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Somebody please help me...

Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:05 am by Andlag

Hey everyone,

since I started being sexually active i often experienced burning in my vagina which was often worse during sex /around the time of my period or when using lubricants. I was never able to use tampons because the one time i tried putting them in it felt like acid was poured on my skin. Fast forward to 2 months ago when I got a UTI and an allergic reaction in my vagina. I thought it …

Comments: 12

Lidocaine with condoms?

Wed Mar 21, 2018 10:44 pm by AEM1

Hi everyone! My doctor just prescribed me a topical lidocaine to administer before sex, but I forgot to ask if it is okay to use with condoms. Has anyone else used this before and know it is safe to use with condoms? Thanks! Very Happy
Unrelated, but I just started Lyrica a few weeks ago...no changes yet, but I'm hopeful something will come out of it. 3 years with vulvodynia and unable to have sex …

Comments: 0

Constant pain, I want to die.

Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:29 am by Meggiemay

I posted on here a few years ago but my symptoms went away with the inflammation. I didn't get so lucky this time.

For over three months, i've had terrible rawness, burning, soreness in the urethral/vestibule area and pressure/hypersensitivity in the clitoral area. I've also had some lower abdominal pressure and burning on my butt. I can barely walk! My gyno hasn't been much help. I'm on …

Comments: 23

I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?

Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:17 pm by Tunes25


I am a 25 year old woman and wanted to share my story here as I feel frustrated by the suggestions of my gyno and am hoping for some advice.

To give the context for this: in September 2016 I moved in with my long term boyfriend after living abroad a year and (nearly) abstaining from sex. Within a few weeks I had got a yeast infection which I treated myself successfully, but then 2 weeks …

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I cured myself 100% of vulvodynia twenty years ago--I hope this helps someone

Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:33 pm by totallycured


Every so often I'm reminded of the constant, persistent, horrible pain I was in two decades ago, and I reach out to try to help others who are suffering. If someone had offered me a solution during that terrible time, I'd have jumped at it. I hope this helps someone.

Yes, I did have terrible vulvodynia. It felt like someone poured acid all over my vulva. My doctor confirmed it and was …

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Recently Diagnosed which has motivated my research study

Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:54 pm by ebclose2free

Hi everyone,

My name is Eliza Barach and I was diagnosed with vulvodynia in October of 2017. I'm also PhD student at the State University of New York at Albany. I work several professors at SUNY, but one in particular, Dr. Mitch Earleywine researches marijuana and its possible efficacy as an alternative treatment. Our previous examined cannabis and symptoms of PMS/PMDD and found that women …

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Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:04 pm by infinitelywondering

Dear all,

Today has been the day I've been waiting for. The day something FINALLY makes sense.
I've been told countless times that I've got nerve damage or a muscular condition, yet none of the specific treatments have helped me. My GP suggested attacking this from a different angle so referred me to a dermatologist specialist

after having a vestibulectomy with no success, I decided to visit …

Comments: 3

New and desperate for advice

Sat Mar 03, 2018 2:37 pm by srbry

Hi everyone,

I'm new here and was told to find a support group because this is all getting a bit much really...

I lost my virginity when I was 18 and it hurt - that was normal. Loads of women had told me that it hurt so that was fine I didn't question that. I was with the same guy for a couple of months and each time after that it was uncomfortable and not great. I didn't tell him because I …

Comments: 3

New and need some help

Wed Feb 21, 2018 4:30 pm by LindafromNJ

New to this site ad trying to figure out how it works.  I am trying to post as a new member so I am hoping this goes thru.  I am a senior adult and have just been diagnosed by the Drexil Vaginitis Center to have vulvodynia along with Vestibulitis (not sure if spelled correctly).  My symptoms are vaginal burning, itching, soreness around the vaginal opening with one spot in particular.  Some …

Comments: 9

A couple of touchy Questions

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A couple of touchy Questions

Post  yuffie623 on Sun Jan 29, 2012 11:13 pm

I posted something in the new member section and the rant section, so my history is kind of scattered across the forum.

I'm Yuffie623, I'm 27 and I've had vulvodynia - the localised pain - vestibulodynia? - for six years. Before that I was sexually active with no physical problems. I have, however, dealt with bipolar disorder all my life, which I only realized recently. It seems unrelated and I know it's really awkward that I'm telling you all about that, but I feel like the combo is so repellant to men. That's been my experience, anyway.

Medical Question:

For anyone who is going to physical therapy, does your therapist forbid orgasms at all? Is it making things worse? And if you have localized pain - vestibulodynia - and an active libido, how can you stand abstaining?

I have not had the opportunity to see a physical therapist yet, because I was also in denial for a long time that the vulvodynia wouldn't go away on its own, especially since I went into "remission" from 2008 to 2009.

When I orgasm, obviously, the contractions tighten up the pelvic floor. If I head down there with my fingers, or my lovers do, it's tight as a drum after I come (hey, that rhymes!). This isn't good for recovery, obviously. I keep reading that the exercises prescribed are basically just the opposite of Kegels - relaxing the pelvic floor rather than tightening your "grip" on it. I also don't understand how to tell when the pelvic floor is "loose" or "relaxed," because I've not been instructed.

Anyway, for my emotional health (and my anxiety), I've found, while kind of a crutch, clitoral orgasms help. Maybe I'm weird or abnormal. I still get that thought sometimes, because I was raised by strict Catholics who waver between the idea that sex is beautiful and sex is sinful. I was told for many years that it was a sin and forbidden. I masturbated anyway and had lots of sex throughout my twenties.

And then I see women suffering from this disorder just plain turned off from sex. That's what happened to me and intercourse, but because I enjoy kissing, outercourse and oral sex, cybersex, and the like, really my libido has not changed. Only my aversion to vaginal intercourse. It scares me, now, to have it, because I know it will be painful and awful. But everything else, I crave, but of course, men crave that which I don't...

Social Question:

What about being single with this disorder? I think it sucks.

I see a lot of women writing about this are in long-term relationships with partners or husbands who are understanding and help them best they can. Couples struggling to deal with this, what they want and what she needs, etc etc.

Well I am single, and it's always been bad enough being bipolar and dating, nevermind vulvar pain. It's awful. Just awful. It's been a mess. I feel like I'll never find somebody. I have enough trouble letting go of the past without thinking back on the times I had pain-free sex and feeling sad, missing it.

I don't know what to tell guys. I was at this big party (don't worry, it wasn't a "hook up" kind of party), and everyone got really, really drunk (I'm a graduate student but people still act like they're 20; some are only 22, not that I'm knocking the maturity of 22-year-olds). I didn't but I got into a conversation with my classmate that I'm working on a project on about life and shitty landlords etc etc, and I told him about my bipolar disorder and it got incredibly awkward. I turned red as an apple.

Then our classmate (who is also going to work on a project with me) locks eyes with me and notices. Now people DO know I'm allergic to practically everything, so he got concerned and walked over. The three of us made small talk and somehow...the guy asks me if I've been hit on? I guess we were talking about our other classmate who was trying to pull a girl, as you in England would say. Yes! That's exactly it. We were laughing about him smoothtalking her, and then suddenly the spotlight is on me and this guy is asking me about my sex life.

Boom. Well, I make a self-deprecating joke, but he rolls with it. He starts trying to analyze me. I'm very geeky, and I don't wear much makeup. Mascara and concealer are basically as fancy as I usually get. Last time I wore makeup, this same guy probably didn't notice because we were at another kegger with bad lighting. Anyway, I don't know why I said all that. Basically he says I'm "not conventionally attractive," which is code for ugly. He's short and weaselly looking, so I'm not sure why my being slightly overweight with a big nose is something so shocking, but whatever. But he says something like, "Embrace your sexuality!" and my lab partner comes to my defense saying, "You're being really misogynistic right now, do you know that?" The guy gets kind of offended like, "No, no I'm not." Suddenly these two men I barely know, despite being in classes together, are debating my...honor? Or something? The guy who brought it up has no idea about my sexual history. He says that thing people say, you know, "Oh someday you'll find someone. There's all kinds of fish in the sea." Come on. I've had plenty of fish. Before now. Before these illnesses came on.

It really bothers me, because if I were in a situation where I did want to casually hook up with someone (I'm way too old and not emotionally equipped for that anymore), IF, what would happen? What would happen is like this summer, when I was dating someone I had to tell about my vulvodynia literally when he was already on top of me and about to get to it. I'd told him about bipolar over a dinner table, but not about my vulva until we were in the throes. I just don't know how to tell guys, if I should tell guys a certain way, or if I should even bother being sexually active at all.

And why is my classmate bringing up my sexuality? "Embrace it," he said, and I turned to my lab partner and go, "He wants me to wear short skirts, doesn't he?" It's just...so uncomfortable, with these things...Sorry, this should go in the rant section shouldn't it? Blah.



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Re: A couple of touchy Questions

Post  BpCookie on Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:36 pm

Hello Yuffie, Lets first deal with the Bipolar part of this. Im Bipolar also and I told my b/f, now husband, about me being Bipolar when things seemed to be getting more serious. Then when it REALLY started to get serious I wanted him to know everything about my mood swings. I wanted him to know exactly what he was getting himself into. Now when it comes to friends, I tell them when I think the time is right and some ppl I dont tell at all. It all depends on the person. If a person doesnt think they can handle the Bipolar side of you and is scared off by that, then they wont be able to handle the Vulvodynia side either and those kinds of ppl you dont need in your life anyways. You need to find ppl who want you as you ARE, not as they want you to be.

Are your meds keeping you stable? Do you still have your ups and downs? Are you seeing a pdoc?

About the Vulvodynia part of this. If your going to have a sexual encounter with someone, then its up to you to decide when to tell them. Just explain that Vulvodynia is not an STD, its not something they can catch from you but it CAN cause you pain, that you need to be in control and that you may have to stop if it gets painful, but also explain that there are other things that the both of you can do instead.

I hope that helps.

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Re: A couple of touchy Questions

Post  Sarah001 on Mon Jan 30, 2012 6:01 pm

I agree with the above and I also think you are worrying alot about other people's opinions of you when really you shouldn't. We've all had awkward encounters like that and you need to brush them off, if they don't like you as you are tough shit. As for embrace your sexuality guy, sounds like a right plonker to me and I probably would have just told him so.

The orgasm part depends on who you ask, some say it tightens the muscles up and shouldn't be done while others think it brings fresh blood to the area so there's two very different camps out there. I suspect once you see a physio (PT) and learn to relax the muscles orgasms won't be a problem because after one you'll then know how to relax the muscles again. Personally all the meds have totally stolen my ability to orgasm so it's not an issue for me!

As for being single with V and other stuff, I'm single at 38 with V, Hypermobility Syndrome which means I literally dislocate all over my body and Fibromyalgia (I'm such a catch!) and to be totally honest I can't imagine anyone wanting to take all that on, my ex certainly didn't and legged it once I'd had V for a few months. I'm ok with being single though and just concentrate on me, if someone came along who could deal with all of it great but if not then that's fine too. I'm just rolling with it all and doing my best to improve my function for me, no-one else. I sound very severe don't I? I'm not honestly, just old enough to know better than to put other people first.

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Re: A couple of touchy Questions

Post  Lindilou on Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:46 am

I have pre-existing mental health issues [psychosis], now my voices are calling me a 'stupid cunt' not sure whether they mean me or that I possess one


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Re: A couple of touchy Questions

Post  Songstress on Fri Mar 23, 2012 9:06 am

When my vulvodynia was bad but not at its worst, I found that the only time penetration without extreme pain was possible was actually directly after my orgasm. And I do mean directly after, because if I wait a few minutes the natural lubrication dries out and everything is so much worse. Your muscles do tighten during orgasm, but they relax after.

My reasons for thinking directly after orgasm is the best time are three-fold:

1. I saw a physiotherapist for a short while and she told me that a lot of women subconsciously suck in their stomach and tighten their pelvic muscles all the time (because it firms up our asses and makes our tummies look flat). I know that I do actually do both these things. Her tip was to tense my muscles briefly once in a while because consciously tensing the muscles makes it easier to release the tension again. When we walk around with our muscles partially tensed all the time, we stop feeling the strain. Tensing your muscles completely makes it possible to feel the difference between completely relaxed and slightly tense muscles. The muscle is the most relaxed after complete tension because the body takes a second or a few minutes before it can go back to that slight tension. If this is a general rule, which I don't honestly know that it is, it would make sense that the pelvic muscles are the most relaxed directly after the extreme tension that is orgasm.

2. The second reason is just a matter of friction. I find that I am wettest directly after orgasm. More moisture = less friction = less pain

3. The psychological aspect is the third reason. We have decreased blood-flow to the brain during orgasm and it does take a short while before the blood goes back up there. That means I get a minute or two of glorious fear-free thinking, when my brain isn't chanting "Oh God, this is gonna hurt", causing my body to tense up more than it already does...

I do know that some women have such severe vulvodynia that reaching the point of orgasm isn't a possibility, but if anyone else tries this, I'd be curious to know whether it works for you too.


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Re: A couple of touchy Questions

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