Wed Jan 18, 2017 11:19 pm by outsider
I am a 25 year old guy who has erectile dysfunction following an injury a few years ago. I am here because I think that men and women with sexual dysfunction could benefit from dating each other. My experience has been that women have lost interest when they found out that penetrative sex was not possible with me.
So I am interested in learning more about female sexual disorders. Do young …
Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:37 pm by Lisa1627
Mon Apr 03, 2017 2:00 am by overit14
This started in 2012 and has happened off and on since. I get really, really red and it's very painful, swollen and burns. Sometimes it may be a little itchy, but mostly it just …
Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:52 pm by canuck girl
I found the site tonight, and am so pleased I did, I hadn't realised it was such a problem, and I for one am grateful that the group exists. I recently had a really awful , well the worst one I had ever had UTI, after 4 days of antibiotics it should have cleared though. i now had this awful feeling, and sensations, very sore, burning, some strange sensations I have that are hard …
Wed Feb 22, 2017 12:15 am by Persevere1990
It's great to see there is a support network here... I was diagnosed a few weeks ago and have started nightly treatment with lidocaine cream one week ago. Not noticing any difference yet.
I notice I get flare ups throughout the day, typically after peeing, showering, walking and when I'm stressed. I'm pretty sure my vulvodynia was caused by nerve damage due to a bad case of thrush …
Wed Aug 17, 2016 1:39 am by angelique2016
Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:54 pm by Roselilyflower
Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:35 am by surprisemom44
I just found this site tonight. I am on my fourth round of antibiotics in a row since Nov. But honestly, have been having the pain, itching, burning for years. I had never heard of this condition until tonight and have not been diagnosed but I feel it has to be what I have. I had my first encounter with burning, itching, pain when I was 12! My mom tried to get me to douche! I had …
Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:22 pm by crackleberry
Had my appointment this week and the dermatologist confirmed everything I had previously said about my referral to her in the first place - there is no dermatological issue, and nothing she can help me with. I knew that already and this non-revelation certainly wasn't worth the five month wait.
This is the pattern. Get a referral, wait 5-6 months, have an appointment, be prescribed something, wait 5-6 months, return to discuss how the prescribed treatment has not worked, wait 5-6 months, receive letter informing of who they're passing me off to next, rinse and repeat. Go back to the GP as often as possible to be told that they won't do anything else at all while I'm waiting for my letter/appointment/whatever.
So, imagining for a moment I didn't have a vagina that feels like an open wound, my newly engaged finance and I would ideally like to get pregnant after our wedding in 2018 (at which point we'll have been together 7 years, living together for 5), but open to getting pregnant before that - because what if we miss our only chance because we're waiting? We're still sexually active, minus penetration and contraception, and we're aware that it's unlikely (but possible) to get pregnant this way - even more so unlikely because I have PCOS and go months without a period. We may never have full intercourse again, it certainly feels that way.
So we optimistically decided that with waiting times, criteria, funding, chances of pregnancy reducing with aging etc, etc, etc... let's go to the doc, tell them we want to get pregnant, let's get on a waiting list for any form of fertility treatment. I thought I'd prepared for the worst, maybe being handed a leaflet and shuffled out of the door, maybe being told that we would be waiting years past our timeline for even the first consult, etc.
I was NOT prepared. Artificial insemination not available to me, at all. IVF available only to couples who had been trying to conceive via regular sexual intercourse for 12+ months, so not me. No allowances for the fact that I CANNOT have regular sexual intercourse. No allowances for the likelihood that there are other fertility issues with the PCOS/lack of periods - I can't prove it, because I can't say "I'm having sex AND not getting pregnant".
So what are my options? I have to wait until they fix me, then have regular sex for a year and THEN they will refer me for my first consult if I don't get pregnant. Lucky whooping-fucking-do me. It's only been FIVE WHOLE YEARS that I haven't been able to have sex, during which I've averaged two five minute appointments a year with specialists who shrug their shoulders and leave me waiting half a year with nothing to do but sit and wait around, thinking about how defective my body is.
I know I'm probably over-reacting but I have basically been told that if the pain doesn't go away then no children for me ever.
And I know I'm probably over-reacting but I don't understand how they could expect me to be okay with sitting and wait patiently for them to figure out what's wrong and fix it when it's been five years and virtually nothing is being done to help.
And I know I'm probably over-reacting but I really don't feel I can cope with the concept of never having my own children, and even worse, forcing that on my partner too - that isn't sharing my pain with him, that's just doubling the pain.
And I know I'm probably over-reacting, but it's been hinted to me that the next referral I'll be getting is for psychological help and fucking hell... I'm more than happy to try therapy, but my past experience of mental health referrals suggests that my next wait is going to be well over 5-6 months (over a 2 year wait following teenage suicide attempt many years ago - and if they can't fast-track the overdosing child, what hope is there for a sad woman with a hurty vagina?)... I've actually been asking for a mental health referral for a long time now, but I know it's not the solution to my pain! At this rate I'll still be waiting for help as I hit the menopause.
The only alternative is private care that we cannot afford. I'm doing everything I can do with what I have. I've been thinking about hurting myself enough down there to maybe force surgery to happen. I've been thinking about obtaining something along the lines of heroin... maybe that could numb the pain/knock me unconscious for long enough so that he could have sex with me. I've been thinking that maybe I will need to ask him to physically restrain and essentially rape me.
I don't feel like a woman. I might as well have no reproductive organs, they're all broken. Suicide was kind of lingering in my brain's periphery and now it's standing centre stage, waving it's arms. Not planning for it in the near future, but it definitely feels like my brain is trying to schedule some kind of cut off point, where I decide I'm not willing to wait anymore.
Just want to end with: I'm actually very sane and level-headed when this issue isn't at the forefront of my mind. I am in an exceptionally healthy relationship (going strong despite no sex, genuinely only two small 1-hour arguments in over five years, and it goes without saying my partner would NOT agree to the drastic measures above). I hold a full time job, I have friends, close family relationships, I even have a couple of hobbies - I'm a functioning person! I don't WANT to die, I don't WANT to conceive a child while unconscious, I know that harming myself is not a sensible action to take if I want to be a parent - these are last resort thoughts that repeat over and over in my head against my will and best judgement. I read back through this before posting, and if the writer was a stranger to me, I wouldn't think they were fit for motherhood. But this is what my medical problems are doing to me. It is holding ransom everything I hold dear, all my plans for the future, control over my own life. Perhaps I'll feel better in the morning, or maybe in a few years I'll be able to accept a life without children, or maybe they'll fix me but I'll still be a headcase. I am so sick of this.
- Posts : 5
Join date : 2016-05-25
Are you able to insert anything (like a tampon or small dilator)? I've seen info on the Internet where people have had success with DIY artificial insemination at home. Obviously you'd need to be able to use a small syringe (minus needle of course) for that to be an option and it wouldn't be as likely to work as AI where they inseminate into the uterus directly (IUI). Have you tried physiotherapy and/or dilators? What about lidocaine gel/ointment? Which medications have you tried?
Another option, which is not ideal but I'm sure people have done, would be to say to your GP you have been trying for over a year. I don't like to advocate lying, but, honestly, in your situation (and maybe this makes me a bad person) I would personally consider it. I guess you'd have to wait another year before doing that though as the GP knows that at the moment you haven't been able to.
Whatever you do, don't try to push through the pain and have sex. It will only make things worse and you could cause relationship difficulties in a relationship which sounds very strong.
I hope you find something that helps you soon.
- Posts : 210
Join date : 2015-07-27