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New and need advice and help

Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:26 pm by Cin124

Hi everyone,

About three months ago, I started having vaginal and vulval itching. Then, about two months ago, my vulva started to feel painful and look swollen, so I went to the doctor. I was tested for herpes, chlamydia, and gonorrhea which all came back negative. I also had to do a vaginal swab test and the only thing that came back positive was yeast infection. I was prescribed hydrozole …

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I'm new to this forum and would love some advice! :)

Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:13 am by anikita

Hi lovely gals!

I'm honestly hoping to get any bit of advice anyone might have to offer. I go from bouts of sobbing hysterically in my boyfriend's arms to feeling confident that I can beat this.

I haven't been actually diagnosed with vulvodynia but EVERYTHING under the sun has come back negative. I started having sex 4 years ago after starting Lo Loestrin, with my first and current boyfriend …

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Hello. Happy to have found this group.

Fri Dec 07, 2018 9:01 pm by foxysugarpants

I am new here and hope to gain some insight into my vulva pain. I suffered for a long time not realizing that there are ways to feel better. I saw the Dr. yesterday and I am starting P/T pelvic and valium suppositories. queen

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Had this for 5 years, looking for people who understand

Sat Oct 06, 2018 9:46 pm by blackberrie

Hey all. I'm really struggling to find anyone in real life who can really understand what I'm going through. I've had vestibulodynia for 5 years now and I'm single. Obviously it has completely affected how I approach dating and sex and the fact that I can't really talk to people irl about it has made me feel very lonely. I've found that a lot of the women who have this problem are married and …

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Anyone have pain with urination?

Tue Oct 16, 2018 2:35 pm by mertzwl

Hi everyone - I can't believe I've been dealing with this for almost 10 years and an appointment scheduler at a urogyn office is the one to suggest I look into vulvodynia. Honestly, I don't care, I just thankful I might have an answer.

I have pain in one specific spot right around the urethral opening so it always coincides with urinating (it's not a uti). Does anyone else deal with pain …

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Diagnosed recently, looking for advice

Sun Sep 02, 2018 12:51 am by Cloudberry

Hi everyone,

I'm so glad I found this forum! I was diagnosed with vulvodynia/vulvar vestibulitis (still not sure about the difference between all the different terms) a couple of months ago and I could do with some advice. This is probably going to be a lot of text because I just want to get everything off my chest, so please bear with me.

I’m a woman in my late 20s. Before getting diagnosed …

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From a concerned husband

Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:45 pm by ConcernedYorkieHubby

Hello everyone,

This is probably a little unconventional, but I’m a man who is here because his wife has been diagnosed with vulvodynia. The poor girl has been suffering with vulva pain for around 10 years now, and I’ve been by her side through the pain and tears and doctors misunderstandings the whole way, and we’re both exhausted and terrified by the whole experience.

I’m sure a lot …

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6 year sufferer but I’ve found some hope

Wed Oct 10, 2018 1:33 am by Npage14

Hey, ladies! I’m new to this support group, I’ve thought about doing something like this for a while so I wanted to try this out! I’ve had vulvodynia for 6 years now, I am self diagnosed. I’m 20 now and the pain started when I had my first encounter with sexual contact when I was 14(I still remained a virgin though it was fingering). For a couple years the pain was so bad I could hardly …

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Hurting, Burning, Itching, and Worn Out

Thu Aug 09, 2018 10:55 pm by donnambr

This vulvodynia that I'm currently suffering with is so cruel. I hurt, I burn, I itch. When I first got this several years ago, before the internet, I though I was the only one with this awful disorder. Doctors couldn't figure it out. I felt so alone and devastated. Somehow it disappeared for a few years and now I'm suffering again. This dreaded V misery is back and I feel like I will be with …

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How to ease sex

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How to ease sex

Post  Sallyjane on Thu Feb 06, 2014 8:27 pm

I have provoked vulvodynia. My boyfriend is completely fine about not having sex however I'm not and really want to be able to at least have sex with only minimal discomfort. Has any one found any treatments or anything to ease sex that has worked for them?

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Re: How to ease sex

Post  alessandria on Thu Feb 06, 2014 10:27 pm

Again... I mentioned this in the other thread, but you probably should hold off on penetrative intercourse until you can really lessen your provoked vulvodynia first, otherwise you are risking killing your libido in the future. Your brain WILL associate sex with pain if you're not careful, and it will "solve" the problem by not allowing you to get aroused ever. Patience is key, even if it is frustrating. That being said, if your pain is just at the vaginal opening, many women find lidocaine helpful (your OB/GYN will give you an aqueous solution that only will affect you, and not rub off on your partner). Because you said you are burning for hours after sex though, I'm concerned that this will not really help you the way you need it to. If you want a temporary solution, I'd give the advice of going slow, using lots of lubricant (Slippery Stuff seems to not irritate most people with V), and use lidocaine before starting. If you find there is pain as soon as the lidocaine wears off though, I'd refrain from having vaginal penetrative sex until you get some improvement.

I want to emphasize this: you can still be a sexual person! There are many people who cannot have penetrative vaginal sex who still have very fulfilling sex lives, and I encourage you to do some research on the topic and get some ideas. I have no doubt that you can fully satisfy your boyfriend and yourself if you keep an open mind.

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Re: How to ease sex

Post  mary jane on Sat Feb 08, 2014 4:08 pm

I have the same worry...I have pure neuropathy which responds to amitriptyline, I have a combo I want to try if I get the guts to try sex again: pregabalin, amitriptyline 50 mg, lidocaine or vaginal valium..... vaginal valium is used by a lot of the ladies with painful bladders (IC) and it helps ... you have a great boyfriend if he is so relaxed about it !
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Re: How to ease sex

Post  Alana3 on Sat Feb 08, 2014 9:51 pm

I tried vaginal valium it burned life the devil

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Re: How to ease sex

Post  mary jane on Sun Feb 09, 2014 10:03 pm

rectal valium ?Very Happy
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Re: How to ease sex

Post  Alana3 on Mon Feb 10, 2014 12:03 am

If youre comfortable shoving something up your butt why not? But I've heard it can make your bowels loosey goosey haha but what is that gonna do with your hooha? Who knows it may work for you but keep in mind it ONLY worjs for muscle spasms so if you dont have muscular problems its not gonna work. So for you since you have redness (right?) It might not work.

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Re: How to ease sex

Post  alessandria on Mon Feb 10, 2014 8:10 am

Just as a heads up, the only randomized control study done on vaginal valium showed it was not effective for pelvic pain -- there's a good post here summarizing why it's probably not the best idea in the context of pelvic pain. (Just don't want you ladies spending money/time on something that doesn't work!)

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Re: How to ease sex

Post  mary jane on Mon Feb 10, 2014 9:32 am

sob sob I'll stick with my secret stash of narcotics then (=Tramadol/ultram)
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Re: How to ease sex

Post  Alana3 on Mon Feb 10, 2014 1:27 pm

Eh you don't know if something works until you try it so I wouldn't give that advice. It actually worked for me kinda but not for nerve pain its for muscles and not a miracle drug. Also tramadol isn't a narcotic I take it everyday where it acts like one its not classified as one. The only thing it really does is make you tired. If you can have sex knocked out more power to you! Lol And all it is is a painkiller it's not gonna treat anything or prevent. Your pain. It's just gonna mask it until it wears off. Same with valium.

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Re: How to ease sex

Post  Alana3 on Mon Feb 10, 2014 1:28 pm

But it wont give you side effects since its bypassing your liver

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Re: How to ease sex

Post  mary jane on Mon Feb 10, 2014 3:33 pm

I've taken it before in the past when I had bartholin cysts (pain from hell) and if it was able to work for THAT, then I kind of trust it to work again ??  the pills never made me feel sleepy, more like hyper and very drugged out/high Very Happy
I know I'm not treating my pain just masking it, but at least I can lead a life until I find a decent dr
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Re: How to ease sex

Post  Alana3 on Mon Feb 10, 2014 3:37 pm

oh itll help its just not gonna treat is all i'm saying. Smile continue with it, but try to find a more accurate treatment than popping pills.

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Re: How to ease sex

Post  mary jane on Mon Feb 10, 2014 10:36 pm

I'm screwed. I've fallen in love with a guy. I am so screwed. My pain consultant better give the maximum pills. better throw anything and everything at me
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Re: How to ease sex

Post  amy1918 on Thu Feb 20, 2014 1:47 am

I find it really difficult to have sex with my fiancé,he gets so frustrated and I do too,I just feel unbelievable discomfort and pain but all I get off people is 'it's in your head'..it's not in my head!! I feel so selfish because I've taken away my partners sex life and feel sometimes he'd be better off with out me..I need advice on least painful positions etc. Please help x

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Re: How to ease sex

Post  Alana3 on Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:46 am

Experiment what works for you may not work for me and you're not selfish

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Re: How to ease sex

Post  alessandria on Thu Feb 20, 2014 5:39 am

amy1918 wrote:I find it really difficult to have sex with my fiancé,he gets so frustrated and I do too,I just feel unbelievable discomfort and pain but all I get off people is 'it's in your head'..it's not in my head!! I feel so selfish because I've taken away my partners sex life and feel sometimes he'd be better off with out me..I need advice on least painful positions etc. Please help x

Amy, what have you tried so far to treat your pain? Vulvodynia is actually many different disorders with different causes, and how you work with it depends on what kind you have.

First. You are NOT selfish. You have had the bad luck of developing a condition that is both physically and emotionally painful, and while you and your partner might not be able to have vaginal penetrative sex the way you want to, that does not make you selfish. You are a strong person dealing with a bad situation the best you can. Your fiancé loves you, and that is something that transcends whether vaginal penetrative sex is something you can have all the time. I'm not going to lie and say vaginal penetrative sex doesn't matter, it DOES suck to not be able to have it painlessly, but there are a lot of other options for intimacy that should be your everyday go-to. I think it's important to be just as sexual as you were before, but to challenge yourself to find new ways to enjoy intimacy (there's a lot of things that most V sufferers can still do!).

When you DO want to have sex: do you have lidocaine? Do you use a large quantity of non-irritating lube? Do you make sure to engage in a ton of foreplay to make sure you're properly warmed up and ready for action? As far as positions go, it depends on your type of pain. If most of your pain is from insertion/withdrawal, any position that places a larger emphasis on grinding rather than thrusting will be less painful. If your pain is more in the vulva or clitoris, but less with insertion/withdrawal, find positions such that they're oriented away from contact while allowing penetration. As a rule, woman on top is a good idea for those with sexual pain, since it puts you in control of the angle, the speed, and the type of motion.

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Re: How to ease sex

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