Log in

I forgot my password

Latest topics
New diagnosis, any advice whilst I wait for a specialist

Wed Oct 25, 2017 1:47 pm by Julesyjules

Hi,

I'm new here and wanted to ask for some advice whilst I wait to see a specialist nurse.

After urinary problems which lasted 7 weeks, I finally saw a urologist, who on examination discovered significant inflammation and called in a gynaecologist, who diagnosed vestibulitis. They referred me to a nurse who specialises in vulvar skin issues. That was 5 weeks ago, and I'm still waiting for the …

Comments: 1

Amitriptyline given for vulvodyina pain

Tue Oct 24, 2017 2:46 pm by katycrawford

Hi there,

After years of being misdiagnosed etc as most women have on this forum I have finally been diagnosed with vulvodynia (yay) and have been given the lowest dose of an antidepressant called Amitriptyline. Has anyone been on this before and has any positive (or negative) news to give me? Im feeling down already and I've only been taking it for a few days, I don't have much hope of it …

Comments: 2

Vulvodynia help

Tue Nov 14, 2017 4:27 pm by Katiej

Hi guys new here and newly diagnosed. So I had bv and then after alot of antibiotics and home remedies I still continued to have weird symptoms despite swabs being negative. Two seperate gynes have told me I have vulvodynia as a result of the area being overwhelmed. So first gave me lidocaine which xidnt do much. No I am on amitriptyline for the past 5 days. Seems to be kicking in a little (im a …

Comments: 3

New w/ Secondary Provoked Vestibuldynia

Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:46 pm by Birdy

Hi everyone,

I'm here because I'm pretty sure I have secondary provoked vestibuldynia, even though my gyno is still "optimistic" it is not.  My problem started six months ago when I got my second UTI in as many months (after going 25 years of life without one) and then ended up with a bad yeast infection (also my first one ever) thanks to the antibiotics.  Ever since the yeast …

Comments: 4

Newly diagnosed

Tue Oct 10, 2017 8:37 pm by Brevispink

Hello everyone. I have recently been diagnosed with unprovoked vulvodynia and would really appreciate some advice and support. I have had a chronic urine infection for 16 months and was on antibiotics for 9 of those months. I have been very uncomfortable for the entire time, but now I have absolutely unbearable stinging and burning all day with itching too. The infection has just about gone, …

Comments: 9

Recent "Poke" Pain - So Confused/Losing My Mind

Thu Oct 12, 2017 9:26 am by kelseybeth23

Long Story, but I am losing my mind and getting really depressed, so if I tell the full story maybe someone can help me.

Back in August I started to get an itch down there. Normally, in the past, when this would happen, I would change the way I wore my clothes, take more baths instead of showers, and use Monistat. This time, after about two weeks of no relief, I started to get concerned. I was …

Comments: 5

Does anyone else experience this?

Sat Oct 14, 2017 5:21 pm by Angelmegs

Hi— im new here. Im incredibly desperate so if anyone has any suggestions i would greatly appreciate it. Im a 20 year old female with vulvodynia and vaginismus. I was on the birth control pill (junel fe lo estrin) from age 13-18 because of severe menstrual pain. I used the xulane patch for a few months when i was 18 but eventually stopped BC altogether because it interferes with my med for …

Comments: 0

Post Full Vestibulectomy - 5 Years Later - Please Read

Tue May 02, 2017 6:18 pm by jen007

Hi All,

It's been awhile since I've written a new topic on the forum. Wondering if any of the same ladies are still here. I've come back to update you all on my post vestibulectomy results. I can't remember if I've done an update on my current state, so forgive me if this is repeated information... I can't remember how to view my old posts! Anyway, let me get on with my update.

For 4 years post …

Comments: 4

Do you ever worry that you're making it up?

Fri May 27, 2016 6:50 am by Lucci

Hello,

I was diagnosed with Vaginismus and Vulvar Vestibulitis 10 years ago. I was 18 and scared and moving across the country for college, but luckily was able to find a doctor who specialized in 'Women's Health' who immediately put me into physical therapy. Long story short, I've been in and out of the system ever since.

A few years into treatment, I had the diagnosis of PTSD added on for …

Comments: 7


New member who needs to talk!!

View previous topic View next topic Go down

New member who needs to talk!!

Post  Kate on Tue Jul 05, 2011 7:52 am

Hi everyone,

I've just joined up to this site after recently watching an expose on a woman who suffers from vulvodynia, like me. It was the first instance in which I had heard another sufferer talk about it, even though I was diagnosed over a year ago. I personally have localised provoked vulvodynia and am doing my very best to combat the issue without a physio. I would go (I saw a physio for a few months after being diagnosed), if it wasn't for the cost. I'm struggling to live on my current salary as it is, and something doesn't feel right about spending half my rent on 30 minutes with a woman who just hooks me up to a machine and listens to the beeps!

I have a history of chronic pain/nerve syndromes, as I was diagnosed with regional pain syndrome when I was 13. It took a really long and intensive course of treatment to get me through that, and to this day I still feel like the pain will never completely leave me. But I never expected to be diagnosed with vulvodynia- I'd only been having sex for a year when my symptoms began!! I suppose I'm lucky that I was diagnosed only 5 months later, as I know there are women out there who make half the progress I do, in double the time.

Initially I worked really hard on the physio and the various exercises I was given (which culminated to an hours worth of work every evening), but I became quickly disheartened with the lack of progress. I even tried Amitryptaline, but that did nothing othen than make me fat and grumpy. Ironic that it is in essence an antidepressant.
Topical anethetic creams were no use either- whenever I tried to have sex I ended up sobbing uncontrollably from the intense pain irregardless of such measures. I can't describe the pain correctly; the closest I get is likening it to a burning hot poker with grating apparatus attached to the sides. The only treatment that felt productive was daily sessions with a small vibrator. These days I am now capable of using a vibrator any normal woman would use, and that provides me with some solace. Although, in saying that, a vibrator being held by the person who is totally aware of any sensitive spots is far different from a penis controlled by another party...
Sex still hurts. A lot. I still often require an ice pack afterwards and there are usually some tears.

These days I barely do any exercises or work towards making this better. The emotional stress that is attached to such a regime became too much for me to handle. I do Zumba twice a week (which has helped immensely), changed contraceptive pills (also very helpful), and once in a blue moon I do relaxation and will use the vibrator.
Luckily I have an incredibly supportive boyfriend who has stuck by me through the whole horrible mess. He even participated during my relaxation sessions!

I would love to chat with anyone who is going through the same thing... I am so in need of an open set of ears that understand how heartwrenching this all is.

Kate

Posts : 11
Join date : 2011-07-05
Age : 30
Location : Auckland, New Zealand

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: New member who needs to talk!!

Post  Kate on Tue Jul 05, 2011 8:02 am

Also- I would love some advice in terms of buying the right underwear that won't irriate my urethra/clitoris area ALL DAY LONG (NZ stores), and advice on how to keep your man happy when sex occurs on a monthly rather than weekly basis (if he's lucky!)

Kate

Posts : 11
Join date : 2011-07-05
Age : 30
Location : Auckland, New Zealand

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: New member who needs to talk!!

Post  noni on Tue Jul 05, 2011 10:44 am

Hello Kate,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I find it interesting that you mention that prior to V you had a pain syndrome. I cant help but think that vulvodynia is just a small piece of a larger puzzle. Like its a symptom of something going wrong in our bodies and not just specifically a genital pain...but rather a sign of other issues.

Some of the ladies on here also have burning sensations in other parts of the body, such as the hands and feet. I think this points to something going haywire in th e nervous system, as a whole.

Kate I can also relate to your lack of motivation...I just kinda wish this could go away on its own. But I know thats not really gonna happen. It takes alot of work and willpower to get better. But somedays it hard to accept that my vulva/vagina have so much control over me. Dictating what I can wear, eat, and do in terms of physical capability. Oh did I mention the depression, theres some of that too. And bouts of anxiety related ofcourse to V.

So, yeah... your in good company here !!!!

Noni Smile
avatar
noni

Posts : 242
Join date : 2011-01-10
Age : 30
Location : Ontario

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: New member who needs to talk!!

Post  lolainslacks on Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:50 pm

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry I have nothing very helpful to say, but I was wondering whether you met your boyfriend after you were diagnosed, or whether you were together before all this started? I'm just curious, because I can't imagine ever meeting any guy who would be okay with my situation.

Your experiences sound very much like mine (when I say mine, I mean my experiences using dilators, not having actual sex, as I have never been able to). My vulvodynia is 'provoked' as well, and it's exactly like a hot poker with grating apparatus, that's such an accurate description. Lidocaine helps me a lot during, but afterwards I have so much burning it's insane. I find it really comforting to know that there are women out there who have the same pain as I do, but are able to maintain relationships.

I completely understand how difficult it is to stay motivated and continue treatment on your own. I am supposed to be using these dilators with the lidocaine every single night, and it takes over an hour of my time. And it's so difficult because I get depressed about this all so easily, and my mood affects how well I get on with the dilators. If I am stressed or upset, my muscles tense, and I can't stop that from happening, which means that I can't use the larger dilators and my pain is more intense, which makes me even more upset, and I end up a complete mess. Because of how emotionally devastating this process is, I often don't bother doing any of it, which of course halts my progress. I have to work really hard to force myself to continue day to day.

Anyway, the point is, I understand your pain, physical and emotional. And I'm glad you've found this forum, because talking to people who are going through the same things as you can be enormously comforting.

Good luck, I really hope you find something that works for you.

lolainslacks

Posts : 115
Join date : 2011-04-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: New member who needs to talk!!

Post  jules on Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:38 pm

Kate,

Welcome to our forum. I know we can be here for you to listen. As for underwear, I wear lose fitting thongs. there are some that kind of hang on me and don't rub up against my vulva. I have generalized V...my pain is all over my vulva. I describe it as someone holding a blowtorch to my vulva. i can't sit on a chair ever. i have to sit on a foam cushion (donut). i have a big bag and i carry my cushion to restaurants, movies etc. i have one at home, in my car and at work. As for treatments. I do P.T (my pelvic walls aren't too bad-but sex hurts way up inside). i started acupuncture 3 weeks ago. I likely would not be able to do Zumba. it would light my V on fire. i have found that working out is my enemy..which is so sad, because i was huge into working out. i try to do some and usually pay afterward. Have you tried other medications? I am on Gabepentin, Lyrica and Cymbalta. I also take Percocet 3x a day for burning pain. Geez, when i see it in writing it looks like i could own my own pharmacy. for me the most relief i had was the combination of Gabepentin and Lyrica. but, i decreased the lyrica because of a small amount of weight gain. not a good idea. i think i will go back up in lyrica (used for Fibromyalgia). So sorry you cry after sex. When i can't have sex....i give my husband a blow job or hand job. some women say they have outer course.... but, it's hard to allow any touching if the outside hurts. one thing i learned in therapy is that intimacy is only 15% sex. intimacy is hand holding, hugging, sharing emotions etc. you can be close w/out sexual intercourse. men love bj's...don't know if we do...but if you're looking to please him, that's a great way. hope your pain decreases...stay in touch w/ us.

jules

Posts : 225
Join date : 2010-03-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: New member who needs to talk!!

Post  Aussie on Wed Jul 06, 2011 6:43 am

Hi Kate,

Welcome to the forum!

I have found a vibrator really helps me to. I am at the stage now after months and months and months of PT that sex for the most part feels like sex. With stinging near the entrence during thrusting. The vibrator seems to massage the trigger points and it is easier to get turned on that way because I am scared of hubbys hands (he doesnt know where the pain is at it moves from day to day) Sometimes pain is way less with sex than what I experience daily :s

I thought this may be useful to you. I am seing a womens health physio and natrapath here in Aus and she has prescribed Blackmoors SPIP and MP65 (google them) I have to take a heap before sex which has on 3 occasions stopped the burning afterwards but not during. (the burning afterwards was genrally worse)

I am also about to start taking them daily to see if it will combat the daily 24/7 pain.

It doesn’t matter what the initial match is that lit the fire for you. It might have been a nasty episode of thrush that was hard to beat. It might have been a bout of urinary tract infections with repeat antibiotics. It might have been a fall on your bottom on the ice-skating rink, a fall on your crotch onto a tree branch or bike seat, a childbirth tear, scarring from gynaecological surgery, one too many IVF rounds, or a painful medical procedure. It might even have been a combination of the above! Regardless of how it started, once the acute inflammation has resolved, the ‘’imprint’’ of the episode remains – in the nerves, muscles and organs in the pelvis. It’s like a ‘’memory’’ of what has gone before. Your muscles in the pelvis tense up, trying to protect you from future trauma – but sometimes it is exactly this muscle tension that promotes the problem. The muscle tension restricts your circulation and alters the functions within your pelvis. It might pull your pelvic joints out of kilter. Once your joints are a bit out of whack, your muscles have to work differently to compensate, leading to more muscle tension and spasm. Sex hurts, so you unconsciously tense the muscles even more, and you don’t produce good lubrication. Have you spotted the ‘’vicious cycle’’?
Then let’s say you’re a bit ‘’run-down’’ nutritionally. You haven’t been eating as well as you could. Or, you are eating ok, but stress is making you ‘’use up’’ your nutrients faster and need more of them than you’re getting. Or, you are on medication that decreases certain nutrients in the body, like the Pill. Let’s take magnesium, for example – when you are low, your muscles have difficulty relaxing. It keeps the vicious cycle of muscle tension going, which increases your pelvic pain. Another example: zinc. When your zinc levels are low, your body doesn’t keep or build muscle well. So the muscle that you DO have has to work too hard, creating tension and spasm in the pelvis. Low zinc and iron predisposes to vaginal infections, which also adds ‘’fuel to the fire’’... look into this.

It is interesting you have RPS - I have burning in my hands and feet (it seems to have settled since coming off all drugs) but I def agree that v is a part of a bigger picture for some of us for sure! stupid nervous systems.

As for knickers. Bonds are pretty soft I find the boyshorts are best as they don't have elastic digging in so you don't have to worry about knickers lines. I buy them a size too big for comfort.

Claire

Aussie

Posts : 227
Join date : 2011-03-15
Age : 28
Location : Queensland, Australia

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: New member who needs to talk!!

Post  Kate on Wed Jul 06, 2011 9:16 am

Thank you so much for your replies! Finally I am able to discuss this with people who GET IT.
My boyfriend had been with me for just over a year when the symptoms began. He was the one I lost my virginity to and we've always been very initimate- he is great for cuddles and kisses and holding hands! He was with me when I was diagnosed and has been fully supportive throughout the whole experience. We are just about to reach the three year mark and we've never been stronger.
He is the kind of guy that craves being close, and luckily for me, he doesn't equate that with sex. Of course, he is still a male, and I feel incredibly guilty for witholding something that is often taken for granted in relationships. He tends to get upset by the fact that I am in so much pain, especially when I don't tell him- he can still sense it. This turns him off having sex because he is so afraid of hurting me. He is a quiet man, so sometimes I'm never completely sure about his feelings about this and what he wants... but he has stuck by me so I am reassured. He also makes an effort to assert his commitment regularly enough to keep me from getting paranoid.

One thing he doesn't like to witness is my little despressive episodes after thinking/talking/reading about my condition. It pains him to see me cry.

I do agree with the suggestion that perhaps my RPS and Vulvodynia are part of a broader neurological issue, and I'm currently experiencing phantom pain in my gums/jaw that no dentist can seem to diagnose... I bet that scenario rings some bells! I do tend to tense my muscles without realising, and I hate myself for it, because I am so aware of the vicious cycle of it all.
I think my symptoms presented themselves after some bad bouts of thrush and UTI's, combined with the death of a family member and conflict in the family as a result.
My RPS was the result of a bad Irish dancing injury.

I am so glad I am still able to exercise, and I really feel for those who cannot. I can't image what that must be like for you. Going to Zumba has helped me to build and loosen muscles within my pelvic and hip area, and I have lost 10kg.. now down to a trim 55 which seems to put far less pressure on my petite bones! It has been the best thing to come out of all of this (bar my wonderful boyfriend). It's the one thing I have stayed motivated to.... as you all can relate to the lack of motivation one feels when suffering from vulvodynia!!

Once again thank you all so much... I will sleep a bit easier tonight knowing I'm not alone Smile

Kate

Posts : 11
Join date : 2011-07-05
Age : 30
Location : Auckland, New Zealand

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: New member who needs to talk!!

Post  Sarah001 on Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:39 am

Hi and welcome, Claire's spot on with her description of the situation. I've had chronic pelvic pain for nearly 7 years now due to overly lax ligaments and my V set in nearly a year and a half ago after a few years of VVS which didn't bother me much. I have burning in my feet as well and I also managed to get Fibro because of all the other painful stuff I have going on so there's definitely a link between other pain and V. Has your doctor or dentist looked at TMJ for your jaw problem? That also seems to be a common finding along with V. Anyway, hope you enjoy talking to us girls here on the forum and get some ideas for treatment.
avatar
Sarah001

Posts : 1163
Join date : 2010-06-11
Age : 44
Location : UK

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: New member who needs to talk!!

Post  Zazu on Thu Jul 07, 2011 2:55 pm

Hi Kate,

I can definitely relate to your story. I've been with my partner for three years and I could describe him exactly the way you described yours. We haven't been able to have sex for a year and a half now. It's heart wrenching not to be able to share intercourse, but at least we are able to be romantic and intimate in other ways. I haven't found a way yet that really makes up for it though, but I'm still hoping that we will get there.
I have provoked vestibulodynia, so that horrible searing/acid burning pain on attempted penetration, aching/sore feeling with jeans so that I can't wear them any more, bike riding is a thing of the past, etc. etc. I also get flare ups of irritation elsewhere, or it feels like I'm being stabbed by the hair, and a lot of pain if I try to trim the hair down there (so I'm like a jungle! sorry for tmi). I have a lot of back pain and endometriosis too. We're all really similar but slightly different, eh?
I've tried a gabapentin/lidocaine compound cream which only increased the irritation, ami and gaba which just had intolerable side effects, and physio which I'm feeling really down about because it hasn't done much for me over the last 6 months. Going to the gyno soon to see what else I should do!
You have a really positive attitude about the things that have worked for you and a realistic one about the things that haven't, and I'm sure that's going to help you as you figure this out. Welcome to this forum! It really has helped me feel less isolated going thru all of this.
Be well!
xx
Katie

Zazu

Posts : 64
Join date : 2011-04-05
Location : Canada

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Hi Kate, from Piha....

Post  Mary on Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:33 pm

...Yes, not far from you :-) I travel around a bit...it helps keep me sane :-D

I'm not sure if you are refering to the NZ TV2 20/20 program that ran a few weeks ago when you say "I've just joined up to this site after recently watching an expose on a woman who suffers from vulvodynia, like me. It was the first instance in which I had heard another sufferer talk about it"...??? I ask because if there is any other media being shown in NZ then I would like to not only see it myself but put a link to this on my blog:
www.happyinmyskinnz.blogspot.com

Gosh, you have so much awareness of your body and condition. I feel very humbled by hearing you describe what you are experiencing. The strength in your voice. I'm now in my 50's and only just taking ownership of my situation and history. I was so ignorant, frightened and in denial for so long and let opportunities go by to get help because....why?? I was too shy and embarrassed and ashamed.

Reading all these wonderful women here makes me realise how much an individual challenge this condition is:
It is not just about the physical manifestation which is complicated for sure.
There is also our upbringing and social context that we are in.
This also affects our responces.
It affects our levels of confidence and self-belief.
Also the support we have (or lack of it) has a huge impact.
...the internet has proved to be a very powerful tool in providing this...how else would we have made contact?

Sometimes when I feel "down" I remind myself that a century ago women like us were raped repeatedly within marriage as they were considered to be the property of their husbands who had so-called "conjugal rights"...or even sent to lunatic asylums for being thought mad...or into a nunnery...

I think of a giflfriend a long time ago in the 1980's telling me that her sister had committed suicide. No-one could understand why. She had had relationship problems but no-one knew she was desparate enough to take her own life. I wonder whether that girl had been hiding physical and emotional pain that could have been explained by a diagnosis of Vulvodynia. I wonder whether she just felt so unable to tell anyone - so alone and lonely in her feeling of "difference" to what she saw was achievable by everyone else around her, that the only way out was a final exit. Lord knows, I thought about it myself.

This is an amazing thing that this condition is coming out, not just in New Zealand but globally. I feel that by participating in this I am reclaiming the lost years that I was tied-up in a dark little bundle of confusion.

Take care Kate, Maryx
avatar
Mary

Posts : 7
Join date : 2011-07-01
Age : 58
Location : Northland, New Zealand

View user profile http://happyinmyskinnz.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: New member who needs to talk!!

Post  Kate on Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:13 am

Hi Mary,

Yes it was the 20 20 show that I was referring to. So you must be one of the people interviewed? If the person I'm thinking of was you, then I remember thinking that you were so positive and supportive towards the lady who was the focus of the programme. I would love to meet you sometime to chat- is there a support group in Auckland that you attend?

Kate

Kate

Posts : 11
Join date : 2011-07-05
Age : 30
Location : Auckland, New Zealand

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Hi Kate, from Mangawhai now....

Post  Mary on Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:36 am

....yes I am often in Auckland and Richelle is heading back up again in a few weeks from her homebase of Invercargill for further treatment.
We have often talked of a Support Group (which would be something more like just a friendly relaxed get-together) for other women like ourselves.
Richelle's & my friendship has been so mutually beneficial for us both although it's not always been an easy way to get to know someone in such intense circumstances.
But we have grown a respect for each other and have encouraged each other. So we understand the need for like-minded company now and then, to even have a laugh and be light-hearted together about the weirdness of V!! This condition is not as simple as a broken arm that heals...it is the implications for how you manage your life, your lovelife, your family-life, your work & interests are also affected deeply. These are things we can share.
So send me an email Kate to the address that is listed on the blog:
happyinmyskinnz@gmail.com
A young women from Canada who is on this Forum has been in touch with me recently who has also started a similar group up over there. So I guess it just takes a few of us to be brave and get together and see where it leads. How does that sound to you?!
All the best, Mary
avatar
Mary

Posts : 7
Join date : 2011-07-01
Age : 58
Location : Northland, New Zealand

View user profile http://happyinmyskinnz.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Will be in Auckland this week Kate....

Post  Mary on Fri Jul 15, 2011 8:16 pm

...just thinking if you might prefer a casual coffee with me? If so I'm in Auckland on 21st, this Thurs. Send me an email to happyinmyskin@gmail.com if you are free. Take care, Mary
avatar
Mary

Posts : 7
Join date : 2011-07-01
Age : 58
Location : Northland, New Zealand

View user profile http://happyinmyskinnz.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

Re: New member who needs to talk!!

Post  Mouse on Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:08 am

Hi Mary,

Are you visiting New Plymouth anytime soon? Smile Smile

Mouse

Posts : 303
Join date : 2010-09-09
Location : New Zealand

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Hi "Mouse"....

Post  Mary on Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:23 am

Lovely to hear from you. I think you were one of the reasons I was so elated to find this forum as it was amazing to see someone from NZ already on here.
Well, I think this getting together is gathering momentum as there are a couple of women up North who responded to the 20/20 TV program who want to have a chat over coffee. I hope to meet Kate as well who is also on this Forum.
I'm maybe driving up from Wellington to Auckland mid-August so it is not impossible that I detour your way. I think it is important to connect with each other...who knows where that might lead? It has been fabulous for Richelle and I to see the commonalities between us and be able to talk things out, with a bit of laughter at some parts of it to help get over the sadness...I'm sure you know what I mean?
Why not email me?
happyinmyskinnz@gmail.com
Maryxx
avatar
Mary

Posts : 7
Join date : 2011-07-01
Age : 58
Location : Northland, New Zealand

View user profile http://happyinmyskinnz.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

re:new member who needs to talk

Post  ria on Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:33 pm



Just want to say Hi Mary I can see you have had lots of information from the Ladies.


Take Care XX

Ria Very Happy

ria

Posts : 99
Join date : 2010-07-21

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: New member who needs to talk!!

Post  Heidi on Mon Jul 18, 2011 7:49 pm

Kate,
I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. I felt horribly guilty and confused when I started having trouble with vulvodynia almost 25 years ago (I had my first symptoms at 13 or 14, then it got really bad when I was 20. I'm 42 now). My first marriage didn't last. He was very resentful about living with a woman in constant pain and emotional anguish and not only was not supportive, but became emotionally abusive (I asked him to leave when I finally met some other women with VP who had very supportive husbands--the way your boyfriend sounds). That was when I was 25. Since then I have found a few effective treatments (I also have fibromyalgia and hypoglycemia) which have reduced my VP about 80% and my fibromyalgia pain completely!. I still can't have penetrative sex, but I can enjoy a lot of sexual activities and have had satisfying sexual relationships since my divorce. The trick I believe is 1.) Stop feeling guilty. It is not your fault. 2.) Believe that your are deserving and capable of a satisfying sexual relationship 3.) Find a supportive partner (sounds like you've got this) 4.) Re-define sex to mean ANYTHING sexual which does not cause you pain. If you have pain with intercourse stop having intercourse. It can only hurt your relationship, not help it to keep doing something that causes you severe physical and emotional pain. 5.) Get creative. There are a lot of ways you enjoy a person sexually that have nothing to do with intercourse. 6.) Wait to try intercourse again when you are feeling better.
Okay, the treatments that helped me . . . Low Oxalate Diet (a lot!), topical Estrace cream (enough to keep using it). Guaifenesin treatment for Fibromyalgia (which also helps a lot of women with VP syndrome). The things that didn't help one bit were all the steroid creams, numbing creams, barrier creams, "acid treatments" where they try to burn off the painful parts, and tri-cyclic antidepressants.
Take care and good luck.
Heidi
http://lowoxalatefamily.wordpress.com

Heidi

Posts : 28
Join date : 2011-07-17
Age : 49
Location : Missouri, USA

View user profile http://lowoxalatefamily.wordpress.com

Back to top Go down

Re: New member who needs to talk!!

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum