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» I don't know what to do anymore
Yesterday at 5:05 am by SinclairSassy

» Social Security Disability Benefits
Tue May 22, 2018 7:22 pm by SinclairSassy

» Cleveland Clinic - Pain Management, Weston, FL
Tue May 22, 2018 7:13 pm by SinclairSassy

» Finally found a place for me...
Mon May 21, 2018 4:08 am by mtsp

» UK Vulvodynia Clinics
Sun May 20, 2018 9:58 am by katycrawford

» 8 years and struggling
Thu May 17, 2018 11:22 pm by Kezz

» Vestibulectomy recovery question!
Thu May 17, 2018 11:11 pm by Kezz

» Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams
Thu May 17, 2018 11:55 am by Rosie21

» What has been helping ME (much less pain over time!!)
Wed May 16, 2018 3:43 am by leoscc

Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams

Thu May 10, 2018 9:43 am by Rosie21

Hi I have been suffering for some years with this abominable pain. I have tried most of the systemic drugs , I asked specialists and Doctors if I could at least try a topical treatment but because this requires a special prescription have been refused Has anybody had a chance of trying these? Thank you I will try to put a link on to some of the research into Gabapentin Gel. Thanks.

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What has been helping ME (much less pain over time!!)

Wed May 16, 2018 3:43 am by leoscc

Hello everyone! I vanished for quite some time as my life became consumed by not only this but other daily responsibilities as well. Shortly after my diagnosis, my boyfriend f 3 years left me as he did not want to deal with this. It left me broken for a while but also gave me time to figure out what the heck was going on. So, I will write out a quick list of my symptoms and what helped me.

1. I …

Comments: 0

I cured myself 100% of vulvodynia twenty years ago--I hope this helps someone

Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:33 pm by totallycured

Hi,

Every so often I'm reminded of the constant, persistent, horrible pain I was in two decades ago, and I reach out to try to help others who are suffering. If someone had offered me a solution during that terrible time, I'd have jumped at it. I hope this helps someone.

Yes, I did have terrible vulvodynia. It felt like someone poured acid all over my vulva. My doctor confirmed it and was …

Comments: 4

I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?

Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:17 pm by Tunes25

Hello!

I am a 25 year old woman and wanted to share my story here as I feel frustrated by the suggestions of my gyno and am hoping for some advice.

To give the context for this: in September 2016 I moved in with my long term boyfriend after living abroad a year and (nearly) abstaining from sex. Within a few weeks I had got a yeast infection which I treated myself successfully, but then 2 weeks …

Comments: 5

Condoms Less Painful?

Mon May 07, 2018 3:35 am by stillinpain

I'm just curious, has anyone found using condoms to be less abrasive to the skin than without? I just got off birth control and haven't stretched myself out enough post surgery to try sex yet, but when I do I am wondering how trying it with condoms with affect the sensation. I feel like for me the skin to skin sensation creates pain, not just at my entrance but internally, too, since I also have …

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Will there be an end?

Fri Apr 27, 2018 12:06 am by Krista2828

I go in and out of being okay and not being okay with this condition. I question often why me? I am a problem solver by nature and I feel so defeated that after tons of research and trial and error and doctors and tears that there still is no answer.

I am in my 20's.. it shouldn't be this way.

Id love to know what all has worked! I am willing to try anything to get my life back. I am curious …

Comments: 6

you can be healed so easy and quite fast.

Thu Apr 26, 2018 11:46 pm by pussycat

Hello everyone,
i am new to this forum. I wanted to share my personal "journey" with V with you and to give you a real hope you can be totally healed/recovered from V. Many years ago i was struck with V, it was painful and got worst and worst, eventually i could not sit, could not stand, could not walk, could not swim in a swimming pool anymore. I was becoming bedridden, it frightened …

Comments: 4

Hi Im from Australia :)

Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:08 am by emma

Hi girls... I live in Australia.
I am currently undergoing a new treatment for vulvodynia. Just wondering if anyone else here has tried it. It's Endep in the form of cream to apply directly on the area. I dont know if anyone else has tried this but so far evidently it has had a 50% success rate.
Anyway i feel at a loss. This new treatment is exciting but at the same time i just dont feel like …

Comments: 35

Somebody please help me...

Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:05 am by Andlag

Hey everyone,

since I started being sexually active i often experienced burning in my vagina which was often worse during sex /around the time of my period or when using lubricants. I was never able to use tampons because the one time i tried putting them in it felt like acid was poured on my skin. Fast forward to 2 months ago when I got a UTI and an allergic reaction in my vagina. I thought it …

Comments: 14


Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

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Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  speechie123 on Thu Dec 15, 2016 9:41 pm

Hi,
I was wondering if anyone else has experienced problems with anorgasmia/inability to masturbate or become aroused/maintain arousal along with vulvar vestibulitis/vaginismus. I have had both for almost as long as I can remember (the vaginismus probably stems from the vestibular pain) and one of my biggest pet peeves besides day-to-day and pain after I work out is that I can't really masturbate. I've tried to discuss this with my doctor but it's pretty awkward and he is more concerned about my ability to have intercourse (I don't have a boyfriend or husband so I have few opportunities for that anyway). I've heard of some people with vaginismus who can "only" masturbate, but not being able to really sucks. It basically closes off any possibility of a reciprocal sexual relationship for me. I'd also be up for discussing the suckiness of dating with this-- I am bisexual so I can at least focus on women, but since it's still an issue I am constantly on edge on dates because I'll have to explain this whole mess eventually and I won't be able to give an estimated "fixed by" date. Just "my vagina is broken, no idea when or if it will get fixed".

speechie123

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  Mark on Wed Dec 21, 2016 9:12 pm

Hi Speechie,

I'm male so don't have vulvodynia, but I'm the husband of someone who does. So maybe our experience will help.

She doesn't agree with female masturbation but she does have a normal to high sex drive.

When she has her pain, she has no interest in any type of intimacy, just to be cuddled and supported.

Sometimes she doesn't have the pain but instead gets an itch/slight irritation. When that happens she has a strong desire for orgasms and wants me to give her oral sex. Woe betide me if I'm not available! She gets very irritable. If the irritation is bad but not yet the full-on v pain, she wants massages. I don't know whether all women are like this but with the right techniques she can orgasm without any direct touching of her clitoris, mostly from me carressing her breasts and thighs.

When she doesn't have either then she has just a normal sex drive, enjoys mainly oral sex and has multiple orgasms pretty easily. Unfortunately despite trying pretty much everything vaginal sex is very painful for her and leaves her with an intense burning pain that lasts 2-3 days, sometimes more.

From what I've read about v, everyone's experience of it is different. But if you're anything like my wife, if you have the burning pain, it might not be a good idea to masturbate, as you could make things worse. You could try giving yourself a sensuous massage possibly, or get a boyfriend and have him do it (or a girl, as you said you're bi).

Also without being too graphic I don't know whether you're just using your fingers or a sex toy but if it's a toy then maybe some types that are more on the outside like a tongue would be better than ones that go inside more like a penis. So really it's probably about working out what triggers or worsens your condition and pleasuring yourself in a way that doesn't bring it on.

As regards dating, I can't comment on what it'd be like with another bisexual or lesbian woman but with men I think if you're upfront about it you'll be fine. Most of us when you set aside the machismo are mostly into our partners' orgasms as they're so much more intense than anything we're capable of, so we can live without vaginal sex as long as the woman still has a sex drive and the ability to climax. Obviously some men are more focused on their penises but if you're honest with them about your condition you'll filter them out early on and be left with a huge choice of potential partners who won't be fussed about your condition, just sorry for you and keen to show you their love in other ways tongue

Mark

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  speechie123 on Thu Dec 22, 2016 9:49 pm

Hi,
I am pretty much anorgasmic (I had a former girlfriend try to figure out "nipple orgasms" to her great frustration and disappointment) since there aren't really any forms of masturbation that don't hurt me and my pain-on-contact doesn't come and go (the pain flare ups I get that aren't related to contact do come and go thankfully and are semi-manageable with medication so far). I only really enjoy giving oral to women, so right now the sexual activity I can do is mostly confined to women (either with oral or to be a bit graphic using a strap-on). I guess I might consider oral for the right guy, but it's still basically pretty much one-sided oral only for an indetermined length of time since there's no real way of predicting when or if I will figure out a solution that makes intercourse enjoyable. I suppose if there was a guy who liked pegging that would be a second option but that's not exactly a common preference among guys. Generally, I just have a hard time figuring out when and how to give "the talk" since most partners from my experience (and my experience is not very comprehensive- I rarely even get to a sex talk with people when I date) want to be able to give their partners orgasms.

speechie123

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  Mark on Fri Dec 23, 2016 2:07 pm

Hi Speechie,

If all types of masturbation hurt you I assume that also includes a partner doing it for you (be that oral or handjobs, from a guy or a girl)? If so, that really must be frustrating for you.

Do you feel sexual urges? If so, could it be worth having another go at climaxing without genital contact? You can Google lots of advice and videos on how to do it. Maybe try when you're ovulating so at maximum horniness and sensitivity.

I'm not sure what pegging is but on the basis I'm a fairly normal straight guy who had a reasonable number of partners before meeting my wife and most of my friends are straight males who sometimes talk about what they've done I would probably have heard of it if it was commonplace. But I bet you could find a guy who liked it if you went onto the right kind of website.

My wife's condition is different to yours because her pain is intermittent and when it isn't on it isn't triggered by me playing with her clitoris. So me going down on her is our main indeed only form of sex and we do it probably as often as any couple both working full time with two young kids can manage it. Like you, I enjoy going down on a woman a lot Very Happy . OK, in a way it's one sided, but actually I think the pleasure I get from it is so much more intense than from any other kind of sex that I don't miss the other stuff. Could I live without giving her orgasms if her condition was like yours? Yes if I had to, because I love her. But it'd be hard. I think the problem is that we men have quite small orgasms compared to women so when we get with a woman we're attracted to we get a very strong desire to help her climax.

So I guess your options other than getting cured from vuvodynia are cracking orgasm without genital contact, going down on girls or finding a man who likes pegging, whatever that is. Good luck with whichever you choose!

Mark

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  speechie123 on Sun Dec 25, 2016 4:56 am

Thanks for trying to help-- hopefully I'll hear from a woman on the forum since they might have a little bit more experience with it (I even just wanted to figure out how common it was to go along with the vulvodynia and hear from other women who have a similarly difficult time with arousal-- I feel like I would already know if I could orgasm without touch?). I really would be fine with just sticking to dating women unless I get cured, I like them just as much or more than men -- the biggest problems with that is that I *still* need to tell them about it, women also generally want to be able to bring their partner to orgasm, and there are just fewer lesbian/bi women to date.


(P.S.-- pegging is when a woman uses a strap-on on a man. So, basically reverse heterosexual sex.)

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  Kezz on Tue Mar 28, 2017 12:40 am

Hi Mark,

I just wanted to say your comments really cheered me up coming from a man. It's comforting to know that not all men are just obsessed with vaginal sex. It's really easy to fall into that way of thinking as a woman with vulvodynia and that just makes it all the more depressing and unbearable... so your comments helped to pull me out if train of thought which is half the battle.

Hope all is well with yourself and your wife. Thanks again.

Kezz. Xx

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

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