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Constant pain, I want to die.

Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:29 am by Meggiemay

I posted on here a few years ago but my symptoms went away with the inflammation. I didn't get so lucky this time.

For over three months, i've had terrible rawness, burning, soreness in the urethral/vestibule area and pressure/hypersensitivity in the clitoral area. I've also had some lower abdominal pressure and burning on my butt. I can barely walk! My gyno hasn't been much help. I'm on …

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Clitoris Issues

Tue Apr 28, 2015 8:17 pm by January

I am going crazyyy trying to figure out what's wrong. Please does anyone else have an issue similar to mine? I'm only 22. So, basically when my clit is lightly rubbed, there is no feeling. However, when rubbed vigorously and directly, the burning and tingling sensations shoot down my legs and feet as if coming to the end of an orgasm but with no good feeling leading up. It's so strange. What …

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New member

Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:37 pm by Lisa1627

Hi ladies. I am new to the forum. I have had what I think is vulvodynia caused from hsv 2. So not only do I have the burning vag but the constant feeling of being contagious. I can honestly say that I hate my life and myself right now. There are days when I think I would rather be dead. I tried the amitryptline and it helped but if it's only making my brain think I don't have pain then it's …

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Post Full Vestibulectomy - 5 Years Later - Please Read

Tue May 02, 2017 6:18 pm by jen007

Hi All,

It's been awhile since I've written a new topic on the forum. Wondering if any of the same ladies are still here. I've come back to update you all on my post vestibulectomy results. I can't remember if I've done an update on my current state, so forgive me if this is repeated information... I can't remember how to view my old posts! Anyway, let me get on with my update.

For 4 years post …

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Recovered from Vulvodynia

Thu May 04, 2017 9:42 pm by chancesunny

Hey everyone,

Im a new member on this forum and wanted to share my story so I can help anyone who is feeling helpless. Maybe what worked for me can work for you. I'll try to make this short so you can go get better!

I had vulvodynia for about 3-4 years. In the beginning, it started with pain that I thought was just a yeast infection and then I thought it was a urinary tract infection or …

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New here, my story and looking for advice

Wed Apr 26, 2017 9:02 am by rachiecakes

Hi All!

I was really hoping to get some feedback from everyone here - it's very hard dealing with an issue like this because no one really understands what I'm going through!

Im 28 years old I've had interstitial cystitis for 3 years - but never an vaginal issues. About 6 months ago I got a yeast infection following a course of antibiotics - similarly I developed IC after a bad UTI. The itching …

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New w/ Secondary Provoked Vestibuldynia

Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:46 pm by Birdy

Hi everyone,

I'm here because I'm pretty sure I have secondary provoked vestibuldynia, even though my gyno is still "optimistic" it is not.  My problem started six months ago when I got my second UTI in as many months (after going 25 years of life without one) and then ended up with a bad yeast infection (also my first one ever) thanks to the antibiotics.  Ever since the yeast …

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Male visitor

Wed Jan 18, 2017 11:19 pm by outsider

Hello!

I am a 25 year old guy who has erectile dysfunction following an injury a few years ago. I am here because I think that men and women with sexual dysfunction could benefit from dating each other. My experience has been that women have lost interest when they found out that penetrative sex was not possible with me.
So I am interested in learning more about female sexual disorders. Do young …

Comments: 3

New Here: Question/My Story

Mon Apr 03, 2017 2:00 am by overit14

Hi everyone. I came across this site by Googling "vulvar pain support". I feel like my case is different than most I read about so I was wondering if anyone else here experiences this in the way that I do.

This started in 2012 and has happened off and on since. I get really, really red and it's very painful, swollen and burns. Sometimes it may be a little itchy, but mostly it just …

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Started a new relationship

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Started a new relationship

Post  noni on Wed Jul 13, 2011 1:29 pm

Hey girls,

Im wondering if you girls can help me out. I have started a new relationship with a man who for the longest time was a best friend for me...and still is. He's a kind and caring man. Nevertheless, I still haven't gotten around to telling him about my condition. I'm scared and I dont know... I feel terrible for not telling him sooner and when I do tell him I'm worried he might go the other way.

Honesty is a big part in any relationship...and I have a track record of being in horrible relationships, so I dont really know the first thing about having a healthy relationship with a man. And vulvodynia just makes things more difficult for me.

Sorry i'm rambling and i'm scrambling my brain wondering how I can break this ''news'' to him.

Thanks for reading

Noni
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started a new relationship

Post  ria on Wed Jul 13, 2011 6:24 pm

Hi Noni,

I am so pleased for you. You got me thinking about when I first met my Husband, you know all loved up couldnt wait to see each other, and I wondered what I would do in your situation. I am looking on the positive side, what if your love hormones stop the pain or discomfort and you are ok with him? Why not wait and see how things go. You never know until you try,when your love juices ooz you never know, it may be the best cure so far. Laughing Laughing Laughing Let all your new feelings come to the surface and see what happens.


So thrilled for you Noni, you go girl Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile


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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  Sarah001 on Wed Jul 13, 2011 6:48 pm

I totally understand your fear about this, since becoming single I've been thinking I probably should consign myself to being on my own forever now even though I'm only 38 and have wondered if I met someone I really liked how would I tell them. I don't really know the answer but if this guy was and is your best friend then it should be ok to be honest, I don't think all men would do a runner if they knew so I say be honest. It's going to come out at some point when you're getting ready to be intimate so just explain it as best you can. Good luck and I do hope he turns out to be a keeper.
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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  Sebby (Admin) on Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:03 pm


Hi Noni

Im in a new relationship and took advice from a couple of the girls on here that I had a meet up with.

I first said that I had a Pelvic Pain condition and that ment that sometimes I couldnt have sex or 'go all the way'. He was ok with this and then I just started telling him more and more. About the forum, the biofeedback, the name of the condition etc. I had to tell him to be gentle with me in all aspects of anything sexual etc as sometimes even touching would be painful. Once I got the initial 'I get pain and cant always have sex' thing out the way then the rest just followed for me.

He has been great and very supportive and I do hope your boyfriend is the same. It is such a difficult thing to say but once you get the first sentence out the way and see his reaction (hopefully ok!) then you will feel that the rest will follow

I know its scary but take a risk and if he legs it then he wasnt the one for you hun.

Good Luck

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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  noni on Mon Jul 18, 2011 3:12 am

Thank u girls for you support and advice.

Sebby-- i think ur right...i should just initially say i have pelvic pain and go from there...

Wish me luck!

This whole V situation has made my life for the past 9 months a living hell and I really would love to focus my energy on other things in life and maybe find a partner who could support me through this ordeal.

Girls we deserve to be happy.

xo -- noni
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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  Sebby (Admin) on Mon Jul 18, 2011 7:28 am


Good luck hun,

We do deserve happiness and partners who support us and we can find them Very Happy

Wishing you blessings xx

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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  Melanie on Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:37 am

Hi Noni.
That other lady may have been right with the love juices, ha ha. My partner I was with about 10 years ago I could not have sex with once ( we were together 4 years) when we broke up it wasn't long before I was meeting other guys. I told them as soon as I met them on the night or whatever. Then the first guy after the long term one was reasonibly ok, he actually said ot wasn't as bad as he had thought it would be. Then my next partner who I have been with for 8 years slowly got better. at first no sex, then slowly we got to know each other better and things slowly happened. I have to still to this day use Xylocaine cream before sex as it hurts on the outside. We will just cuddle naked as we call it. Then rest there for a while whilst i take deep breaths and relax my muscles which automatically go into spasm. However still try to keep him interested in the mean time or things will go down pretty quickly. Hopefully things will start to happen for you.
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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  Melanie on Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:38 am

Melanie wrote:Hi Noni.
That other lady may have been right with the love juices, ha ha. My partner I was with about 10 years ago I could not have sex with once ( we were together 4 years) when we broke up it wasn't long before I was meeting other guys. I told them as soon as I met them on the night or whatever. Then the first guy after the long term one was reasonibly ok, he actually said ot wasn't as bad as he had thought it would be. Then my next partner who I have been with for 8 years slowly got better. at first no sex, then slowly we got to know each other better and things slowly happened. I have to still to this day use Xylocaine cream before sex as it hurts on the outside. We will just cuddle naked as we call it. Then rest there for a while whilst i take deep breaths and relax my muscles which automatically go into spasm. However still try to keep him interested in the mean time or things will go down pretty quickly. Hopefully things will start to happen for you.
Melanie

PS: Men really care less than you think as long as they're getting a load off if you know what I mean.

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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  Sebby (Admin) on Sun Jul 24, 2011 6:29 pm


Lol Melainie that is very true

I wanted to ask about the anesthetic creams. I have a tube for practise lol I have only tried it once (on my own) and found it does sting at first, although the dr did say that will wear off. I didnt find it numbed me (I was having a flare up) but I dont think I put much on.

I was wondering if it would numb the man also! (would be a very long night if it did lol)

Also how would you apply it before sex? and how long does it take to work?

Thanks

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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  noni on Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:03 pm

Hey Girls!

I appreciate your advice and feedback. The man i'm seeing doesnt put any pressure on me to put out, so to speak. He is in no rush and he's very gentle. I hope this lasts.

I told him not too long ago that I have ''pelvic pain'' ...he then asked if its short term or chronic...and he wanted to know the name of the condition. I said I would explain at a later time as i'm not very comfortable talking about my condition. I only said that i'm on medication for it for an undetermined period of time.

Anyways... maybe not all men are dogs. Intimacy is ofcourse an important part of a relationship, but there are so many other ways to express that.

@Sebby and Melanie: What am I to do with the Xylocaine/Lidocaine my doctor prescribed me? Is it just for flare-ups or is it to be applied before sex? I'm so confused... does sex cause you ladies pain on the outside or inside...or both???

Grrr.... i'm so confused...

Anyways..take care girls

Luv, noni
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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  Sarah001 on Mon Jul 25, 2011 7:10 pm

When I was given lidocaine (I couldn't get on with it) I was told to apply it to the vestibule 10 minutes before sex. You can also apply some during the day or overnight if you get on with it.
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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  Yangle on Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:55 pm

I was actually surprised by how good some men are. The media often stereotypes them into being sex-mad penis driven creatures.

When I told my partner about it I was just bluntly honest. I said I had a chronic pain disorder there and that sometimes I wouldn't be able to have intercourse - although that 'sometimes' is actually 'most times' so I suppose I wasn't too honest! But we find it fine, intercourse isn't the only intimate thing you can do. In fact he's often said sometimes he prefers just hugging than doing anything.

Plus, to be honest, if they do react badly to it then they probably aren't the relationship type character that you want around.

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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  lolainslacks on Tue Jul 26, 2011 1:02 pm

Sebby (Admin) wrote:
Lol Melainie that is very true

I wanted to ask about the anesthetic creams. I have a tube for practise lol I have only tried it once (on my own) and found it does sting at first, although the dr did say that will wear off. I didnt find it numbed me (I was having a flare up) but I dont think I put much on.

I was wondering if it would numb the man also! (would be a very long night if it did lol)

Also how would you apply it before sex? and how long does it take to work?

Thanks

What I have found is that you have to be prepared to hurt yourself a little whilst applying it. The first time I used it, I just squeezed it in there and though that would be enough, but that's not the case. You have to use your fingers to really push it around and make sure it's covering all of the places that hurt you. My pain is right at the entrace, all around there, so I have to insert my fingers and really rub these places. It's painful, but not unbearable. After about five minutes you should be numbed. If you've never used it before, or if it's been a while, it will burn you a little before it numbs you, but that's nomal and it will fade. Also, you do have to use quite a lot of the stuff.

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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  Sebby (Admin) on Sat Jul 30, 2011 7:47 pm


I've only used lidocaine once to try (not before sex) it stings at first and I didnt like that but I am told the stinging gets better the more you use it

I have pain on the outside and inside during sex (mainly just within the entrance). But once I relax and am not so tight intercourse starts to feel much better. I cant always go 'all the way' so often do 'outercourse' as its called. I find that if you start out on top then you can control how fast or slow and by how much he enters you until you relax.

It also helps to be really really turned on like crazy before trying intercourse lol

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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  Aussie on Mon Aug 01, 2011 6:04 am

Penetration from behind also helps me, it seems to avoid him bumping on the most sore bits (around my ureathra and clitoris) and as Sebby said turned on like crazy helps so much. I'd give 40 mins of forplay prior to trying sex.

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Re: Started a new relationship

Post  Aussie on Mon Aug 01, 2011 6:11 am

Also yes lidocane can numb your partner, we have tried. Use condoms. Smile

Lidocane did not work for me at all, but numbed him!

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Re: Started a new relationship

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