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» VULVODYNIA AND SUICIDE
Yesterday at 11:20 pm by Faezeh

» a video for you guys
Yesterday at 2:53 am by lavrose

» my rock bottom, psychological effects of vulvodynia, I told him he can leave me
Yesterday at 2:45 am by lavrose

» New and need some help
Fri Feb 23, 2018 1:12 pm by fairlight10

» Acupuncture gave me my life back!
Thu Feb 22, 2018 11:25 pm by Bx11

» Anyone from New Jersey
Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:47 pm by LindafromNJ

» vaginal cream
Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:46 pm by LindafromNJ

» Acupuncture advice please
Thu Feb 22, 2018 2:25 am by ryn207

» Please tell me this can get better
Mon Feb 19, 2018 2:10 am by anon99

New and need some help

Wed Feb 21, 2018 4:30 pm by LindafromNJ

New to this site ad trying to figure out how it works.  I am trying to post as a new member so I am hoping this goes thru.  I am a senior adult and have just been diagnosed by the Drexil Vaginitis Center to have vulvodynia along with Vestibulitis (not sure if spelled correctly).  My symptoms are vaginal burning, itching, soreness around the vaginal opening with one spot in particular.  Some …

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Anyone from New Jersey

Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:47 pm by LindafromNJ

Looking to maybe talk to someone from NJ to see if there are any support groups in this state.

Comments: 0

vaginal cream

Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:46 pm by LindafromNJ

I have been given ABC cream to start using for my condition. This is gabapentin, amitriptyline and baclofen cream. Has anyone tried this. Also has anyone used lidocaine. My doctor told me not to use it. It is so sore at the vaginal opening. Has anyone used it there. Please respond!!

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MAY HAVE FOUND A CURE- PLEASE READ

Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:04 pm by infinitelywondering

Dear all,

Today has been the day I've been waiting for. The day something FINALLY makes sense.
I've been told countless times that I've got nerve damage or a muscular condition, yet none of the specific treatments have helped me. My GP suggested attacking this from a different angle so referred me to a dermatologist specialist


after having a vestibulectomy with no success, I decided to visit …

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NO PAIN DURING SEX

Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:18 am by rockylife

I HAVE NO PAIN DURING SEX, BUT I FEEL THIS BURNING SENSATION ALL DAY JUST BESIDE THE VAGINAL OPENING. DO I REALLY HAVE A VULVODYNIA? I'M CONFUSED.

Comments: 2

Newby not sure where to turn

Thu Feb 01, 2018 3:32 pm by Cerjo87

Hi this is all very new to me , well the talking about it bit is , the pain while having sex and also the uncomfortable feelings after and feeling like I have  sistitus most of the time I’m very used to , I’ve suffered for 7 years now I’m only 30 . Finally after all this time the doctors or should I say my gp has said I have Vulvodynia and have givin me gabapentin to try .i told her I’d …

Comments: 4

Looking for a friend..... and new problems

Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:38 pm by infinitelywondering

Hi everyone,

I hope you're doing well.

I hate to say this, but I feel beaten down and terribly alone. I had a vestibulectomy surgery about 6 months ago and I was absolutely praying it would work. It didn't.

6 months later and here I am, sitting on my bedroom floor crying my eyes out because I know I'll never be able to have painfree sex. I don't know what to do and just need a friend Sad



Comments: 8

Newbie to the site

Sun Jul 30, 2017 12:16 am by Ksa

Hello. Thank you for this wonderful site. I'm currently under the care of a dr in Phoenix that specializes in vaginal disorders. I will probably be on a suppository of estridol the rest of my life and I am currently on medications for a rare form of vaginitis that's pretty unheard of for my age. My vagina literally hates me. I've struggled with vulvadynia for 20 years, the duration of my …

Comments: 4

Vulvodynia from #metoo media coverage

Thu Jan 25, 2018 9:01 pm by dooleyhornberg

I am wondering if anyone else in this forum has experience an increase or flare up in their vulvodynia as a result of the coverage of the sexual abuse scandals in Hollywood, DC, and the recent gymnastics scandal. I have definitely had a flare up.

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Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

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Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  speechie123 on Thu Dec 15, 2016 9:41 pm

Hi,
I was wondering if anyone else has experienced problems with anorgasmia/inability to masturbate or become aroused/maintain arousal along with vulvar vestibulitis/vaginismus. I have had both for almost as long as I can remember (the vaginismus probably stems from the vestibular pain) and one of my biggest pet peeves besides day-to-day and pain after I work out is that I can't really masturbate. I've tried to discuss this with my doctor but it's pretty awkward and he is more concerned about my ability to have intercourse (I don't have a boyfriend or husband so I have few opportunities for that anyway). I've heard of some people with vaginismus who can "only" masturbate, but not being able to really sucks. It basically closes off any possibility of a reciprocal sexual relationship for me. I'd also be up for discussing the suckiness of dating with this-- I am bisexual so I can at least focus on women, but since it's still an issue I am constantly on edge on dates because I'll have to explain this whole mess eventually and I won't be able to give an estimated "fixed by" date. Just "my vagina is broken, no idea when or if it will get fixed".

speechie123

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  Mark on Wed Dec 21, 2016 9:12 pm

Hi Speechie,

I'm male so don't have vulvodynia, but I'm the husband of someone who does. So maybe our experience will help.

She doesn't agree with female masturbation but she does have a normal to high sex drive.

When she has her pain, she has no interest in any type of intimacy, just to be cuddled and supported.

Sometimes she doesn't have the pain but instead gets an itch/slight irritation. When that happens she has a strong desire for orgasms and wants me to give her oral sex. Woe betide me if I'm not available! She gets very irritable. If the irritation is bad but not yet the full-on v pain, she wants massages. I don't know whether all women are like this but with the right techniques she can orgasm without any direct touching of her clitoris, mostly from me carressing her breasts and thighs.

When she doesn't have either then she has just a normal sex drive, enjoys mainly oral sex and has multiple orgasms pretty easily. Unfortunately despite trying pretty much everything vaginal sex is very painful for her and leaves her with an intense burning pain that lasts 2-3 days, sometimes more.

From what I've read about v, everyone's experience of it is different. But if you're anything like my wife, if you have the burning pain, it might not be a good idea to masturbate, as you could make things worse. You could try giving yourself a sensuous massage possibly, or get a boyfriend and have him do it (or a girl, as you said you're bi).

Also without being too graphic I don't know whether you're just using your fingers or a sex toy but if it's a toy then maybe some types that are more on the outside like a tongue would be better than ones that go inside more like a penis. So really it's probably about working out what triggers or worsens your condition and pleasuring yourself in a way that doesn't bring it on.

As regards dating, I can't comment on what it'd be like with another bisexual or lesbian woman but with men I think if you're upfront about it you'll be fine. Most of us when you set aside the machismo are mostly into our partners' orgasms as they're so much more intense than anything we're capable of, so we can live without vaginal sex as long as the woman still has a sex drive and the ability to climax. Obviously some men are more focused on their penises but if you're honest with them about your condition you'll filter them out early on and be left with a huge choice of potential partners who won't be fussed about your condition, just sorry for you and keen to show you their love in other ways tongue

Mark

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  speechie123 on Thu Dec 22, 2016 9:49 pm

Hi,
I am pretty much anorgasmic (I had a former girlfriend try to figure out "nipple orgasms" to her great frustration and disappointment) since there aren't really any forms of masturbation that don't hurt me and my pain-on-contact doesn't come and go (the pain flare ups I get that aren't related to contact do come and go thankfully and are semi-manageable with medication so far). I only really enjoy giving oral to women, so right now the sexual activity I can do is mostly confined to women (either with oral or to be a bit graphic using a strap-on). I guess I might consider oral for the right guy, but it's still basically pretty much one-sided oral only for an indetermined length of time since there's no real way of predicting when or if I will figure out a solution that makes intercourse enjoyable. I suppose if there was a guy who liked pegging that would be a second option but that's not exactly a common preference among guys. Generally, I just have a hard time figuring out when and how to give "the talk" since most partners from my experience (and my experience is not very comprehensive- I rarely even get to a sex talk with people when I date) want to be able to give their partners orgasms.

speechie123

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  Mark on Fri Dec 23, 2016 2:07 pm

Hi Speechie,

If all types of masturbation hurt you I assume that also includes a partner doing it for you (be that oral or handjobs, from a guy or a girl)? If so, that really must be frustrating for you.

Do you feel sexual urges? If so, could it be worth having another go at climaxing without genital contact? You can Google lots of advice and videos on how to do it. Maybe try when you're ovulating so at maximum horniness and sensitivity.

I'm not sure what pegging is but on the basis I'm a fairly normal straight guy who had a reasonable number of partners before meeting my wife and most of my friends are straight males who sometimes talk about what they've done I would probably have heard of it if it was commonplace. But I bet you could find a guy who liked it if you went onto the right kind of website.

My wife's condition is different to yours because her pain is intermittent and when it isn't on it isn't triggered by me playing with her clitoris. So me going down on her is our main indeed only form of sex and we do it probably as often as any couple both working full time with two young kids can manage it. Like you, I enjoy going down on a woman a lot Very Happy . OK, in a way it's one sided, but actually I think the pleasure I get from it is so much more intense than from any other kind of sex that I don't miss the other stuff. Could I live without giving her orgasms if her condition was like yours? Yes if I had to, because I love her. But it'd be hard. I think the problem is that we men have quite small orgasms compared to women so when we get with a woman we're attracted to we get a very strong desire to help her climax.

So I guess your options other than getting cured from vuvodynia are cracking orgasm without genital contact, going down on girls or finding a man who likes pegging, whatever that is. Good luck with whichever you choose!

Mark

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  speechie123 on Sun Dec 25, 2016 4:56 am

Thanks for trying to help-- hopefully I'll hear from a woman on the forum since they might have a little bit more experience with it (I even just wanted to figure out how common it was to go along with the vulvodynia and hear from other women who have a similarly difficult time with arousal-- I feel like I would already know if I could orgasm without touch?). I really would be fine with just sticking to dating women unless I get cured, I like them just as much or more than men -- the biggest problems with that is that I *still* need to tell them about it, women also generally want to be able to bring their partner to orgasm, and there are just fewer lesbian/bi women to date.


(P.S.-- pegging is when a woman uses a strap-on on a man. So, basically reverse heterosexual sex.)

speechie123

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

Post  Kezz on Tue Mar 28, 2017 12:40 am

Hi Mark,

I just wanted to say your comments really cheered me up coming from a man. It's comforting to know that not all men are just obsessed with vaginal sex. It's really easy to fall into that way of thinking as a woman with vulvodynia and that just makes it all the more depressing and unbearable... so your comments helped to pull me out if train of thought which is half the battle.

Hope all is well with yourself and your wife. Thanks again.

Kezz. Xx

Kezz

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Re: Problems with Masturbation/Anorgasmia?

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