Long time sufferer

I'm 34 years old, I've been married for seven years, and we can't have sex because I'm so miserable.  And this has been going on my entire adult life.  Any kind of penetration ranges from extremely uncomfortable to downright excruciating for me.  I don't wear tampons unless I absolutely have to because even inserting a small tampon is awful.  And I can constantly feel it as I wear it, like it's rubbing raw flesh inside me.  I would describe my pain as raw, irritating, and burning.  The intensity varies.

I used to be too afraid to see a doctor about this; and up until this year, I'd only seen a gynecologist once, and that was when I was 21.  I finally got up the courage to try again last spring.  She says she cannot find anything physically wrong with me.  The only abnormality she sees is on my slides.  She says I have no infections, but I also have NO good bacteria.  She said my vaginal flora is pretty much non-existent or dead.  I started taking probiotics, but it hasn't helped.  I've tried Rephresh.  I tried some natural suppositories.  I tried a $150 anti-fungal steroidal ointment that was a total waste of money.  I stopped using any kind of soap or cleanser down there, only water.  Nothing gets rid of the burning pain.    

In order to help my sex life, she prescribed Xanax for me to take to calm me down.  Because I expect the pain, I tense up terribly and then nothing can get in.  The Xanax does help me to relax a bit, but we still can't have sex.  I've just been using dilators to get more used to penetration, but it still hurts and I don't enjoy any sexual activity.  In fact, I just feel dread and I feel annoyed by it.  I've come to hate anything or anyone sexual because I cannot enjoy that part of myself.  My doctor also gave me a numbing gel to use during sex, but I haven't even tried it.  For me, what is the point of having sex if I have to numb myself to get through it?  

Xanax and numbing gel.  Not exactly what I always dreamed sex would be like at this age.

I've also been going to therapy to talk about this.  I told her recently that I don't even feel like a woman anymore, and haven't for a long, long time.  I feel defective and broken.  My self-esteem is dead.  While my doctor says I have no infections, I often get a "yeasty" smell without the clumpy white discharge or itching.  Most of the time my discharge is clear, thin, and occasionally has a yellowish tinge to it.  It definitely doesn't seem like a yeast infection, except for the occasional odor.  I told my doctor that I often get the feeling that part of this is hormonal, but she seemed to blow that idea off.  I suggested that to her because I still get acne every month, and I'm constantly exhausted, and I'm a type two diabetic.  I take metformin, but it doesn't have any effect on my sex life.  Something is just off with me.  She wants me to come back in a few weeks for a recheck, but I don't want to.  I've been to her twice, and I feel like conventional medicine is not going to cure this.  My next step is going to be to try acupuncture, but I'm not getting my hopes up.  I've lived a lifetime of this, and I'm starting to think I will never have a normal sex life (or any other kind) or be able to have kids.  

Anyway, it's nice to find this forum and to be among women who understand me.  I feel like less of a freak already.

I'm so sorry about this I've actually heard that type 2 diabetic women experience more problems with their vagina or "down area" more than people who don't have type 2 diabetes. Have you had any problems with your back? Are you eating healthy? Are you eating food that is causing the pH in your vagina to be unsuitable for your body?
Stuff to try if you haven't already:
-all natural vitamin pills
-calcium citrate
-exercising regularly (especially abdominal core exercises)
-drink plenty of water
-NO TAMPONS (use non-irritating pads)
-pelvic floor exercises?
-problems with your back or pelvis? use therapy
-non-scented detergent
-loose-fit clothing
-no bicycles or bikes
-acupuncture has helped some women, has lowered some of their symptoms down to 20% or more
-heating pads
-warm baths (no lotion or body wash, keep shampoo and conditioner as far away from your down area as possible)
-ice packs work for a lot of people

Stuff to help your mind, lose more stress:
-yoga
-meditation
-therapy (this forum can be a form of therapy)
-classical music always helps me

MORE TREATMENTS IF YOU'D LIKE TO SEE AND HOW WOMEN WITH VULVODYNIA REACT TO THEM
http://curetogether.com/vulvodynia/treatments/

I have had really bad pain with intercourse too. It's absolutely soul distroying so I know how u feel. You don't feel like a women and it can send u to aug a dark place. Fortunatly I have made some simple changes which has made a massive difference and non are pills it's more natural.
Have a look under the anouncements section and read my post. It's called healing with simple changes...or somthink like rhat. I think you should give some of my methods a go for a month doing them all religiously and see if anything changes for u. It worth a try...

I'm so sorry to hear how much you are suffering. This condition is horrible but you can't lose faith. Thers so many things to try that doctor doesn't have to percribe. I hope you find your solution soon. It sounds like you have had it hard for a very long time.

You guys, I urge any of you to ask your doctor for clindamycin pills 300mg, 2times a day for 10 days.
Its the standard treatment for BV, but ALSO for Tooth abscesses, jaw infections and other really severe infections.
Ever since doing that Im all but cured, except some yeast issues after which went away eventually with diflucan and Floraster aswell as other probiotics,  that were recommended by other women. And stoneyfield yogurt, and Kefir.

The thing is, taking clindamycin carries risks, altho commonly prescribed by dentists and gynecologists.

An intestinal infection called C-Diff can result, as clindamycin effectively wipes out all the good bacteria in your intestines(aswell as bad in your body), and you can have the runs for months after taking a round of it. You can either get loose stools that will eventually go back to normal after a few weeks to a few months or c-diff which can be potentially life threatening. Please research. It doesn't happen to everyone but it does happen to some people, and this infection can result from any antibiotic, but is expecially linked to Clindamycin because its so powerful.

You will have to ask your doctor. I am not giving you medical advice, this is just what my doctor prescribed me. I convinced him.
Youll have to be taking the probiotics with the antibiotics a few hours apart from eachother, and months after, you must keep on with the probiotics.

Ask your doctor, ask your doctor!!!