Can anyone relate?

As I watched all my girlfriends delight having intercourse, the joys of orgasm and craving the experience again I have always thought, "what is wrong with me". I would date guys I found attractive, be in the moment, and then... it would hurt. And I'll I could think about was how bad I wanted it to stop...

Of course I never said that, how could i? Here is this person I care about and who is treating me kind/gentle and tender and all I am thinking in the moment, a moment when he is trying to make me feel special, (hand/tongue/penis etc, it never matters) I am silently thinking to myself, "just grin and bear it" and physically can't find the words.

I describe it now to new people I meet like needing a root canal. You can be eating the best food in the world, it tastes good- you crave it- it satisfys you and you might be very in the moment and enjoying that meal, but then... suddenly your tooth reminds you that you need a root canal and all you can think about is the pain. :/

Its a hard conversation, but one I finally force myself to have when I meet someone I am seriously interested in.

Otherwise I avoid intimate encounters. It is a painful/awkward experience, every time. I find I am losing interest in persuing relationships, what is the point? Soon enough they will realize that what is an amazing experience for them is painful and hard for me and it will strain the relationship and both will walk away bruised and hurt.

Am I the only one who feels this way? What do i do?

I can definitely relate. It sounds to me like sex is uncomplicated for my friends. I try to tell myself that everyone faces various issues with sex, at various times in their life. My therapist have emphasised this too. But it is difficult to be in a conversation with them and know that I am hiding something. It's not that it's not good, it's that the pain is there and I am still dealing with it / attempting to improve it / working out ways to make sure my sex life doesn't suffer.

Congratualations on telling people. I have a long term partner and have not been able to bring myself to tell anyone else, including my friends. Would love to hear from more people that have.

Unfortunately I do not have much advice in regard to new partners as I do not face that challenge. I wish you well and hope you find ways to keep enjoying yourself.

I can relate too. I hate this stage of my life where all of my girlfriends are exploring and experimenting with sexual stuff, and the joys they experience. And its all giggles and champagne, and I just can't relate to them, and feel estranged and awkward.
Ugh.
Sometimes I tell, but I hate the pitty.

I think we can all relate unfortunately.

I was just thinking that.... Sometimes, if you bring it up, someone else will relate to you.
I know I was at a sorority meeting a while back and the girls were nagging on me about not joining in on the converstation, and I mentioned my issue of very painful sex, and later that night, I had two other girls come up to me and want to talk about it because they too found sex uncomfortable. And while, it wasn't painful painful like it is for me - it was relatable and brought forward the concerning issue.... we just want to talk about what we think people want us to feel and think sometimes.

I think about that sometimes, when I'm in a group of girls... There might be someone here who has vulvodynia and who needs someone to talk to about it just as much as I do... But non of us will ever know because it's not something you talk about...

I've told a couple of my closest friends... to both of them I said that I have damage nerveendings and that it hurts when I have sex. That's the best way to describe it. It helps to have it said because it is a big thing in my life and it takes up a lot of my thoughts... It feels a little weird if they don't know, I think.
With my best friend I think I had a gyno-exam the next day and I told her I was worried about it because it is usually hell on earth. It wasn't as big a deal as I thought it would be... and know I can tell her if there's something going on with that, just like I tell her everything else that is going on...

I agree with the last post, I too have two close friends who know about my V but the others don't. One actually had it for a while when she had pelvic instability issues and it went away once her pelvis stabilised but she didn't realise she had it at the time and thought she had a very persistent bout of thrush but after I told her about my problems she realised she'd had it for a few months herself. Quite encouraging really as hers went away!