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Constant pain, I want to die.

Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:29 am by Meggiemay

I posted on here a few years ago but my symptoms went away with the inflammation. I didn't get so lucky this time.

For over three months, i've had terrible rawness, burning, soreness in the urethral/vestibule area and pressure/hypersensitivity in the clitoral area. I've also had some lower abdominal pressure and burning on my butt. I can barely walk! My gyno hasn't been much help. I'm on …

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I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?

Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:17 pm by Tunes25


I am a 25 year old woman and wanted to share my story here as I feel frustrated by the suggestions of my gyno and am hoping for some advice.

To give the context for this: in September 2016 I moved in with my long term boyfriend after living abroad a year and (nearly) abstaining from sex. Within a few weeks I had got a yeast infection which I treated myself successfully, but then 2 weeks …

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I cured myself 100% of vulvodynia twenty years ago--I hope this helps someone

Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:33 pm by totallycured


Every so often I'm reminded of the constant, persistent, horrible pain I was in two decades ago, and I reach out to try to help others who are suffering. If someone had offered me a solution during that terrible time, I'd have jumped at it. I hope this helps someone.

Yes, I did have terrible vulvodynia. It felt like someone poured acid all over my vulva. My doctor confirmed it and was …

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Recently Diagnosed which has motivated my research study

Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:54 pm by ebclose2free

Hi everyone,

My name is Eliza Barach and I was diagnosed with vulvodynia in October of 2017. I'm also PhD student at the State University of New York at Albany. I work several professors at SUNY, but one in particular, Dr. Mitch Earleywine researches marijuana and its possible efficacy as an alternative treatment. Our previous examined cannabis and symptoms of PMS/PMDD and found that women …

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Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:04 pm by infinitelywondering

Dear all,

Today has been the day I've been waiting for. The day something FINALLY makes sense.
I've been told countless times that I've got nerve damage or a muscular condition, yet none of the specific treatments have helped me. My GP suggested attacking this from a different angle so referred me to a dermatologist specialist

after having a vestibulectomy with no success, I decided to visit …

Comments: 3

New and desperate for advice

Sat Mar 03, 2018 2:37 pm by srbry

Hi everyone,

I'm new here and was told to find a support group because this is all getting a bit much really...

I lost my virginity when I was 18 and it hurt - that was normal. Loads of women had told me that it hurt so that was fine I didn't question that. I was with the same guy for a couple of months and each time after that it was uncomfortable and not great. I didn't tell him because I …

Comments: 3

New and need some help

Wed Feb 21, 2018 4:30 pm by LindafromNJ

New to this site ad trying to figure out how it works.  I am trying to post as a new member so I am hoping this goes thru.  I am a senior adult and have just been diagnosed by the Drexil Vaginitis Center to have vulvodynia along with Vestibulitis (not sure if spelled correctly).  My symptoms are vaginal burning, itching, soreness around the vaginal opening with one spot in particular.  Some …

Comments: 9

Amitriptyline given for vulvodyina pain

Tue Oct 24, 2017 2:46 pm by katycrawford

Hi there,

After years of being misdiagnosed etc as most women have on this forum I have finally been diagnosed with vulvodynia (yay) and have been given the lowest dose of an antidepressant called Amitriptyline. Has anyone been on this before and has any positive (or negative) news to give me? Im feeling down already and I've only been taking it for a few days, I don't have much hope of it …

Comments: 12

Can A Cut In Vestibule cause Vulvodynia?

Thu Mar 01, 2018 1:07 am by rockylife

Can a cut in the vestibule area cause vulvodynia? Is it possible that some nerve a were damaged that’s why I feel this pain in my area without visible lesions?

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How dare he make me feel this way!

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How dare he make me feel this way!

Post  emalita on Fri Sep 16, 2016 11:42 pm

About a week ago my fiancé (12 year relationship) came home pretty quiet and seemed to be silently crabby. I asked him what was wrong several times, and of course he responded that nothing was wrong. So after a few days of this, I gave up asking and went about my days. So this resulted in us not saying much more than a few sentences to each other each day this week. I stayed upstairs after work and he stayed downstairs. I went to bed alone, and he came to bed usually after I was asleep.

He had already made it pretty clear several weeks ago, if not months ago, that he was sick of hearing about my vulvar issues. So, for the last 2-3 months, I haven't talked to him about it at all (the good or the bad). The only person I can talk to about this is an online friend, and he knows this.

Anyway, tonight was the last of my silence on the issue because before leaving to go to his sister's he didn't even come upstairs to say goodbye. When I asked him if this was how our life was going to be now, he just responded that he was tired and annoyed thinking that we will never go out and do anything together ever again. Although I understand that this does impact him greatly, and I've generally tried to be so apologetic to him for HIM having to deal with this, tonight I'd had enough!

How dare he be so cold towards ME?
How dare he make ME feel guilty for being in pain?
How dare he not ask me at least once in a while how I'M feeling?
I'm so sorry for how much pain this must be causing HIM!
I'm so sorry for how much of an inconvenience this is for HIM!
Next time I will be sure to have a condition like cancer so he can talk to the world about HIS suffering!

Yes, I said all this to him. I truly believe that if I had a condition that could be openly discussed like cancer, and he was treating me like this, his family would SCREAM at him. But no...he gets to go on telling everyone at family events whatever he wants to make me look like the horrible fiancé who won't spend time with everyone.

What a horrible woman I am because I clearly must have chosen this pain for him to think treating me this way and making me feel guilty was the appropriate thing to do. The worst thing is that I'm sure he still feels that he is the victim in all of this even after I said all those things to him.

So he left tonight to be with family, and I am home alone with my thoughts and my tears...again Crying or Very sad


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Re: How dare he make me feel this way!

Post  PainBlogger on Sat Sep 17, 2016 2:18 pm

Sad That is horrible for you, emalita. I don't know if I can offer any helpful advice but I hope your situation - physical symptoms and emotional/relationship situation will improve soon.


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Re: How dare he make me feel this way!

Post  fairlight10 on Sat Sep 17, 2016 5:59 pm

Hi emalita I read your post this morning. It made me sad. You have been kind and supportive to so many of the sufferers on this forum. This is such a cruel condition and can cause many a relationship to suffer. When I developed this condition I told my husband I was no good anymore and to find someone else. Fortunately he didn't. I hope by time you read this you are back in his arms.


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Re: How dare he make me feel this way!

Post  jjr23 on Sun Sep 18, 2016 11:18 am

Hi emalita,

How dare our partners make us feel like that!!! They have no idea what we are going through. They play the victim and act like they are at a disadvantage. They are so selfish. They focus on how they are affected by it and how they are negatively impacted, AND on top of this they make us feel guilty for putting them in that position. They don't think about us and what we are going through. It's horrible and really REALLY unfair. This pain condition is out of our control. Don't they understand that? It's so frustrating. Men don't seem to put themselves in our shoes. They don't understand that we are suffering just as much as them.. and so much more! We have to live with this issue and carry the burden of sharing it with out partner. We are suffering enough already. And then to have their selfish attitude added to the situation.. well that's just fucking shit. I completely empathize with you. Having this condition has been the hardest mental/emotionally struggle I've ever dealt with and I can't imagine what it would feel like for your long-term relationship.

I'm sorry to say this but I don't know how long I could put up with that for. I understand it's a tough situation for you because you have been together for so many years and you probably have a deep love for each other.

I don't know what else to say. I don't have any specific advice. I was going to say communicate openly with him but it sounds like you are way past that point and talking about it seems to annoy him. Just wanted to respond and let you know that a lot of us (me, at least), know exactly what you're talking about and have felt those emotions.

I hope things work out and improve for you!


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Re: How dare he make me feel this way!

Post  lindsey_taylor on Tue Sep 20, 2016 12:17 am

You are one of the absolutely most kind and helpful people I have had the pleasure of meeting, and I do not limit that to this forum. I am so very sorry that you are having to go through this with your significant other. I know he has his frustrations for sure and I can understand that... but he needs to talk these things out with you instead of acting the way he is acting. I'm so sorry. I sometimes wonder if, when our partners get like this... if they have forotten the pain and frustration we deal with daily. I do hope things get better for you very soon.


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Re: How dare he make me feel this way!

Post  emalita on Tue Sep 20, 2016 2:17 am

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I'm glad to at least have this forum to share my pain with (emotionally and physically).

Unfortunately I can't say that my fiancé and I are any better. However, I have noticed a slight shift in his tone that is less cold, but I'm still disappointed in him and will need some time to move beyond the hurt he has caused. Most of my energy is put into healing these days.

Thank you all again. Hopefully one day we will have better things to fight over with our significant others Wink


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