20 now and the pain started when I had my first encounter with sexual contact when I was 14(I still remained a virgin though it was fingering). For a couple years the pain was so bad I could hardly …

Comments: 0

Hurting, Burning, Itching, and Worn Out

Thu Aug 09, 2018 10:55 pm by donnambr

This vulvodynia that I'm currently suffering with is so cruel. I hurt, I burn, I itch. When I first got this several years ago, before the internet, I though I was the only one with this awful disorder. Doctors couldn't figure it out. I felt so alone and devastated. Somehow it disappeared for a few years and now I'm suffering again. This dreaded V misery is back and I feel like I will be with …

Comments: 5

Hi girls! New in this forum

Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:31 pm by Gaby

Hi everyone!

Also joining the V club, Here my story:

It all started last year in september with a very bad throat infection for which i had to take antibiotics for about a month. This cause several yeast infections (candidia albicans).... one after the other!. I had them every month from october 2017 till march 2018. During this period i use an incredible amount of anti-fungal creams and …

Comments: 1

Newbie and feeling helpless

Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:52 pm by Taylor1

Hi, I found out a few weeks ago that I have this condition, started off at the end of April as a uti took strong antibiotics then got a thrush infection and now this.. My doctor has tried me on amitriptyline and gabipentin and both made me so poorly I couldn't take it plus I have seen what long use of these drugs has done to my mom for pain and its not good. I am using coconut oil which does …

Comments: 3

I'm new to this forum and would love some advice! :)

Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:13 am by anikita

Hi lovely gals!

I'm honestly hoping to get any bit of advice anyone might have to offer. I go from bouts of sobbing hysterically in my boyfriend's arms to feeling confident that I can beat this.

I haven't been actually diagnosed with vulvodynia but EVERYTHING under the sun has come back negative. I started having sex 4 years ago after starting Lo Loestrin, with my first and current boyfriend …

Comments: 6


Diagnosed and Humiliated

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Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  Valkywrite on Thu Sep 15, 2016 4:19 pm

When I was with my boyfriend a few months ago, we decided to eventually try to have sex (both virgins, believe it or not). I'm 25, and it was my first attempt (grew up in a super religious family--I've been gradually moving away from that), so I decided to go to a gynecologist to get a check up and get on birth control.

I've never found tampons comfortable or possible to wear, so I've always stuck to pads. I thought this had something to do with me being a virgin, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that my first sexual experience would probably require me to be under the influence of something to relax me.

Instinct led me to investigate, I guess.

The first time the boyfriend got intimate with me (fingerplay), it was ecstasy, but I was also in extreme pain. I thought it was just because I wasn't used to anything like...that. I'm a good actress, though so I just endured it.

I decided to go to the gynecologist after that, and they couldn't use a speculum or really perform a pelvic exam--it felt like acid was being poured on a certain spot on my vagina anytime they tried to get something to enter, and getting anything entered was also difficult. They managed to perform a pap smear with a needle. That was a trip and a half.

They eventually gave me lidocaine and birth control--said that I needed to practice entering things like dildos and to use the lidocaine to dull the specific spot (near the perineum or base). I basically screamed anytime they touched that area. They finally diagnosed me with vulvodynia and possibly vaginismus. Thankfully, the pain is very localized, so if worse comes to worse--surgery.
The birth control, unfortunately, made me ill (I started having panic attacks from increased anxiety as a result of the birth control) and the doctor said it was because my liver couldn't handle the artificial hormone. It was bad, but it wasn't terrible--the only thing I requested of my boyfriend during this time was for him to call me every day. I've heard of much worse issues and I was hiding my mood swings and anxiety attacks fairly well, comparatively (compared to other women I've known who had this problem).

I tried discussing these issues with my boyfriend, but in the end, he said this (the vulvodynia and the birth control problems) made him lose some attraction to me, and we split under the pretense of him simply needing to complete nursing school before getting into a relationship (oh the irony).

Honestly, I've never been more humiliated and upset in my life. I was being the honest and upfront adult...and instead of being supportive, he turned into an absolute child.

He wants to eventually reconcile and try dating again, but honestly, I expressed medical concerns in a way that I thought would ease his anxieties, and he was unbelievably immature about it. Not sure if I want to put myself through that again.

I loved him, love him still, but the fact that he said, "You became unattractive to me when you got ill" --this coming from a nursing student--was unconscionable.

So, for now, I am still dating around, but clearly, sex isn't really an option right now. I'm hoping to find some solace in these forums, hopefully on the road to recovery. I've bought a dilator kit, a journal kit for recording the issues...and honestly, I'm hoping things will look up so I can eventually have sex and have sex without pain too.

That would be nice.

Valkywrite

Posts : 3
Join date : 2016-09-15
Age : 28
Location : Mississippi

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Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  emalita on Thu Sep 15, 2016 11:16 pm

Hi Valkywrite,

Being honest was absolutely the right choice, and I'm sorry that he reacted in the way he did. Just know that's HIS insecurity and selfishness and does not reflect on you. You deserve to be loved through the good times and the bad.

Have you thought about seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist? You may have better results that way than using dialators on your own without guidance.

emalita

Posts : 245
Join date : 2016-03-29
Location : USA

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Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  Valkywrite on Fri Sep 16, 2016 5:53 pm

If I knew where to find a pelvic floor physical therapist, I probably would. I live in an area where "sex is sinful and gynos--or anything in relation to them--are sinful" therefore, finding one in-state is going be extremely difficult. I'll try the dilators first and if they don't or if I feel that I'm not making progress, I will definitely search out of state if necessary because getting on top of this is a priority goal.

Valkywrite

Posts : 3
Join date : 2016-09-15
Age : 28
Location : Mississippi

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Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  emalita on Fri Sep 16, 2016 7:17 pm

I did a quick search on google for pelvic floor physical therapists in Mississippi, and I was able to find a few right away. So they are available in your state.

Good luck with the dialators!

emalita

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Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  lindsey_taylor on Tue Sep 20, 2016 12:20 am

You have every right to be upset. I am a nurse and if he is wanting to be a nurse himself, I would advise that he try to be more understanding and sympathetic. He reacted childishly and without compassion. Please do not believe this says anything about you. I do hope you start to feel better soon.

lindsey_taylor

Posts : 58
Join date : 2016-06-06
Age : 33
Location : Georgia, United States

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Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

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