Recovery story please read !!

It's taken me a long long time to muster the courage to post this as it requires me delving into some deep trauma which I'm sure you can all relate to.
I have posted in this forum before saying that I wanted to take my own life just to end the pain; I was 100% convinced that there was no cure and this was what the rest of my life would be like.
This time last year, after trying amitryptiline, gabapentin and some other tricyclic antidepressant I forget the name of I was about to drop out of University and I was starting to plan my suicide; but I thought I'd give it a go for a few weeks.
During this time I was put onto pregabalin (Lyrica)
Something... Something felt different.
I was also using a mix of lidocaine and dilators
Things have been gradually settling with a few flares which I haven't suffered since May now.
I've learned to avoid tomatoes which cause a LOT of pain and itching - look up nightshade vegetables, they could be affecting you too!


I was so so so convinced that suicide was the only way out but please please please try to hang in there !!!! I am still here 1 year later and I am much better. Something will work. This is coming from someone who was absolutely convinced it wouldn't. In the meantime be kind to yourself and make sure you have supportive family and friends around you because it makes all the difference. If people ignore your chronic pain don't give them the time of day you don't need that toxicity.

Something my doctor told me was that just because there isn't one specific cure, there isn't no cure it's just different for everyone and that's why it can take a while.

I am sending you all so much love and I hope you find relief really soon <3

I wish there were more doctors like yours out there. I was just telling someone that I wish doctors would replace "there is no cure" with "there are many causes, so we might have to exhaust a lot of treatments." It is so much kinder AND more correct!

Although I am soooo much better than I was a few years ago, and I can sometimes have mostly painfree days...I hate thinking that my life will forever be just "getting by" and managing the pain. It's almost worse when the pain subsides but isn't gone because now I am even more unwilling to potentially cause a flare...so I avoid so much more. Whereas before I was already in pain, so what was a little more...

Anyways, I'm so happy for you! I'm glad you were able to find your food triggers because doing so made a huge difference for me.

Yes! Unfortunately sometimes I think doctors forget to be sensitive; obviously they need to manage expectations but when they say there's no cure it sounds like a death sentence. Another thing to note is "no cure" can actually mean "you might need to try a combination of things" e.g. in my case it was maybe 3 or 4 things. It is definitely not easy because of this - the patient has to do a lot of the legwork in getting better!! I'm glad you've seen some improvement and I wish you all the best for the future; I'm sure things can improve.

Also side note I forgot to make in my main post; during my worst point, referring to this forum I told my mum : LOOK at all these people suffering, no one gets better. She pointed out that if people do get better they stop posting and she's absolutely right. I wanted to close this nasty chapter in my life so I've been avoiding posting for a long time but I thought it was important.

I am so happy you are feeling better!!! thank you for sharing