What works for us

Hey people.

I'm the happy new boyfriend of a vulvodynia sufferer; she's had the problems since a guy roughed her about 12 years ago, she's tried Everything from botox to surgery.

I just wanted to share my jubilation and tell you all what worked for us. I cannot say that it will work for everyone, or that it works every time for us, but it's just wonderful when it does.

Our remedy is surprisingly simple:
Take your time. Build trust, be romantic, soft talks, music, love, great food, a thousand caresses and soft kisses, massage, letting her take initiative when she's bloody well good and ready, and most of all: No. Rushing. It.

I'm posting this in the hope that it will be in some way helpful for even One other sufferer; it seems so wrong to me that what should be so much joy hurts so much.

This is very sweet. I'm wondering though, don't you ever get frustrated or mad that you aren't having sex? It seems to me that people who have sex drives and like sex get angry when they can't have it - even if they love their partner and are being understanding. Do you do anything to supress your libido, or satisfy it elsewhere?

Oh, but you misunderstand: We solved the problem.

For us, for her. Unfortunately, this will probably not work for everyone.

But given enough romance, love, time and trust, it simply doesn't hurt her.
She sometimes complains of being a little tender if I push her too fast, but nothing like the excruciating pains she's used to.

And it's been remarkably swift; in the beginning, sex took something like three hours; just slowly building up to the point where she could relax.
Now, just a month later, we can be much faster if we want to; but taking the time to do things right is great (o:

And no, I don't get mad.
I'm not sure I Could be mad at her; we solve our differences thru talking them out, filling out the voids between us with love, patience and understanding.
All I really want is for us both to be happy.

And I would love for someone else to take this story, find the right kind of loving patient person, and get her problem solved too.
Because life, love, and sex is and should be, wonderful.

wow,
she is so lucky to have found you.