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» New here would very much appreciate advice at the end of my rope
Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:46 am by Jma990o

» Diagnosed Recently
Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:55 pm by flissyg

» Looking for suggestions or encouragement
Thu Jan 03, 2019 11:09 am by Gaby

» Clinical Trial for Vulvodynia Treatment
Wed Dec 19, 2018 7:13 pm by wramirez

» New and need advice and help
Thu Dec 13, 2018 9:48 am by Derry59

» Things that have worked for me
Tue Dec 11, 2018 11:32 am by Amethyst

» Found relief after more than 15 years of pain!
Tue Dec 11, 2018 11:17 am by Amethyst

» I'm new to this forum and would love some advice! :)
Tue Dec 11, 2018 3:06 am by Cin124

» I think I know what causes vulvodynia-it's the memory of pain
Sat Dec 08, 2018 1:24 pm by foxysugarpants

New here would very much appreciate advice at the end of my rope

Wed Jan 09, 2019 9:09 pm by Jma990o

This might be a little long but it's been such a long time I've even been able to talk about my problems openly thank you in advance for any helpful advice.
So ok I'm 24 I've been having this problem for over two years seen quite a few doctors and obgyns alike and nobody will take me seriously I have had a few utis and yeast infections and even bv once and this all started after one of the utis …

Comments: 2

Diagnosed Recently

Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:55 pm by flissyg

Hi All,

I’m so glad I’ve found a place where there are others who understand how I feel!

So this is my story:-

I’m 36,  and 4 months ago, whilst innocently sitting in bed reading I experienced a very sharp stabbing pain in my clitoris. It last only a few minutes and then subsided as quickly as it came on. It put it down to “one of those things”.  The following morning I woke up …

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Looking for suggestions or encouragement

Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:10 am by ryn207

Hi there. I'm 25 and have been dealing with this for over a year and a half and I'm really starting to lose hope this will ever stop.

In July of 2016 I had a yeast infection. When Monistat didn't work I went to my gynecologist who prescribed Diflucan. When the itching didn't stop she retested me and found that my yeast infection was gone, but I now had a bacterial infection. After taking the …

Comments: 6

New and need advice and help

Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:26 pm by Cin124

Hi everyone,

About three months ago, I started having vaginal and vulval itching. Then, about two months ago, my vulva started to feel painful and look swollen, so I went to the doctor. I was tested for herpes, chlamydia, and gonorrhea which all came back negative. I also had to do a vaginal swab test and the only thing that came back positive was yeast infection. I was prescribed hydrozole …

Comments: 4

I'm new to this forum and would love some advice! :)

Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:13 am by anikita

Hi lovely gals!

I'm honestly hoping to get any bit of advice anyone might have to offer. I go from bouts of sobbing hysterically in my boyfriend's arms to feeling confident that I can beat this.

I haven't been actually diagnosed with vulvodynia but EVERYTHING under the sun has come back negative. I started having sex 4 years ago after starting Lo Loestrin, with my first and current boyfriend …

Comments: 13

Hello. Happy to have found this group.

Fri Dec 07, 2018 9:01 pm by foxysugarpants

I am new here and hope to gain some insight into my vulva pain. I suffered for a long time not realizing that there are ways to feel better. I saw the Dr. yesterday and I am starting P/T pelvic and valium suppositories. queen

Comments: 0

Had this for 5 years, looking for people who understand

Sat Oct 06, 2018 9:46 pm by blackberrie

Hey all. I'm really struggling to find anyone in real life who can really understand what I'm going through. I've had vestibulodynia for 5 years now and I'm single. Obviously it has completely affected how I approach dating and sex and the fact that I can't really talk to people irl about it has made me feel very lonely. I've found that a lot of the women who have this problem are married and …

Comments: 3

Anyone have pain with urination?

Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:35 pm by mertzwl

Hi everyone - I can't believe I've been dealing with this for almost 10 years and an appointment scheduler at a urogyn office is the one to suggest I look into vulvodynia. Honestly, I don't care, I just thankful I might have an answer.

I have pain in one specific spot right around the urethral opening so it always coincides with urinating (it's not a uti). Does anyone else deal with pain …

Comments: 6

Diagnosed recently, looking for advice

Sun Sep 02, 2018 12:51 am by Cloudberry

Hi everyone,

I'm so glad I found this forum! I was diagnosed with vulvodynia/vulvar vestibulitis (still not sure about the difference between all the different terms) a couple of months ago and I could do with some advice. This is probably going to be a lot of text because I just want to get everything off my chest, so please bear with me.

I’m a woman in my late 20s. Before getting diagnosed …

Comments: 4


Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

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Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  speechie123 on Thu Dec 15, 2016 9:41 pm

Hi,
I was wondering if anyone else has experienced problems with anorgasmia/inability to masturbate or become aroused/maintain arousal along with vulvar vestibulitis/vaginismus. I have had both for almost as long as I can remember (the vaginismus probably stems from the vestibular pain) and one of my biggest pet peeves besides day-to-day and pain after I work out is that I can't really masturbate. I've tried to discuss this with my doctor but it's pretty awkward and he is more concerned about my ability to have intercourse (I don't have a boyfriend or husband so I have few opportunities for that anyway). I've heard of some people with vaginismus who can "only" masturbate, but not being able to really sucks. It basically closes off any possibility of a reciprocal sexual relationship for me. I'd also be up for discussing the suckiness of dating with this-- I am bisexual so I can at least focus on women, but since it's still an issue I am constantly on edge on dates because I'll have to explain this whole mess eventually and I won't be able to give an estimated "fixed by" date. Just "my vagina is broken, no idea when or if it will get fixed".

speechie123

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  Mark on Wed Dec 21, 2016 9:12 pm

Hi Speechie,

I'm male so don't have vulvodynia, but I'm the husband of someone who does. So maybe our experience will help.

She doesn't agree with female masturbation but she does have a normal to high sex drive.

When she has her pain, she has no interest in any type of intimacy, just to be cuddled and supported.

Sometimes she doesn't have the pain but instead gets an itch/slight irritation. When that happens she has a strong desire for orgasms and wants me to give her oral sex. Woe betide me if I'm not available! She gets very irritable. If the irritation is bad but not yet the full-on v pain, she wants massages. I don't know whether all women are like this but with the right techniques she can orgasm without any direct touching of her clitoris, mostly from me carressing her breasts and thighs.

When she doesn't have either then she has just a normal sex drive, enjoys mainly oral sex and has multiple orgasms pretty easily. Unfortunately despite trying pretty much everything vaginal sex is very painful for her and leaves her with an intense burning pain that lasts 2-3 days, sometimes more.

From what I've read about v, everyone's experience of it is different. But if you're anything like my wife, if you have the burning pain, it might not be a good idea to masturbate, as you could make things worse. You could try giving yourself a sensuous massage possibly, or get a boyfriend and have him do it (or a girl, as you said you're bi).

Also without being too graphic I don't know whether you're just using your fingers or a sex toy but if it's a toy then maybe some types that are more on the outside like a tongue would be better than ones that go inside more like a penis. So really it's probably about working out what triggers or worsens your condition and pleasuring yourself in a way that doesn't bring it on.

As regards dating, I can't comment on what it'd be like with another bisexual or lesbian woman but with men I think if you're upfront about it you'll be fine. Most of us when you set aside the machismo are mostly into our partners' orgasms as they're so much more intense than anything we're capable of, so we can live without vaginal sex as long as the woman still has a sex drive and the ability to climax. Obviously some men are more focused on their penises but if you're honest with them about your condition you'll filter them out early on and be left with a huge choice of potential partners who won't be fussed about your condition, just sorry for you and keen to show you their love in other ways tongue

Mark

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  speechie123 on Thu Dec 22, 2016 9:49 pm

Hi,
I am pretty much anorgasmic (I had a former girlfriend try to figure out "nipple orgasms" to her great frustration and disappointment) since there aren't really any forms of masturbation that don't hurt me and my pain-on-contact doesn't come and go (the pain flare ups I get that aren't related to contact do come and go thankfully and are semi-manageable with medication so far). I only really enjoy giving oral to women, so right now the sexual activity I can do is mostly confined to women (either with oral or to be a bit graphic using a strap-on). I guess I might consider oral for the right guy, but it's still basically pretty much one-sided oral only for an indetermined length of time since there's no real way of predicting when or if I will figure out a solution that makes intercourse enjoyable. I suppose if there was a guy who liked pegging that would be a second option but that's not exactly a common preference among guys. Generally, I just have a hard time figuring out when and how to give "the talk" since most partners from my experience (and my experience is not very comprehensive- I rarely even get to a sex talk with people when I date) want to be able to give their partners orgasms.

speechie123

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  Mark on Fri Dec 23, 2016 2:07 pm

Hi Speechie,

If all types of masturbation hurt you I assume that also includes a partner doing it for you (be that oral or handjobs, from a guy or a girl)? If so, that really must be frustrating for you.

Do you feel sexual urges? If so, could it be worth having another go at climaxing without genital contact? You can Google lots of advice and videos on how to do it. Maybe try when you're ovulating so at maximum horniness and sensitivity.

I'm not sure what pegging is but on the basis I'm a fairly normal straight guy who had a reasonable number of partners before meeting my wife and most of my friends are straight males who sometimes talk about what they've done I would probably have heard of it if it was commonplace. But I bet you could find a guy who liked it if you went onto the right kind of website.

My wife's condition is different to yours because her pain is intermittent and when it isn't on it isn't triggered by me playing with her clitoris. So me going down on her is our main indeed only form of sex and we do it probably as often as any couple both working full time with two young kids can manage it. Like you, I enjoy going down on a woman a lot Very Happy . OK, in a way it's one sided, but actually I think the pleasure I get from it is so much more intense than from any other kind of sex that I don't miss the other stuff. Could I live without giving her orgasms if her condition was like yours? Yes if I had to, because I love her. But it'd be hard. I think the problem is that we men have quite small orgasms compared to women so when we get with a woman we're attracted to we get a very strong desire to help her climax.

So I guess your options other than getting cured from vuvodynia are cracking orgasm without genital contact, going down on girls or finding a man who likes pegging, whatever that is. Good luck with whichever you choose!

Mark

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  speechie123 on Sun Dec 25, 2016 4:56 am

Thanks for trying to help-- hopefully I'll hear from a woman on the forum since they might have a little bit more experience with it (I even just wanted to figure out how common it was to go along with the vulvodynia and hear from other women who have a similarly difficult time with arousal-- I feel like I would already know if I could orgasm without touch?). I really would be fine with just sticking to dating women unless I get cured, I like them just as much or more than men -- the biggest problems with that is that I *still* need to tell them about it, women also generally want to be able to bring their partner to orgasm, and there are just fewer lesbian/bi women to date.


(P.S.-- pegging is when a woman uses a strap-on on a man. So, basically reverse heterosexual sex.)

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  Kezz on Tue Mar 28, 2017 12:40 am

Hi Mark,

I just wanted to say your comments really cheered me up coming from a man. It's comforting to know that not all men are just obsessed with vaginal sex. It's really easy to fall into that way of thinking as a woman with vulvodynia and that just makes it all the more depressing and unbearable... so your comments helped to pull me out if train of thought which is half the battle.

Hope all is well with yourself and your wife. Thanks again.

Kezz. Xx

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

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