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» Acupuncture advice please
Yesterday at 11:27 pm by infinitelywondering

» Please tell me this can get better
Mon Feb 19, 2018 2:10 am by anon99

» Lichen Sclerosus
Fri Feb 16, 2018 2:47 am by ryn207

Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:04 pm by infinitelywondering

» my rock bottom, psychological effects of vulvodynia, I told him he can leave me
Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:43 am by renegade_magdalena

» Some interesting information about nerve pain in general
Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:58 am by Athena

» Sore after using dilator for first time in a year
Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:45 am by Athena

» What helped me
Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:38 am by Athena

Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:33 am by Athena


Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:04 pm by infinitelywondering

Dear all,

Today has been the day I've been waiting for. The day something FINALLY makes sense.
I've been told countless times that I've got nerve damage or a muscular condition, yet none of the specific treatments have helped me. My GP suggested attacking this from a different angle so referred me to a dermatologist specialist

after having a vestibulectomy with no success, I decided to visit …

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Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:18 am by rockylife


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Newby not sure where to turn

Thu Feb 01, 2018 3:32 pm by Cerjo87

Hi this is all very new to me , well the talking about it bit is , the pain while having sex and also the uncomfortable feelings after and feeling like I have  sistitus most of the time I’m very used to , I’ve suffered for 7 years now I’m only 30 . Finally after all this time the doctors or should I say my gp has said I have Vulvodynia and have givin me gabapentin to try .i told her I’d …

Comments: 4

Looking for a friend..... and new problems

Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:38 pm by infinitelywondering

Hi everyone,

I hope you're doing well.

I hate to say this, but I feel beaten down and terribly alone. I had a vestibulectomy surgery about 6 months ago and I was absolutely praying it would work. It didn't.

6 months later and here I am, sitting on my bedroom floor crying my eyes out because I know I'll never be able to have painfree sex. I don't know what to do and just need a friend Sad

Comments: 8

Newbie to the site

Sun Jul 30, 2017 12:16 am by Ksa

Hello. Thank you for this wonderful site. I'm currently under the care of a dr in Phoenix that specializes in vaginal disorders. I will probably be on a suppository of estridol the rest of my life and I am currently on medications for a rare form of vaginitis that's pretty unheard of for my age. My vagina literally hates me. I've struggled with vulvadynia for 20 years, the duration of my …

Comments: 4

Vulvodynia from #metoo media coverage

Thu Jan 25, 2018 9:01 pm by dooleyhornberg

I am wondering if anyone else in this forum has experience an increase or flare up in their vulvodynia as a result of the coverage of the sexual abuse scandals in Hollywood, DC, and the recent gymnastics scandal. I have definitely had a flare up.

Comments: 0

So frustrating!!

Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:15 am by Hannah77

Well I'm back in pain after 7 years of pain free days.
I was diagnosed with vulvodynia when I was 17. I suffered for three years with horrible burning all day, painful sex with my boyfriend and just pure misery Sad I went into a spontaneous remission when I was 20. I'm still not sure how the pain stopped but all the sudden I could go an entire day without thinking of my vagina, sex started to …

Comments: 3

Looking for suggestions or encouragement

Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:10 am by ryn207

Hi there. I'm 25 and have been dealing with this for over a year and a half and I'm really starting to lose hope this will ever stop.

In July of 2016 I had a yeast infection. When Monistat didn't work I went to my gynecologist who prescribed Diflucan. When the itching didn't stop she retested me and found that my yeast infection was gone, but I now had a bacterial infection. After taking the …

Comments: 4

Amitriptyline given for vulvodyina pain

Tue Oct 24, 2017 2:46 pm by katycrawford

Hi there,

After years of being misdiagnosed etc as most women have on this forum I have finally been diagnosed with vulvodynia (yay) and have been given the lowest dose of an antidepressant called Amitriptyline. Has anyone been on this before and has any positive (or negative) news to give me? Im feeling down already and I've only been taking it for a few days, I don't have much hope of it …

Comments: 11

Diagnosed and Humiliated

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Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  Valkywrite on Thu Sep 15, 2016 4:19 pm

When I was with my boyfriend a few months ago, we decided to eventually try to have sex (both virgins, believe it or not). I'm 25, and it was my first attempt (grew up in a super religious family--I've been gradually moving away from that), so I decided to go to a gynecologist to get a check up and get on birth control.

I've never found tampons comfortable or possible to wear, so I've always stuck to pads. I thought this had something to do with me being a virgin, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that my first sexual experience would probably require me to be under the influence of something to relax me.

Instinct led me to investigate, I guess.

The first time the boyfriend got intimate with me (fingerplay), it was ecstasy, but I was also in extreme pain. I thought it was just because I wasn't used to anything like...that. I'm a good actress, though so I just endured it.

I decided to go to the gynecologist after that, and they couldn't use a speculum or really perform a pelvic exam--it felt like acid was being poured on a certain spot on my vagina anytime they tried to get something to enter, and getting anything entered was also difficult. They managed to perform a pap smear with a needle. That was a trip and a half.

They eventually gave me lidocaine and birth control--said that I needed to practice entering things like dildos and to use the lidocaine to dull the specific spot (near the perineum or base). I basically screamed anytime they touched that area. They finally diagnosed me with vulvodynia and possibly vaginismus. Thankfully, the pain is very localized, so if worse comes to worse--surgery.
The birth control, unfortunately, made me ill (I started having panic attacks from increased anxiety as a result of the birth control) and the doctor said it was because my liver couldn't handle the artificial hormone. It was bad, but it wasn't terrible--the only thing I requested of my boyfriend during this time was for him to call me every day. I've heard of much worse issues and I was hiding my mood swings and anxiety attacks fairly well, comparatively (compared to other women I've known who had this problem).

I tried discussing these issues with my boyfriend, but in the end, he said this (the vulvodynia and the birth control problems) made him lose some attraction to me, and we split under the pretense of him simply needing to complete nursing school before getting into a relationship (oh the irony).

Honestly, I've never been more humiliated and upset in my life. I was being the honest and upfront adult...and instead of being supportive, he turned into an absolute child.

He wants to eventually reconcile and try dating again, but honestly, I expressed medical concerns in a way that I thought would ease his anxieties, and he was unbelievably immature about it. Not sure if I want to put myself through that again.

I loved him, love him still, but the fact that he said, "You became unattractive to me when you got ill" --this coming from a nursing student--was unconscionable.

So, for now, I am still dating around, but clearly, sex isn't really an option right now. I'm hoping to find some solace in these forums, hopefully on the road to recovery. I've bought a dilator kit, a journal kit for recording the issues...and honestly, I'm hoping things will look up so I can eventually have sex and have sex without pain too.

That would be nice.


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Join date : 2016-09-15
Age : 27
Location : Mississippi

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Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  emalita on Thu Sep 15, 2016 11:16 pm

Hi Valkywrite,

Being honest was absolutely the right choice, and I'm sorry that he reacted in the way he did. Just know that's HIS insecurity and selfishness and does not reflect on you. You deserve to be loved through the good times and the bad.

Have you thought about seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist? You may have better results that way than using dialators on your own without guidance.


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Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  Valkywrite on Fri Sep 16, 2016 5:53 pm

If I knew where to find a pelvic floor physical therapist, I probably would. I live in an area where "sex is sinful and gynos--or anything in relation to them--are sinful" therefore, finding one in-state is going be extremely difficult. I'll try the dilators first and if they don't or if I feel that I'm not making progress, I will definitely search out of state if necessary because getting on top of this is a priority goal.


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Age : 27
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Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  emalita on Fri Sep 16, 2016 7:17 pm

I did a quick search on google for pelvic floor physical therapists in Mississippi, and I was able to find a few right away. So they are available in your state.

Good luck with the dialators!


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Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

Post  lindsey_taylor on Tue Sep 20, 2016 12:20 am

You have every right to be upset. I am a nurse and if he is wanting to be a nurse himself, I would advise that he try to be more understanding and sympathetic. He reacted childishly and without compassion. Please do not believe this says anything about you. I do hope you start to feel better soon.


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Re: Diagnosed and Humiliated

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