Log in

I forgot my password

Latest topics
I'm new to this forum and would love some advice! :)

Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:13 am by anikita

Hi lovely gals!

I'm honestly hoping to get any bit of advice anyone might have to offer. I go from bouts of sobbing hysterically in my boyfriend's arms to feeling confident that I can beat this.

I haven't been actually diagnosed with vulvodynia but EVERYTHING under the sun has come back negative. I started having sex 4 years ago after starting Lo Loestrin, with my first and current boyfriend …

Comments: 1

I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?

Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:17 pm by Tunes25

Hello!

I am a 25 year old woman and wanted to share my story here as I feel frustrated by the suggestions of my gyno and am hoping for some advice.

To give the context for this: in September 2016 I moved in with my long term boyfriend after living abroad a year and (nearly) abstaining from sex. Within a few weeks I had got a yeast infection which I treated myself successfully, but then 2 weeks …

Comments: 8

Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams

Thu May 10, 2018 9:43 am by Rosie21

Hi I have been suffering for some years with this abominable pain. I have tried most of the systemic drugs , I asked specialists and Doctors if I could at least try a topical treatment but because this requires a special prescription have been refused Has anybody had a chance of trying these? Thank you I will try to put a link on to some of the research into Gabapentin Gel. Thanks.

Comments: 1

What has been helping ME (much less pain over time!!)

Wed May 16, 2018 3:43 am by leoscc

Hello everyone! I vanished for quite some time as my life became consumed by not only this but other daily responsibilities as well. Shortly after my diagnosis, my boyfriend f 3 years left me as he did not want to deal with this. It left me broken for a while but also gave me time to figure out what the heck was going on. So, I will write out a quick list of my symptoms and what helped me.

1. I …

Comments: 0

I cured myself 100% of vulvodynia twenty years ago--I hope this helps someone

Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:33 pm by totallycured

Hi,

Every so often I'm reminded of the constant, persistent, horrible pain I was in two decades ago, and I reach out to try to help others who are suffering. If someone had offered me a solution during that terrible time, I'd have jumped at it. I hope this helps someone.

Yes, I did have terrible vulvodynia. It felt like someone poured acid all over my vulva. My doctor confirmed it and was …

Comments: 4

Condoms Less Painful?

Mon May 07, 2018 3:35 am by stillinpain

I'm just curious, has anyone found using condoms to be less abrasive to the skin than without? I just got off birth control and haven't stretched myself out enough post surgery to try sex yet, but when I do I am wondering how trying it with condoms with affect the sensation. I feel like for me the skin to skin sensation creates pain, not just at my entrance but internally, too, since I also have …

Comments: 0

Will there be an end?

Fri Apr 27, 2018 12:06 am by Krista2828

I go in and out of being okay and not being okay with this condition. I question often why me? I am a problem solver by nature and I feel so defeated that after tons of research and trial and error and doctors and tears that there still is no answer.

I am in my 20's.. it shouldn't be this way.

Id love to know what all has worked! I am willing to try anything to get my life back. I am curious …

Comments: 6

you can be healed so easy and quite fast.

Thu Apr 26, 2018 11:46 pm by pussycat

Hello everyone,
i am new to this forum. I wanted to share my personal "journey" with V with you and to give you a real hope you can be totally healed/recovered from V. Many years ago i was struck with V, it was painful and got worst and worst, eventually i could not sit, could not stand, could not walk, could not swim in a swimming pool anymore. I was becoming bedridden, it frightened …

Comments: 4

Hi Im from Australia :)

Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:08 am by emma

Hi girls... I live in Australia.
I am currently undergoing a new treatment for vulvodynia. Just wondering if anyone else here has tried it. It's Endep in the form of cream to apply directly on the area. I dont know if anyone else has tried this but so far evidently it has had a 50% success rate.
Anyway i feel at a loss. This new treatment is exciting but at the same time i just dont feel like …

Comments: 35


Easier sex?

Go down

Easier sex?

Post  Layla2121 on Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:43 am

I've only recently found i've had vulva vestubulitis (after years of thinking it was all in my head) and it's been quite depressing finding that there's not many treatments out there for it. I was hoping that, since i can't cure it, there might anything i can do that makes the symptoms more bearable - and make sex easier?

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and its almost always hurt during sex. At first I thought it was normal (since i thought after your 1st time it took a while to get used to it) but i've realized this isn't normal and it always seems to be just the opening of the vagina that gets sore and inflamed.

I wondered if anyone has found something that helps make sex less painful? I've heard that you can numb it but since i dont really trust condoms, my boyfriend would probably get numb too - which sorta defeats the purpose xD Is there any creams or anything that helps stops the pain but doesn't effect the contraceptive pill?

Please help D: x (I made it colourful so it's more fun to read ;D)

Layla2121

Posts : 2
Join date : 2012-04-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Yes you can make it better

Post  LizLemonny on Sun Apr 15, 2012 5:52 am

Your experience matches mine, though I was not diagnosed for much longer, after I became more communicative to guys I was with and several said that this WAS very unusual; so I went back to the doctors and said there WAS something and I would not be denied or fobbed off, and got referred to a proper gynaecologist and got my diagnosis. It's Vulvar Vestibulitis VVA and sounds like yours.

I had a long-term partner and sex with him was much more manageable as we could fully communicate. Most of this is probably evident to you and your BF but here you go:

1. Know exactly where your weak spots are.
2. Warm up for ages before attempting penetration - build in routines that are outercourse ie frottage (very good and guy likes it), hand, oral if you like, self stimulation for both if you like.
3. Pschology of guy - they get anxty if they don't know if sex is on the menu or not so tell them asap before or during - I think we can/can't have sex tonight. Once they know they relax much more (either way).
4. Make sure you know the guy's favourite second choice if intercourse is not going to be good.
5. Intercourse is very variable - at some times of the month it is more manageable.
6. If intercourse is very slow or almost stationary then it is much better. Not exactly what a guy expects but there are ways of getting him off (eg squeeze, talk dirty etc) without the movement.
7. Sit on him so you are in control.
8. Boost visual stimuli as you are not keen on highly physical sex.
9. Become a star at BJs - try extras like champagne, ice (put in your mouth first for minute or two then remove) to divert from the fact you are not a star at sex.
10. Can't think of number 10 right now but I'm sure you will..................

Have fun
Put in lidocaine afterwards and lie back and relax the area and the pain will subside much quicker.
Remember that although you hurt or even bleed a little bit during sex (I sometimes got a little blood if sex was too fast) but it is not as if you are going to do yourself any real damage it will heal up again very quickly - so try not to be scared.
I don't know about yours, but my VVA was inflamed entrance to Bartholins glands so it was possible to 'bipass' the pain if sex was very slow, but any pulling would open up the gland entrance and then I would get the burning pain. If I gritted my teeth and took the pain then the pulling (even if very lubricated) would sometimes nick the inflamation so there would be spots of blood or swelling up. (I never identified what was happening till after my diagnosis as I really had no idea where the pain was coming from).
xx

LizLemonny

Posts : 14
Join date : 2012-04-14

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Thanks!

Post  Layla2121 on Tue Apr 17, 2012 6:42 pm

Thanks, thats really helped alot. Taking things slowly has made it alot easier and although it still hurts a little its much better since i'm more relaxed than before.
I was wondering aswell if it can get worse? like if you don't try and do anything about it. Because I haven't tried anything since sex is still bearable and its only during penetration that it hurts, but i'm worried that maybe I should....has it gotten worse for you over time? x

Layla2121

Posts : 2
Join date : 2012-04-13

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The pill

Post  xlmc89x on Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:00 pm

I would suggest not taking a birth control pill. I know it sucks and makes things a bit more frustrating, but the pill can stop natural hormone production in some women and can make vulvodynia worse. I'd suggest The V Book by Elizabeth Stewart or When Sex Hurts by Irwin and Andrew Goldstein. It can really explain why the pill isn't good for women with this condition. I don't know if it has anything to do with your pain or not but I know it was a huge factor in mine and I was told to stop taking it immediately.

xlmc89x

Posts : 8
Join date : 2012-03-24

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Easier sex?

Post  joanna82 on Fri Apr 20, 2012 7:31 am

hello girls,
I was wondering if any of you has tried the lubricant "Yes" and what are your thoughts on it.
Apologies if I'm repeating a topic....

Next month i'm going to see a Gynec in Barcelona, she has writen a few papers on Vulvodynia, I hope she can give more advice than what i received from irish doctors (use cotton nickers and don't use soaps down there.... really?!?!?!?! i didnt know that yet, so helpfull!! and what about sex????)

I'm really frustrated right now, and so is my partner, i dont blame him. Its not only the sex that is bad, is also that i have become this angry lonely woman, i always enjoyed sex, now i dont wnat to even be touched. There's sex on tv, i change the channel. I hate trying new things, i always say no to everything that he proposes... I know it's my head but i dont know how to control it, how to change this mindset. I was reading your post LizLemmony and i was thinking, yeah that sounds good, i could do that! but i know that once i'm there in bed, i'll start getting angry and will stop..... No

joanna82

Posts : 3
Join date : 2011-11-01

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Yep not surprising

Post  LizLemonny on Fri Apr 20, 2012 12:14 pm

Hi Layla Hi Joanna

Layla - mine never got worse (got better after I had babies as well).

Joanna - mine is vestibulitis which is not as bad as vulvodynia. So bearing that in mind - at first I didn't get 'angry' because I did not know what was the matter with me and thought it was me or something in my mind - which is what doctors were saying or implying as they could not find anything wrong. So... I had nothing to be angry with. Once I had the diagnosis I did get much, much angrier so I get this.

Also I was lucky to have a very inexperienced partner so he went along with the whole thing and did not feel cheated. When I saw other men they were very put out and although some were cool with the way I needed sex to be I also knew they were thinking this was something they would not have been OK with in a long term relationship. So, again, this is not surprising.

Also I have never had pain-free sex (except as I have described) so have not 'missed' it though often I think about it.

So...... taking it all into consideration..... no wonder you and he are fed up. I think the best way back in is to wait for an occasion where you both want to have sex and agree not to have penetrative sex but explore the other possibilities with an open mind. There are some quite surprising things that guys do seem to like a lot which do not involve penetration. As a result you get turned on by this. It's really not bad.

But also I remember times when we did try having sex and ended up both pissed off as a lot of complex things happen (you don't say that it is hurting; he is trying to find out; he's too busy worrying to enjoy the sex; you are therefore basically faking it; it just gets going then you say you have to stop etc etc). We also had an agreement that we would start sex at the 'last poss minute' so that it was very quick and there was not enough time for me to resent what was happening but I could think about him enjoying it (I could keep this up for a few minutes but then it begins to get alienating).

Good luck in Barcelona!
Liz

LizLemonny

Posts : 14
Join date : 2012-04-14

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Easier sex?

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum