Newly diagnosed and shell shocked

Hello, I'm Lindilou, got diagnosed with Vulvodynia yesterday, can't take it all in yet, printed off info, and I'm scheduled for a biopsy next month which I believe rules out underlying skin conditions. Scared rigid I'll scream the walls down when the doctor injects local anaesthetic and that I'll be in agony for weeks afterwards.
How can it not be agonising when it hurts to be prodded with a cotton bud?!
Feel ridiculous, deformed, stupid, and I hate my vagina and wish I could just have it removed. No sex unless I want burning and stabbing pain in clitoris, seams on pants irritate me, sanitary towels irritate me, right now just existing seems to irritate. I hate the fact that the clinic is in the sexual health building so I keep thinking anyone who sees me walk in will assume I've got an STI.
My skin 'splits' at the base entrance of my vagina but apparently I'm deep set so the skin there is a bit web like, can't see how anything can be done to change my anatomy.
I feel angry wretched and stupid stupid stupid.

Hi Lindilou, welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear you are suffering. I remember how it feels to be so overwhelmed with information. Looking on the bright side at least you have managed to receive a diagnosis so you can start to work with your doctors into looking at treatments, and you have found this forum for support. It really is a wealth of info from people who understand what you’re going through.

Again, though, it can be a lot to take in and everyone’s case is different so have a read through at your own pace and see if anything strikes a chord.

We’re always here if you want to ask questions or have a rant. There’s also a “secret” facebook group set up if you’re on there, Naomi on here can add you if you PM her.

You are not alone and there are many things to try which might help you. Sending good wishes your way.

Thank you ButterflyLiz, I'm not on FB, I'm a bit older, I'm ancient lol in my 40's so the technological revolution passed me by, it's amazing I can email..I would very much like to hear from anyone who has had this biopsy under local anaesthetic. What was it like, is it survivable? Did it help?

Biopsy won't help the situation. If you have vv it will irritate it!

It sounds like you have it to me. If there is no visible change in the skin I doubt a biopsy is required. Doctors just like to test things so they look like they are doing a decent job.

This forum is the best place for info. I would suggest a less invasive test - get your serum (blood) hormone levels tested - ALL of them. See what comes up.

Get proactive about your condition - if you look at it in the right way it can empower you. There are so many things to try and if you don't keep posititive and focused you can really get down in the dumps.

Here if you want to talk (search the celebrating the positive forum)

Thanks Aussie this is my increasing feeling