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» 7 months since the diagnosis
Today at 9:09 am by Gaby

» Did going off antidepressants cause this?
Yesterday at 2:08 am by ryn207

» Sex after vulvodynia (husband edition)
Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:15 pm by emalita

» burning sensation and small cut? Maybe thrush?
Sun Aug 12, 2018 8:24 pm by emalita

» can v return after vestibulectomy?
Sun Aug 12, 2018 12:01 pm by Alana3

» Cleveland Clinic - Pain Management, Weston, FL
Sat Aug 11, 2018 12:37 pm by Alana3

» Hurting, Burning, Itching, and Worn Out
Fri Aug 10, 2018 7:55 pm by fairlight10

» GREATFULL FOR THIS WEBSITE
Thu Aug 09, 2018 8:37 pm by Nicola Jost

» Can you guys tell me your experiences with diflucan/Fluconazole?
Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:01 am by Guest

Hurting, Burning, Itching, and Worn Out

Thu Aug 09, 2018 10:55 pm by donnambr

This vulvodynia that I'm currently suffering with is so cruel. I hurt, I burn, I itch. When I first got this several years ago, before the internet, I though I was the only one with this awful disorder. Doctors couldn't figure it out. I felt so alone and devastated. Somehow it disappeared for a few years and now I'm suffering again. This dreaded V misery is back and I feel like I will be with …

Comments: 1

Hi girls! New in this forum

Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:31 pm by Gaby

Hi everyone!

Also joining the V club, Here my story:

It all started last year in september with a very bad throat infection for which i had to take antibiotics for about a month. This cause several yeast infections (candidia albicans).... one after the other!. I had them every month from october 2017 till march 2018. During this period i use an incredible amount of anti-fungal creams and …

Comments: 1

Newbie and feeling helpless

Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:52 pm by Taylor1

Hi, I found out a few weeks ago that I have this condition, started off at the end of April as a uti took strong antibiotics then got a thrush infection and now this.. My doctor has tried me on amitriptyline and gabipentin and both made me so poorly I couldn't take it plus I have seen what long use of these drugs has done to my mom for pain and its not good. I am using coconut oil which does …

Comments: 3

I'm new to this forum and would love some advice! :)

Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:13 am by anikita

Hi lovely gals!

I'm honestly hoping to get any bit of advice anyone might have to offer. I go from bouts of sobbing hysterically in my boyfriend's arms to feeling confident that I can beat this.

I haven't been actually diagnosed with vulvodynia but EVERYTHING under the sun has come back negative. I started having sex 4 years ago after starting Lo Loestrin, with my first and current boyfriend …

Comments: 6

From a concerned husband

Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:45 pm by ConcernedYorkieHubby

Hello everyone,

This is probably a little unconventional, but I’m a man who is here because his wife has been diagnosed with vulvodynia. The poor girl has been suffering with vulva pain for around 10 years now, and I’ve been by her side through the pain and tears and doctors misunderstandings the whole way, and we’re both exhausted and terrified by the whole experience.

I’m sure a lot …

Comments: 3

I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?

Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:17 pm by Tunes25

Hello!

I am a 25 year old woman and wanted to share my story here as I feel frustrated by the suggestions of my gyno and am hoping for some advice.

To give the context for this: in September 2016 I moved in with my long term boyfriend after living abroad a year and (nearly) abstaining from sex. Within a few weeks I had got a yeast infection which I treated myself successfully, but then 2 weeks …

Comments: 10

Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams

Thu May 10, 2018 9:43 am by Rosie21

Hi I have been suffering for some years with this abominable pain. I have tried most of the systemic drugs , I asked specialists and Doctors if I could at least try a topical treatment but because this requires a special prescription have been refused Has anybody had a chance of trying these? Thank you I will try to put a link on to some of the research into Gabapentin Gel. Thanks.

Comments: 1

What has been helping ME (much less pain over time!!)

Wed May 16, 2018 3:43 am by leoscc

Hello everyone! I vanished for quite some time as my life became consumed by not only this but other daily responsibilities as well. Shortly after my diagnosis, my boyfriend f 3 years left me as he did not want to deal with this. It left me broken for a while but also gave me time to figure out what the heck was going on. So, I will write out a quick list of my symptoms and what helped me.

1. I …

Comments: 0

I cured myself 100% of vulvodynia twenty years ago--I hope this helps someone

Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:33 pm by totallycured

Hi,

Every so often I'm reminded of the constant, persistent, horrible pain I was in two decades ago, and I reach out to try to help others who are suffering. If someone had offered me a solution during that terrible time, I'd have jumped at it. I hope this helps someone.

Yes, I did have terrible vulvodynia. It felt like someone poured acid all over my vulva. My doctor confirmed it and was …

Comments: 4


Pressure to have sex.

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Pressure to have sex.

Post  alexvulvo on Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:36 am

Hi everyone,

I'm new on here but so glad to have found this forum. I've had vulvodynia since I was 17 (I'm 26 now), and I've gone through the regular ups and downs, culminating in two of the best treatments or aids I've had - a vestibulectomy and post operation physical therapy with a wand.

My issue is that I've grown to associate sex with pain, and it's just not something I'm very interested in most of the time. My partner and I have seen a mindfulness sex therapist that encouraged me to live in the moment and that way, to invigorate a mood for sex. It's worked periodically, but for the most part it hasn't.

My partner was a virgin before he met me (he was heavily involved in church), and it seems that this inexperience coupled with my distaste for sex is undoing an otherwise happy relationship. I feel pressured to have sex when I don't want to. My partner seems to feel truly loved only when we sleep together. We aren't having very frequent sex at all, but he often rubs against me, makes sexual comments even after I've expressed pain earlier that day (having 'a bad day' as I call it), and yesterday he saw a woman on my Instagram feed and asked me 'Who is THAT?' in a very sexual way that threw me off completely. It was like he had forgotten he was with me and not one of his guy friends.

I was so shocked I didn't really say anything again, but I know he meant it the way I took it because he's since been overly loving, and even asked if he could help me with physical therapy. He's also become More vocal about other women's beauty, and he keeps sighing really heavily when people have sex in a movie we're watching, for example.

I'm scared that he doesn't know what he's doing is wrong. I can tell him but my opinion isn't altogether trusted because I've got something against sex. Then again, I feel like I'm going crazy for being upset and that it's not fair for me to complain. I just feel pressured and sad, and disappointed. Am I wrong to feel this way? I'm just so tired of sex having this negative role in my life. Will it ever stop? Do any of you have partners that don't do this? Or have any of you overcome these challenges?

Please help if you can.

alexvulvo

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Re: Pressure to have sex.

Post  Kezz on Thu Nov 02, 2017 10:59 pm

Hey hun, sorry you didn't get any replies to this sooner. I hope you're doing okay. Your boyfriend may not realise how unhelpful it is to sigh when sex scenes come on etc. Those little things can be very hurtful. I hope your situation has since improved? Xx

Kezz

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Re: Pressure to have sex.

Post  aspaceodyssey on Fri Jan 19, 2018 4:30 pm

alexvulvo, not sure if you still check the forum but just in case, wanted to extend my deepest sympathy for what you're going through. I've been there, down to having to hear sighing during sex scenes, and know the lonely painful feeling very well. I hope you are ok and have found some resolution through this situation. be gentle with yourself and don't do anything that hurts you or that you don't want to do, ever. I know it's easier said than done sometimes when you are under this pressure, and I hope that has let up. do you have a therapist or anyone you feel comfortable and safe opening up to and sharing this with? if not, I would encourage you to pursue that. I know it's difficult but you need and deserve that support. also, know that this can and will get better. I was in very much the same place and thought I would never enjoy sex or have a normal relationship, but even after dealing with this for most of my life (primary vulvodynia here), things turned around really quickly once I found the right treatment and a little added therapy/self-love and self-care to undo the years of trauma. I can barely even remember now what it felt like to be going through the worst of this, and I know the same will happen for you.

feel free to pm me anytime. hope you are doing well <3 hang in there!

aspaceodyssey

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I can so relate!

Post  Sad on Sun Apr 15, 2018 2:00 am

I have been dealing with this off and on for seems like 20 years. It has caused me to have really negative thoughts and attitude about sex. It's to the point that I hate it. I've tried to like it for my husband's sake, but I absolutely cringe when it is "date night". He has been patient and kind, but trying other non vaginal sex has not worked for either of us and I am to the point that I would rather deal with the pain than trying other things just to get it over with. He can't understand why it is so problematic for me to try other things, but honestly it all just puts me off. He thinks I should want to make him feel good even if I can't.
I feel terrible that I want no part of it. It's such a big guilt trip, I constantly berate myself. I feel as though I can't escape it. Everything is so sex related in our society.
He thinks we should get counseling but that is not an option in my mind. We know several couples that went for sex counseling and it ended in divorce every time. I can't do it. I can't talk to a complete stranger about such an intimate subject. I know myself, I would completely shut down. We went to a marriage retreat a few years back that was totally about sex and it shut me down in the first 5 minutes. This kind of thing does not open me up to the conversation, it does just the opposite.
I am at my wit's end. I hate myself, the pain is unrelenting. If we have sex I hurt for 2 to 3 days after. So, we try to have sex only once a week, but that means for half the week I'm hurting. How long can you live like that, hurting for half of every week?
I don't know what to do. I've tried physical therapy, I've tried numbing shots. I'm skeptical of surgery because I've heard stories from people that say it was worse after surgery and I can't do worse, it's bad enough as it is. I'm just done.  Sad
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Re: Pressure to have sex.

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