Considering surgery

Hi. So glad to have found this group. I was diagnosed 4 years ago and was given lidocaine to help. Problem is with lidocaine that it kind of ruins the mood and only lasts a short time and I'm still. Left in a lot of pain once it wears off.

I've found myself single again and was considering the surgery now as I'm finally in stable job where I can get sick leave and being single no pressure to have sex afterwards as quickly as possible.

Have a few questions though. How much time would I need off work for a partial surgery? Would i be able to work from home after a few days?

Is it OK to not have sex for a long time after? Or do they suggest doing it to stretch the skin etc??


Any other help and advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks

Hi. I had a partial vestibulectomy in January 2015 and for me it was by far the easiest recovery ever! For the first couple of days you will be very sore and you probably won't be able to sit straight upwards, so I'd avoid working for the first 3 days. Although I was really sore I never had to touch the prescribed painkillers they gave me, and I'm the kind of person who feels suicidal over period pains!
After 5 days I attended a wedding, sitting down was still very uncomfortable for me due to the stitches poking me in every possible place but pain wise I was fine.
I went back to work after 2 weeks, my job is very active and busy so I was worried but it was so easy I never had a problem with working with stitches at all. Although they do recommended that you have 3-4 weeks off work, I don't think you will need it. Feeling fine and being off work will drive you insane.
Not having a boyfriend and having the surgery will probably work out best for you, you won't feel pressured into have sex before your body or yourself feels ready.
Not having sex for a while after surgery is okay too- a lady I know had the surgery and didn't have sex for 8 months after, if you wanted to stretch the surgical scar tissue you could invest in a dildo, or some dialators which have about 5 different sizes so you can get used to inserting things into your vagina without any pain again.
The first time you have sex after surgery will be painful, it was for me. I analysed everything from skin stretching to little twinges off pain, but after a month I learnt to relax and I was perfectly fine.
Surgery was the best descision I made personally- so if you feel like surgery is your only option left you may as well take the plunge and see a doctor who would be willing to operate on you. If your the right candidate of course- but if you respond to the gel (which I did too) the surgery should be a success for you ☺️
Good luck x

Thank you. Have an appointment with my gyno on the 21st so may discuss it then. I have always healed well after surgeries so hopefully if I do go for it it won't be so bad

As long as you have lots and lots of ice you will be just fine.

Thanks. I've moved my appointment up a week. I've also spoken to my dad as I still live at home and would need someone to look after me. He said he'll support me and look after me if it's what I want and the gyno thinks it's a good idea. Good think I have a good relationship with my father I can talk about this with haha

I still live with my parents too, my mom took 3 days off from work to make sure I had everything I needed and was comfortable so I think you having your dads support is amazing. -I'm glad you have someone who will help the recovery easier for you. :-)
Let me know if your gyno agrees to the operation. Make sure she/he has done this type of surgery before, it's better to know they've done this surgery before.

I don't know what the gyno will say. He may say to try other things. I just don't want to get back into a relationship and then put it off resulting in psychology issues. It's not going away, it hasn't been triggered by anything and it is one particular spot causing the pain. My mum took. Me to the doctors the first time but she passed away six months ago so unfortunately for my dad it's now his job to deal with my lady parts.

Id only have my gyno do it. He's very experienced and I trust him. Completely.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, it must be awful having to deal with the loss off a parent and have all this pain on top as well. You must be a very strong person.
I'm glad you have a gyno which you trust although your probably right he might want you to try alternative treatments before having the surgery done.

Honestly looking at other options none of them are really viable. I've used lidocaine for four years but it still leaves me in agony and only lasts about ten minutes after burning when putting it on not very conducive to me.

The problem is one tiny 5p size spot, have no issues with tightness or pelvic floor or anything else and other options seem better for generalised pain. I'm now getting very anxious that he'll say I can't have the surgery and even more anxious he will.

I'm terrified of getting into another relationship and dealing with it again esp since I was still left in a lot of pain by my ex who tbh was not very well endowed :-p I just want a normal sex life and don't want to start something and then find I start having psychological responses too and then just go through with th the op and have to abstain for any number of months.

If you respond to the gel your a candidate for surgery. You wouldn't need a full vestibulectomy neither you'd only need a partial so you recovery would be even quicker.
I hope he does say you can have the surgery, as for getting into a relationship I wouldn't worry about it to much. If your with the person who's right for you they won't mind waiting until you have surgery, or even doing alternative things until then. My boyfriend has been with me through it all and is so understanding. He's a night mare but not many lads who are my age(20) will stick to one girl. Especially one girl who had painful sex for 2 years and then couldn't have sex for 6 weeks.

If your having the surgery you can't think off future boyfriends or even relationships- you need to have it done for you, and you only.

it would be for me, don't worry. i want to enjoy myself. I'd just rather the surgery when i was single cos when I'm in a relationship my sex drive goes through the roof and i'd find it hard to abstain for that long and especially if I was in the early stages i wouldn't like to make the guy do it either.

I found some really good facebook support groups too now. Just 13 days til my doctors appointment and I think I'm gonna ask him if I can have it done.I think its the best move for me. Not just for sex but generally - would like to use tampons occasionally - even sanitary towels cause mild discomfort.

I just hope i do eventually find a guy and i will be able to have the awesome sex life I've always dreamt of

PS thanks for all the support and advice. You are awesome

Let me know how you get on- good luck!
No problem, I'm happy I could help you x

Thanks.. Appointment is on the 14th

Appointment tomorrow. Reckon if he agrees I may have to go to a specialist clinic rather than have it under him but I'm on my way!!!

So the saga continues...will have to go see a specialist. my gyno has suggested one that he knows and trusts though.

I'm glad you are on your way. At least he has referred you to someone he trusts and not just performing it himself