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Yesterday at 3:19 am by doublej

» CURED FROM VULVODYNIA - PAIN FREE FOR 2 YEARS
Wed Dec 13, 2017 5:17 pm by Katiej

» Amitriptyline Success and new-found love
Mon Dec 11, 2017 2:47 am by hannah22

» Went Away and Came Back
Sun Dec 10, 2017 8:48 pm by lindsey_taylor

» Somebody please help me...
Sat Dec 09, 2017 5:46 pm by PainBlogger

» I think I know what causes vulvodynia-it's the memory of pain
Sat Dec 09, 2017 4:40 pm by mary jane

» 7 years later and life looks bleak :(
Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:37 am by sarisbaris

» Laser or Botox Injections for treating vulvodynia
Wed Dec 06, 2017 6:04 am by sarisbaris

» difficult to treat vaginal infections, un-understanding docotrs
Wed Dec 06, 2017 2:52 am by RainyShay77

Somebody please help me...

Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:05 am by Andlag

Hey everyone,

since I started being sexually active i often experienced burning in my vagina which was often worse during sex /around the time of my period or when using lubricants. I was never able to use tampons because the one time i tried putting them in it felt like acid was poured on my skin. Fast forward to 2 months ago when I got a UTI and an allergic reaction in my vagina. I thought it …

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7 years later and life looks bleak :(

Wed Dec 06, 2017 2:50 am by RainyShay77

So 7 years ago I had a case of BV...the antibiotic caused a horrible yeast infection which took 5 months to 'get rid of'. During this time I had allergic reactions to 2 of the yeast infection creams which magnified the pain. Over the past 7 years I've tried multiple rounds of physical therapy (they only slightly helped), chiropractic, nerve blocks, medications to target nerve pain (amitriptyline, …

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Amtriptyline, baclofen, gabapentin cream for provoked vestibuldynia

Mon Nov 20, 2017 8:15 pm by WVR00

Hello,
Has anyone had success with this cream in helping their vulvodynia? How long has it taken to help? I’ve had some success with it, but not completely better. I’ve been on it for a month. I️ was hoping to hear from some ladies who have had major success with this cream. I’m hoping for some encouragement here. This condition is so frustrating. I’m lucky enough to have access to two …

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Amitriptyline given for vulvodyina pain

Tue Oct 24, 2017 2:46 pm by katycrawford

Hi there,

After years of being misdiagnosed etc as most women have on this forum I have finally been diagnosed with vulvodynia (yay) and have been given the lowest dose of an antidepressant called Amitriptyline. Has anyone been on this before and has any positive (or negative) news to give me? Im feeling down already and I've only been taking it for a few days, I don't have much hope of it …

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New diagnosis, any advice whilst I wait for a specialist

Wed Oct 25, 2017 1:47 pm by Julesyjules

Hi,

I'm new here and wanted to ask for some advice whilst I wait to see a specialist nurse.

After urinary problems which lasted 7 weeks, I finally saw a urologist, who on examination discovered significant inflammation and called in a gynaecologist, who diagnosed vestibulitis. They referred me to a nurse who specialises in vulvar skin issues. That was 5 weeks ago, and I'm still waiting for the …

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Vulvodynia help

Tue Nov 14, 2017 4:27 pm by Katiej

Hi guys new here and newly diagnosed. So I had bv and then after alot of antibiotics and home remedies I still continued to have weird symptoms despite swabs being negative. Two seperate gynes have told me I have vulvodynia as a result of the area being overwhelmed. So first gave me lidocaine which xidnt do much. No I am on amitriptyline for the past 5 days. Seems to be kicking in a little (im a …

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New w/ Secondary Provoked Vestibuldynia

Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:46 pm by Birdy

Hi everyone,

I'm here because I'm pretty sure I have secondary provoked vestibuldynia, even though my gyno is still "optimistic" it is not.  My problem started six months ago when I got my second UTI in as many months (after going 25 years of life without one) and then ended up with a bad yeast infection (also my first one ever) thanks to the antibiotics.  Ever since the yeast …

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Newly diagnosed

Tue Oct 10, 2017 8:37 pm by Brevispink

Hello everyone. I have recently been diagnosed with unprovoked vulvodynia and would really appreciate some advice and support. I have had a chronic urine infection for 16 months and was on antibiotics for 9 of those months. I have been very uncomfortable for the entire time, but now I have absolutely unbearable stinging and burning all day with itching too. The infection has just about gone, …

Comments: 9

Recent "Poke" Pain - So Confused/Losing My Mind

Thu Oct 12, 2017 9:26 am by kelseybeth23

Long Story, but I am losing my mind and getting really depressed, so if I tell the full story maybe someone can help me.

Back in August I started to get an itch down there. Normally, in the past, when this would happen, I would change the way I wore my clothes, take more baths instead of showers, and use Monistat. This time, after about two weeks of no relief, I started to get concerned. I was …

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Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  alanasomething on Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:40 pm

Teehee thanks Ves! I know everyone is different, so I didn't want to be too harsh or frighten Mark!! The best thing to do is wait until the time is right and ask all these questions Smile.

Yeah, I hate the fact my head has all these thoughts about being normal and intimate, but the reality is, it's painful, embarrassing, degrading (as a woman when you can't BE a woman) and really off putting.

It's kinda like, when you're little you want to touch everything, but if you touch fire or something, it burns. Your brain remembers that pain and says DON'T TOUCH IT.
In our case, our brain KNOWS that sex hurts, so really what is the point? The body doesn't want to cause itself pain, that goes against everything it does (or should be doing!) to help us, and to let us survive. Pain is to tell us something is wrong, so the body isn't stupid (debatable) and learns to NOT want the things that hurt us.

Sometimes... chocolate on the other hand... not good for me.. but I still want it... MMM! king
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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Mouse on Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:43 am

Great posts Alana!

I'm glad things are going well Mark. Maybe let her lead the discussions about sex from now on. You now have all this knowledge which in incredibly supportive of you. She may just want to leave the subject alone. When pain dictates your life every day sometimes you just want it to fuck the hell off and not have to think about it.

Good luck with the date.

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Mark on Wed Apr 06, 2011 11:02 am

Hi All,

Thanks again for your helpful and supportive comments. Unfortunately things are not so good today Sad . My GF has come into work, but she's looking pale, tired and obviously in pain, from a guy point of view it's like how girls sometimes look on the first day of their periods if they're not on the Pill, only worse. She came to see me, we went out for a chat. It's really bad today so no restaurant date. She says it tends to go in phases, 2-3 days not so bad (just itchy) then 2-3 days sometimes more when it's really burning. That's how it is now. She says it really hurts her to sit normally when it's like this Sad but she makes herself do it as she needs the job. I'm feeling terrible because I can't help thinking what we did at the weekend bought it on but she says it's like this most weeks so no reason to blame what we did. But now I'm beginning to get a better picture of what it must be like for her all the time. Poor girl, it's so unfair. I know it's unfair on everyone here who has the condition, but it's still hard to see her in pain like this and know it's like that for her about half the time.

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  noni on Wed Apr 06, 2011 2:00 pm

Hey Mark,

Sadly this is the nature of this condition. Just try to be as accomodating and flexible with her as possible.

Our "good days" are usually days where we still have pain but can work around it. Our "bad days" are when the pain and discomfort wont budge.

Dont blame yourself...theres so much blaming and guilt with this condition. Us ladies beat ourselves up about it...maybe if we had done this, or hadnt done such and such

Its just a crap condition. Period.

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  alanasomething on Wed Apr 06, 2011 4:38 pm

Mark wrote:Hi All,

Thanks again for your helpful and supportive comments. Unfortunately things are not so good today Sad . My GF has come into work, but she's looking pale, tired and obviously in pain, from a guy point of view it's like how girls sometimes look on the first day of their periods if they're not on the Pill, only worse. She came to see me, we went out for a chat. It's really bad today so no restaurant date. She says it tends to go in phases, 2-3 days not so bad (just itchy) then 2-3 days sometimes more when it's really burning. That's how it is now. She says it really hurts her to sit normally when it's like this Sad but she makes herself do it as she needs the job. I'm feeling terrible because I can't help thinking what we did at the weekend bought it on but she says it's like this most weeks so no reason to blame what we did. But now I'm beginning to get a better picture of what it must be like for her all the time. Poor girl, it's so unfair. I know it's unfair on everyone here who has the condition, but it's still hard to see her in pain like this and know it's like that for her about half the time.

The reason girls look like that on the first day of their periods is because they're in pain, they're tired, uncomfortable, but have to pretend everything is ok, especially if she works in a male environment, no one is going to have any sympathy for her (except you of course) but look at how you never would have guessed she had this illness before she told you?

Unfortunately, for most of the women on here including myself, this is exactly how this condition works. You can sometimes manage for a day or two, but then randomly, it just flares up and you have to cancel every plan you made, or go through with them (such as work) gritting your teeth and pretending you're ok. I'm glad you can see how much pain she is in, most people, even doctors have no sympathy or empathy for us whatsoever, I think that's the reason there isn't a lot of knowledge about this, because quite frankly, no one gives a shit.

There is no point blaming yourself for her bad day, even if you didn't go near her, she would still be like this today. It doesn't have to be set off by anything. It controls us, not the other way around, it decides when to ruin everything, we can try diets, medicines etc, but the reality is, we DON'T KNOW WHY it's like this, or what causes it to get worse (apart from the obvious aggravation - sex, tight jeans, etc) so we just have to put up with it until it decides it's crippled us enough for that day.

If I were you, dinner may be a nono because whilst she is sitting there (I'm going from my own experience here, remember everyone isn't the same!) you'll be talking about everything you want to talk about with her, and she'll probably be smiling and nodding and laughing but in her head she'll be like "OUCHOUCHOUCH IM ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!" and really, I think a night in, with some PJ's and a movie, maybe some food, would be better, then if she is sore, she's going to be in her own environment and it wont be weird or embarrassing if she has to jump up from pain, or she can lie on the bed and watch some TV with you, lying is much better than sitting.

Maybe suggest something like that Smile? The worst thing is having plans then doing NOTHING and sitting on your own because of this, just always be ready to alter one plan for another! Very Happy

PS: Excuse all my spelling and grammar mistakes, I've only started this medicine yesterday but already I'm beginning to go ye olde dyslexic way
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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  noni on Thu Apr 07, 2011 4:07 am

Hey alana I think your comments are spot on!

I also recommend a night in...in PJs!

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Sarah001 on Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:17 am

Yep, a night in with a film and comfy clothes is exactly what I'd want rather than going out, a no pressure environment so sex of any kind is completely off the menu. The two of you have so much to learn about each other you could waffle all night long! And the flare up happening so early on in your relationship is a good way to show you can handle it and it won't ruin things and for your gf to feel closer to you emotionally and more secure about it. You could even take your pj's too so she doesn't feel odd in hers!! Let us know what you decide to do and how it goes, most of us are living through you at the moment!! Laughing
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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Sebby (Admin) on Thu Apr 07, 2011 7:29 pm


Just caught up on this thread!

Firstly Mark you are doing wonders just like was said for restoring our faith in men! Smile

I would say that you have nothing to feel guilty about. Your are sensitive to her condition and needs and obviously care greatly about her.

I'm single at present but if I started dating a man I can safely say that to start with I would so engage in 'outercourse' as we call it. Even if I knew there was a chance it could cause pain later on. You know why? because I just wana stick two fingers up at Vulvodynia and not let it stop me getting some form of sexual pleasure.

Yes my sex drive may not be high and this is obviously because I have come to associate my lady bits with pain. Part of breaking this cycle is to engage in sexual activity so that the women can start to also associate her vulval area with pleasure.

This helps psychologically as it helps to break the conditioning the brain has gone through to only associate sexuality with pain. This also helps physically as arousal helps to increase blood flow to the area with all the lovely nutrients and oxygen the vulvar needs to get healthy again

When she is in pain, give her a hug and empathise which I am sure you are doing

Good luck Smile

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  noni on Thu Apr 07, 2011 11:40 pm

Sebbys advice is absolutely spot on!

We cannot let vulvodynia dictate and control our lives!

How are we ever suppose to get better if we keep avoiding pleasureable things that everyone else takes for granted ??? We deserve what this life has to offer just like anyone else.

Im so tired of "seeking my vulvas permission" !!!!!!

Oh vulva is it OK if I eat this piece of chocolate? Would it be agreeable if I wore underwear today? Are you in the mood for walking today?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !
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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Mark on Sun Apr 10, 2011 6:35 pm

Hi Everyone,

Thanks again for the support Very Happy . We didn't meet up at all on Wednesday night, she didn't feel like it, so we spoke on the phone and got together on Thursday after work, as someone suggested just slobbing about in her flat. She was still in a lot of pain, a bit tearful, it wasn't nice at all to see her like that. This will sound a bit strange but I half wondered if I should try hurting my own 'bits' to see what it's like and put myself in the same position.

Friday night was a bit better, she was up for a meal out then back to hers and I stayed the night but nothing sexual. Things weren't 100% by yesterday morning but she was feeling horny so I was happy to oblige Very Happy . A couple of people here have said that vulvodynia reduces desire, but so far I'm finding when my GF isn't so bad she actually has a pretty high sex drive, i.e. she has several orgasms per session, big ones, and if I try to lift my head or whatever for a bit she pushes me back down there, quite aggressively in fact, so I wonder whether it kind of builds up inside of her when she has the burning then when it turns to the itching it combines with that to make her pretty frustrated. Plus, she doesn't believe in female masturbation, so I guess it means she can't take care of things for herself.

We were together all of yesterday and today until about an hour ago and so far there has been no return of the bad burning sensation. Also she says she thinks it's partly linked to what she eats, which is a whole can of worms.

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  itchyandscratchy on Mon Apr 11, 2011 4:00 pm

Aww, this thread is so heartwarming. There must be something about Marks lol, that's my boyfriend's name also, he's been quite uderstanding about my various issues.
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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Sebby (Admin) on Mon Apr 11, 2011 7:02 pm


Yes noni

My favorite quote of the moment is "Dont let what you cant do interfer with what you can do"


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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  noni on Mon Apr 11, 2011 10:05 pm

Sebby youre so right!

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Mark on Sun Apr 17, 2011 8:14 pm

Hi everyone,

I'm just back home from another weekend with my new GF Very Happy . It was fantastic, right up till mid-afternoon when we were out in the park and her pain came on Crying or Very sad . She always has the itching, but it's when it turns into a burning pain that it really affects her life. This time it was bad enough to have her curling up into a ball with her legs apart, while we were out, which makes her feel very self-conscious. Thankfully she was in a long gipsy skirt Very Happy - anything shorter or tighter and she could have been in trouble. I had to take her home.

I feel bad about complaining because any problems I have dating someone with vulvodynia are nothing compared to what it must be like to be suffering from the condition, but it is quite difficult. It's hard to plan anything in advance because you don't know how she's going to be, full-on sex isn't possible (OK, she has offered, maybe once a week, but only because she thought it was necessary to 'put out' to get and keep a man, but I know it would hurt her and cause pain for several days so I've said no), it's very stressful to see her in such intense pain from a part of the body that normally brings such pleasure and not to be able to do anything to help her, it stops her from doing a lot of things (it would have been nice to go out for a bike ride today, but that would be like some kind of torture for her), it limits what she can wear (OK, being a typical man I like the fact that she wears skirts and dresses and goes bare-legged even when it's cold and most girls are in trousers or ugly opaque tights, but she has a nice figure and it would be good to see her in nice snug jeans sometimes but I know that isn't possible) and also it is embarrassing.

Also this will sound terribly selfish but when it comes to the intimate side of things I love all the 'outercourse' because obviously with vulvodynia making full-on sex impossible it's a lot easier than with other girls for me to ask if I can go down on my GF, and as long as she doesn't have the burning she is always keen on it, but she's a very good looking girl and a fantastic kisser and I do get quite frustrated and wish I could have some kind of release too, especially when we are together for several days or nights running and I don't get a chance to be alone and take care of things myself as it were. I wonder how other guys who date girls with vulvodynia cope with this kind of thing, maybe they just get used to it? It must be even harder if living together all the time. My GF is very special and even though we've only been dating a short time I'd be thinking about it (she has been dropping hints) in normal circumstances, but it's harder given her condition.

Sorry for all the information and a bit of a rant but it's all in my mind at the minute Shocked .

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  noni on Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:50 am

Hey Mark,

From all that you have written on here, I think you are a wonderful specimen of a man! Do you have a brother?

Anyways, I can tell that you`re starting to get a better picture of this condition, all the complications, and emotions that plague us. There are no easy answers or right versus wrong...each woman is different. With that said, with any activity, you would have to consider the pain implications.

Im sure she would look amazing in jeans...I certainly used to Razz

Oh well, its rather ironic how we appear more feminine in our attire apart from all the gals in skinny jeans...when sometimes we feel a lot less feminine/attractive. Not to dwell on the negative...but it has been true of my feelings at times.

Like I have said before, this girl has guts to have been so forthcoming...Im not there yet...Im afraid of rejection...its a hurdle for me to overcome. But I think its best to have an honest and open line of communication.

God bless you Mark, I hope there are more men like you out there ! *crossing fingers*

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Mark on Mon Apr 18, 2011 8:00 am

Hi Noni,

Thanks for your kind comments Very Happy . Sadly I don't have a brother, though actually I'm nothing special, honestly. In fact I think I'm a pretty bad boyfriend to be thinking selfish things about the impact on me of my girlfriend having this horrible medical condition.

Yes, it sounds cruel in a way but the thing about vulvodynia making it difficult to wear trousers or tights is an advantage from a male point of view, at least for those of us who like a nice pair of legs Very Happy . When I first met my GF it was at work and she was in a very flattering black pencil skirt and stilettos with bare legs. It was the middle of January and all the other girls were in either trousers or thick woolly tights, so obviously she caught my eye Very Happy . Actually this will sound rather sexist but I wonder whether it is really natural for women to wear such things, because I used to date a girl a couple of years back who was often getting bouts of thrush and one of the ways for her to get rid of it was to go without trousers or tights for a week or two.

Anyway, what I'm finding apart from the sexual frustration (from a male point of view it's very difficult to go a whole weekend with a flirtatious and beautiful girl you have feelings for and do very intimate things with her and not get any release myself, if you know what I mean) is that it's very hard to plan things. She can't go on holiday for instance, because it would be impossible for her to sit still on a plane if her pain was acute. It's very sad.

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Mouse on Mon Apr 18, 2011 10:30 am

Hi Mark,

There are some great resources out there to make sure everyone is happy. I posted an article on outercourse a while back I just can't find it at the moment.

Check this website also, while it appears fairly mainstream you can ask questions and get very sensible answers. I'll keep looking for the article.

http://www.a-womans-touch.com/sex_counselor.php?articleID=3071

Vicki

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Mark on Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:07 pm

Hi Vicki,

Thanks for the link. I wouldn't say the problem is a lack of libido. My GF has plenty of that when she doesn't have the burning pain, and I'm tiring myself out and getting a sore tongue trying to satisfy her (but also enjoying it Very Happy ). Also there's nothing wrong with my libido either, without being too graphic I'm aroused pretty much the whole time I'm with her. The problem is mainly me getting frustrated because it's all one way due to her condition Mad .

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Sarah001 on Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:21 pm

Am I reading this right Mark, are you saying that you don't even get a blow job or a hand job here and there? If that's the case and you're getting nothing whatsoever to satisfy you then I think a chat might be in order of the day! Our condition doesn't mean we can't use other methods to satisfy our men (if we have one) that exclude the vulva area and penetration. My ex had blow jobs literally on demand because we couldn't have intercourse (ok, that didn't quite work out and he left me for someone else anyway but you don't sound much like him!). It sounds like the V has you tiptoeing around your GF because you're frightened to offend her or ask for anything for yourself. I think you need to have a talk about it and discuss in detail what both of you need and want and where the boundaries are so your GF isn't worried touching you will lead to sex (I know it won't but you know how it is) and can happily return some of the effort!
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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Mark on Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:45 pm

Hi Sarah,

Yes, that's right, she isn't doing either of those things for me. She has offered but she doesn't like the things you mentioned. I don't want to go into too much detail but she was abused by her father in law and they remind her of that time. I guess I could do it myself but again I don't think that would be very considerate of me. I know that some women who have v cannot receive any kind of sex at all due to the condition. I don't know whether that was the case for your ex but if it was it sounds like he got a lot and you nothing, in our case it's the other way round, which seems only fair.

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Sarah001 on Mon Apr 18, 2011 2:29 pm

Well without wanting to sound negative there is going to have to be some contribution on her part at some point I think, the two of you still need to have a chat about do's and don'ts so perhaps looking at all the ways she could do things for you and pick out some that she is ok about is the way forward. I think it was Sebby who mentioned something about a link for outercourse, perhaps there are ideas there that she would try? Would she (and you) be ok about massaging? Alot of men can orgasm with a good oily massage that isn't technically a hand job but is if you see what I mean? There has to be something she's willing to try, that chat is really going to have to happen if the relationship is going to progress. Sorry if I sound all negative, I'm sure some of the other ladies on here would word it more positively!
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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Mark on Mon Apr 18, 2011 4:15 pm

Hi Sarah,

The oily massage you describe certainly sounds like fun, as to the blow jobs on demand Very Happy . But I think my GF's confidence is quite low at the minute and she is also rather distrustful of men so I don't want to risk things by asking for anything from her, I think if I just give to her without wanting anything back, she will come to trust me and feel more and more relaxed with me, and maybe one day she will offer Very Happy . And even if she doesn't, I guess I was single before so not getting any, and at least I'm getting to pleasure her now, plus outside of the sex side of things I get her company and more kisses and cuddles than I know what to do with Very Happy .



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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Mouse on Tue Apr 19, 2011 12:49 am

Hi Mark,

I wasn't really talking about libido, more other ways for you to get satisfaction. I think the other girls have covered that nicely but I think the more you move into a relationship it's important that everyones needs are met. Keep an open mind about counselling, it really does sound like she could do with some. Maybe some couple stuff could be in order eventually. Also if you want to use that site as a resource -maybe ask the question on there. I understand you are walking on eggshells but eventually everyone has a part to play in a relationship and communication is key to that.

Mouse

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Mouse on Tue Apr 19, 2011 9:25 am

Hi Mark,

I found the othercourse stuff. There's also some great stuff on improving the health of the pelvic floor -check it out. Ideally healing the beast is the goal for all of us.

http://www.a-womans-touch.com/documents/AWT%20Othercourse.pdf
http://www.a-womans-touch.com/documents/VaginalRenewal10_withTM.pdf
http://www.a-womans-touch.com/documents/PelvicFloorBooklet.pdf

Vicki

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

Post  Mark on Thu Apr 21, 2011 9:05 am

Thanks again for your advice. I should probably also make clear that my GF HAS offered to do all kinds of things for me, ranging from full-on sex to BJs to anal. I couldn't possibly accept the first of these because I know it would bring on her pain and she'd have it for several days (it's a sign of how kind she is that she has even offered). As for the second, I think it would be upsetting for her because of the abuse she suffered, and the third I've always thought is what thuggish men who hate women or are secretly gay get them to do to humiliate them.

She has very sensitive erogenous zones, more than other girls I've been with before, so I've offered to give her an erotic massage with baby oil over the weekend, and I'm hoping maybe she will decide to return the favour Very Happy . Of course, I know that our plans for both the bedroom side of things and days out etc could be ruined if her pain returns, but I'm beginning to realise that's what happens when vulvodynia is in your life Crying or Very sad .

Mark

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Re: Advice for man please on dating girl with acute vulvodynia

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