Scared and hurting

I've been diagnosed with vulvodynia. Sadly, I was told a few months ago that my pain was due to still having some of my hymen so I had a very costly (and painful!!!!!!) hymenectomy. Unfortunately, the surgery did not help at all with sex. I am now able to use a tampon, but that is all. Sex is so painful. I don't understand how it can ever be fun. I'm in my twenties and I have a very supportive mother whom I told everything and she is helping me find treatment. Not only am I horrified but I waited so so long to lose my virginity to someone I love. It was excruciating. I have the most wonderful, understanding boyfriend and we are moving in together in August, but I really wish I could have sex. Lubes don't help, special condoms don't help. I don't know what to do. I'm so overwhelmed and scared. I want to be able to have a normal sex life. Does anyone have any advice? I really want to stay with my boyfriend and I want to be able to love normally. What can I do???????

I dont have much advice on pain manaent but i can tell to toufrom my experience its not easy. Ive had this since at least 16 im now 22. My boufriend and i have been together nearly 3 and a half years and we live together. I couldnt askfor a better bf. he helps me and trys his best to understand me. Lubes codoms nummig cream anti depressants and physical therapy have done nothing for me. Im looking into the surgery to have nerve endings removed in hopes that my only problem is over active nerve enddings. So heres hoping. I cant tell you itll just go away and i cant give you a magic cure. Just stay strong try as many things as you can to help and invest in icepacks. Its not easy or fun but obe day you might be able to be "normal" and thats all any of us could ask for at this point

So I am 22 and I have severe pain also although mine isnt constant(all the time), how I am able to cope with sex is get a clitoral vibrator...works WAYYYY better then your hand and believe me its a huge distraction from the pain, im sad that I didnt think of it before(Doesnt work for me at 10/10 pain).

I have also noticed that having your butt in the air(hate the name for it)but not having sex anally seems to help a lot also. In combination with a vibrator(unless your in 10/10 pain) and omg you will "Climax" harder then ever before.

I am sorry to everyone who thinks this is a little too detailed but I wanted to explain just how much it worked for me. Honestly, from the girls I know, being a female in your 20s is like being a horny teenage boy and I want to express the big difference between having sex and not while dealing with this pain.

I hope I didnt offend, disgust or any other negative thing to anyone. Just expressing.

Most people on here say your not alone, which is very true but im not about to tell you the same thing everyone else is because I dont feel that does a whole lot knowing that over and over again. Ill be brutally honest(if you ever want to ask me anything else).

Good luck. :]