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» How I cured my Vulvodynia!
Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice EmptySat Dec 07, 2019 11:54 am by Millie

» 7 months since the diagnosis
Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice EmptyWed Aug 14, 2019 2:38 am by agtoronto

» Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams
Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice EmptySat Jun 15, 2019 5:22 pm by mary jane

Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice EmptySat Jun 15, 2019 5:21 pm by mary jane

» Help New Diagnosis
Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice EmptySat Jun 15, 2019 5:07 pm by mary jane

» 6 days post Vestibulectomy - Is this normal?? please tell me about your postop healing process!
Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice EmptyTue Jun 11, 2019 12:56 am by VVSSufferer

» Vestibulectomy next week in London!! - questions!!
Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice EmptyWed Apr 24, 2019 8:32 pm by HedvigB

» Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice
Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice EmptyFri Apr 19, 2019 10:25 pm by Tartufo

» Research Participants Needed!
Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice EmptyThu Apr 11, 2019 2:09 pm by PelvicPainProject

Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams

Thu May 10, 2018 9:43 am by Rosie21

Hi I have been suffering for some years with this abominable pain. I have tried most of the systemic drugs , I asked specialists and Doctors if I could at least try a topical treatment but because this requires a special prescription have been refused Has anybody had a chance of trying these? Thank you I will try to put a link on to some of the research into Gabapentin Gel. Thanks.

Comments: 2

Putnams 'bony parts' cushion or Putnams 'Dr Huff' cushion - which is best?

Sat Aug 01, 2015 4:17 pm by Fielder

Hi everyone,

I'm a newbie.  I live in the UK.  

I'm trying to work out the best cushion to get for my vulvodynia.  I suspect that I could have pudendal nerve involvement (the aching and burning pain is from vagina to clitoris) and I have rectocele and some tailbone pain too.

I have seen some good reports on older threads regarding the Putnams pressure relief cushions....with some ladies …

Comments: 11

An absolute success story- please read!

Fri Mar 08, 2019 10:57 pm by Persevere1990

Dear All,

I posted on here back in March 2017 having just got a diagnosis of vulvodynia after a few months of relentless and acute pain. I was desperate, I was hurting, I was scared I would never know life without pain there again.

I tried creams, acupuncture, numbing gels, frozen pads, baths with various internet recommended concoctions- convinced myself I had lichen sclerosus, herpes, thrush- …

Comments: 0

I'm sorry im rambling

Thu Feb 21, 2019 5:49 am by Jet227

hey, im 19, ive been struggling with this almost a year. The first week I became itchy I went in to check about a yeast infection another week later. I have been to 10 different doctors a total of about 15 appointments for this problem for the past 11 months. I have been tested for everything including having a biopsy. I was first told basically to just go home and use hydrocortazone, then I went …

Comments: 1

New member need advice please

Thu Feb 28, 2019 11:33 pm by PANDORA123

Hello, I have just been diagnosed with unprovoked vulvodynia. Im really scared and worried. It burns a lot and it hurts to sit down. I have been prescribed amitriptyle 10mg. Can anyone give me some hope that I can get better from this condition. Feeling low and depressed.


Comments: 5

MonaLisa Touch

Fri Feb 08, 2019 7:35 pm by rl2091

Hi All,

I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with the MonaLisa Touch treatment for Vulvodynia? My pain started when I went on HRT(pill) for anxiety mainly and my pain abruntly stopped when I stopped HRT. However, when I started on the HRT patch (at my dr's suggestion), the pain returned and has never left. That was 7 years ago. I found MonaLisa Touch on the internet purely by accident …

Comments: 3

Diagnosed Recently

Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:55 pm by flissyg

Hi All,

I’m so glad I’ve found a place where there are others who understand how I feel!

So this is my story:-

I’m 36,  and 4 months ago, whilst innocently sitting in bed reading I experienced a very sharp stabbing pain in my clitoris. It last only a few minutes and then subsided as quickly as it came on. It put it down to “one of those things”.  The following morning I woke up …

Comments: 4

New and need advice and help

Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:26 pm by Cin124

Hi everyone,

About three months ago, I started having vaginal and vulval itching. Then, about two months ago, my vulva started to feel painful and look swollen, so I went to the doctor. I was tested for herpes, chlamydia, and gonorrhea which all came back negative. I also had to do a vaginal swab test and the only thing that came back positive was yeast infection. I was prescribed hydrozole …

Comments: 6

New here would very much appreciate advice at the end of my rope

Wed Jan 09, 2019 9:09 pm by Jma990o

This might be a little long but it's been such a long time I've even been able to talk about my problems openly thank you in advance for any helpful advice.
So ok I'm 24 I've been having this problem for over two years seen quite a few doctors and obgyns alike and nobody will take me seriously I have had a few utis and yeast infections and even bv once and this all started after one of the utis …

Comments: 3

Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice

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Post  Lemonade_lemons on Sun Mar 17, 2019 4:46 pm

Hello Ladies,

I hope you are well.

One question I have been wanting to ask and get some advice on for quite some time is dating whilst suffering from Vulvodynia and Vaginismus. I am 26 and have not dated anyone since I was 23. This is partially due to advice to abstain from sex whilst going through different types of treatment and loosing confidence and self-esteem to date and/or be in a relationship due to these conditions and the rejection and lack of understanding I received from previous partners.

Although I am not cured, I feel ready to start dating again and wondered if any of you have advice on navigating the dating scene or being in a relationship with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus. For example these are some of the questions I have:

. How far into dating or a relationship do you tell your partner about your inability to have pain free sex?

. How would you suggest I tell a new partner?

. Has anyone managed to have a long term relationship with a man without penetrative sex that has been successful?

I feel like a barrier I face to getting in a new relationship is that I feel embarrassment and shame around my condition and feel that no one would want me and would either reject me from the outset or cheat on me with someone who is able to have penetrative sex. I basically do not feel good enough to date or fall in love with.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Enjoy the rest of your weekends.

Many thanks,



Posts : 1
Join date : 2018-04-07

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Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice Empty happily married and yet to have penetrative sex

Post  Tartufo on Fri Apr 19, 2019 10:25 pm

Hi Lemonade_Lemons!

Thank you for your honesty and openness to share here and for your courage to seek treatment and to try dating again! Letting someone into your life and especially romantically can be incredibly challenging and brave but to not have them respond with love and support can be really crushing, I’m so sorry you had to experience that kind of rejection from previous partners :’(

I'm a bit apprehensive about sharing my experience because I realize my story is not exactly the norm but I couldn't leave your post without a response, I hope it helps in whatever way it can. I can't really speak to some of your questions about dating since I’ve never had to navigate dating and vulvodynia before, I didn’t realize I even had it till I got married. But I can speak to your last question about whether it's possible to have a lasting relationship without penetrative sex. I just turned 29 and I've been married for 5 years and have not been able to have successful penetrative sex. I was not sexually active before my husband and I did not realize I had any issues with having sex until I got married. Although I tried tampons in the past but was never successful but I didn't think too much about it at the time. (This may be TMI, but my husband and I have sex through manual stimulation and foreplay. I used to keep saying that I can’t have sex because of my vulvodynia but my husband has been quick to correct me and help me see that sex doesn’t have to be penetration and we have been able to both experience orgasms with out penetration. He’s been my number one support through it all).

When I first discovered penetration was impossible without burning pain, I had a lot of questions and fears going through my mind. As I began to share my fears and concerns with my husband those thoughts of whether I was “enough” for my husband, whether he would be unsatisfied in our marriage were quickly put to rest by my husband’s love, affirmation, patience and support for me. I knew I could trust his words because of his actions that followed. He never pushed me beyond my limits, he made sure I felt comfortable going to the doctors to find out what was going on, he never pressured me towards treatments, he affirms me when we have sex. Since then, I cannot think of a time when I questioned whether I was “enough” for my husband or whether my husband wishes he was with someone that he could have penetrative sex with. That being said, I do struggle with thoughts around how can our sex life be better and whether we can ever have penetrative sex. We both desire to have penetrative sex, but finding what could help is still scary and daunting for me.

All this to say, my husband is not perfect, but he tells me and shows me his love for me every day and that has made a world of a difference. I realize not all guys are like my husband but not all men are like the guys you’ve cross paths with as well. It may be cliche to say, but I do believe love is a choice. It’s a choice that my husband and I make everyday to put each other first and we fail at it lots but it’s these challenges in our relationship that truly test our devotion and commitment to one another.

If anything isn’t clear or you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask. I hope as you ease in to dating that you meet someone that you can be yourself with and who will support you in any and everywhere Smile


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Join date : 2017-07-04

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