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» Please tell me this can get better
Today at 2:10 am by anon99

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Today at 12:00 am by Bx11

» Lichen Sclerosus
Fri Feb 16, 2018 2:47 am by ryn207

» MAY HAVE FOUND A CURE- PLEASE READ
Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:04 pm by infinitelywondering

» my rock bottom, psychological effects of vulvodynia, I told him he can leave me
Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:43 am by renegade_magdalena

» Some interesting information about nerve pain in general
Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:58 am by Athena

» Sore after using dilator for first time in a year
Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:45 am by Athena

» What helped me
Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:38 am by Athena

» NO PAIN DURING SEX
Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:33 am by Athena

MAY HAVE FOUND A CURE- PLEASE READ

Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:04 pm by infinitelywondering

Dear all,

Today has been the day I've been waiting for. The day something FINALLY makes sense.
I've been told countless times that I've got nerve damage or a muscular condition, yet none of the specific treatments have helped me. My GP suggested attacking this from a different angle so referred me to a dermatologist specialist


after having a vestibulectomy with no success, I decided to visit …

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NO PAIN DURING SEX

Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:18 am by rockylife

I HAVE NO PAIN DURING SEX, BUT I FEEL THIS BURNING SENSATION ALL DAY JUST BESIDE THE VAGINAL OPENING. DO I REALLY HAVE A VULVODYNIA? I'M CONFUSED.

Comments: 2

Newby not sure where to turn

Thu Feb 01, 2018 3:32 pm by Cerjo87

Hi this is all very new to me , well the talking about it bit is , the pain while having sex and also the uncomfortable feelings after and feeling like I have  sistitus most of the time I’m very used to , I’ve suffered for 7 years now I’m only 30 . Finally after all this time the doctors or should I say my gp has said I have Vulvodynia and have givin me gabapentin to try .i told her I’d …

Comments: 4

Looking for a friend..... and new problems

Sat Jan 06, 2018 11:38 pm by infinitelywondering

Hi everyone,

I hope you're doing well.

I hate to say this, but I feel beaten down and terribly alone. I had a vestibulectomy surgery about 6 months ago and I was absolutely praying it would work. It didn't.

6 months later and here I am, sitting on my bedroom floor crying my eyes out because I know I'll never be able to have painfree sex. I don't know what to do and just need a friend Sad



Comments: 8

Newbie to the site

Sun Jul 30, 2017 12:16 am by Ksa

Hello. Thank you for this wonderful site. I'm currently under the care of a dr in Phoenix that specializes in vaginal disorders. I will probably be on a suppository of estridol the rest of my life and I am currently on medications for a rare form of vaginitis that's pretty unheard of for my age. My vagina literally hates me. I've struggled with vulvadynia for 20 years, the duration of my …

Comments: 4

Vulvodynia from #metoo media coverage

Thu Jan 25, 2018 9:01 pm by dooleyhornberg

I am wondering if anyone else in this forum has experience an increase or flare up in their vulvodynia as a result of the coverage of the sexual abuse scandals in Hollywood, DC, and the recent gymnastics scandal. I have definitely had a flare up.

Comments: 0

So frustrating!!

Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:15 am by Hannah77

Well I'm back in pain after 7 years of pain free days.
I was diagnosed with vulvodynia when I was 17. I suffered for three years with horrible burning all day, painful sex with my boyfriend and just pure misery Sad I went into a spontaneous remission when I was 20. I'm still not sure how the pain stopped but all the sudden I could go an entire day without thinking of my vagina, sex started to …

Comments: 3

Looking for suggestions or encouragement

Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:10 am by ryn207

Hi there. I'm 25 and have been dealing with this for over a year and a half and I'm really starting to lose hope this will ever stop.

In July of 2016 I had a yeast infection. When Monistat didn't work I went to my gynecologist who prescribed Diflucan. When the itching didn't stop she retested me and found that my yeast infection was gone, but I now had a bacterial infection. After taking the …

Comments: 4

Amitriptyline given for vulvodyina pain

Tue Oct 24, 2017 2:46 pm by katycrawford

Hi there,

After years of being misdiagnosed etc as most women have on this forum I have finally been diagnosed with vulvodynia (yay) and have been given the lowest dose of an antidepressant called Amitriptyline. Has anyone been on this before and has any positive (or negative) news to give me? Im feeling down already and I've only been taking it for a few days, I don't have much hope of it …

Comments: 11


Easier sex?

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Easier sex?

Post  Layla2121 on Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:43 am

I've only recently found i've had vulva vestubulitis (after years of thinking it was all in my head) and it's been quite depressing finding that there's not many treatments out there for it. I was hoping that, since i can't cure it, there might anything i can do that makes the symptoms more bearable - and make sex easier?

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and its almost always hurt during sex. At first I thought it was normal (since i thought after your 1st time it took a while to get used to it) but i've realized this isn't normal and it always seems to be just the opening of the vagina that gets sore and inflamed.

I wondered if anyone has found something that helps make sex less painful? I've heard that you can numb it but since i dont really trust condoms, my boyfriend would probably get numb too - which sorta defeats the purpose xD Is there any creams or anything that helps stops the pain but doesn't effect the contraceptive pill?

Please help D: x (I made it colourful so it's more fun to read ;D)

Layla2121

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Yes you can make it better

Post  LizLemonny on Sun Apr 15, 2012 5:52 am

Your experience matches mine, though I was not diagnosed for much longer, after I became more communicative to guys I was with and several said that this WAS very unusual; so I went back to the doctors and said there WAS something and I would not be denied or fobbed off, and got referred to a proper gynaecologist and got my diagnosis. It's Vulvar Vestibulitis VVA and sounds like yours.

I had a long-term partner and sex with him was much more manageable as we could fully communicate. Most of this is probably evident to you and your BF but here you go:

1. Know exactly where your weak spots are.
2. Warm up for ages before attempting penetration - build in routines that are outercourse ie frottage (very good and guy likes it), hand, oral if you like, self stimulation for both if you like.
3. Pschology of guy - they get anxty if they don't know if sex is on the menu or not so tell them asap before or during - I think we can/can't have sex tonight. Once they know they relax much more (either way).
4. Make sure you know the guy's favourite second choice if intercourse is not going to be good.
5. Intercourse is very variable - at some times of the month it is more manageable.
6. If intercourse is very slow or almost stationary then it is much better. Not exactly what a guy expects but there are ways of getting him off (eg squeeze, talk dirty etc) without the movement.
7. Sit on him so you are in control.
8. Boost visual stimuli as you are not keen on highly physical sex.
9. Become a star at BJs - try extras like champagne, ice (put in your mouth first for minute or two then remove) to divert from the fact you are not a star at sex.
10. Can't think of number 10 right now but I'm sure you will..................

Have fun
Put in lidocaine afterwards and lie back and relax the area and the pain will subside much quicker.
Remember that although you hurt or even bleed a little bit during sex (I sometimes got a little blood if sex was too fast) but it is not as if you are going to do yourself any real damage it will heal up again very quickly - so try not to be scared.
I don't know about yours, but my VVA was inflamed entrance to Bartholins glands so it was possible to 'bipass' the pain if sex was very slow, but any pulling would open up the gland entrance and then I would get the burning pain. If I gritted my teeth and took the pain then the pulling (even if very lubricated) would sometimes nick the inflamation so there would be spots of blood or swelling up. (I never identified what was happening till after my diagnosis as I really had no idea where the pain was coming from).
xx

LizLemonny

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Thanks!

Post  Layla2121 on Tue Apr 17, 2012 6:42 pm

Thanks, thats really helped alot. Taking things slowly has made it alot easier and although it still hurts a little its much better since i'm more relaxed than before.
I was wondering aswell if it can get worse? like if you don't try and do anything about it. Because I haven't tried anything since sex is still bearable and its only during penetration that it hurts, but i'm worried that maybe I should....has it gotten worse for you over time? x

Layla2121

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The pill

Post  xlmc89x on Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:00 pm

I would suggest not taking a birth control pill. I know it sucks and makes things a bit more frustrating, but the pill can stop natural hormone production in some women and can make vulvodynia worse. I'd suggest The V Book by Elizabeth Stewart or When Sex Hurts by Irwin and Andrew Goldstein. It can really explain why the pill isn't good for women with this condition. I don't know if it has anything to do with your pain or not but I know it was a huge factor in mine and I was told to stop taking it immediately.

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Re: Easier sex?

Post  joanna82 on Fri Apr 20, 2012 7:31 am

hello girls,
I was wondering if any of you has tried the lubricant "Yes" and what are your thoughts on it.
Apologies if I'm repeating a topic....

Next month i'm going to see a Gynec in Barcelona, she has writen a few papers on Vulvodynia, I hope she can give more advice than what i received from irish doctors (use cotton nickers and don't use soaps down there.... really?!?!?!?! i didnt know that yet, so helpfull!! and what about sex????)

I'm really frustrated right now, and so is my partner, i dont blame him. Its not only the sex that is bad, is also that i have become this angry lonely woman, i always enjoyed sex, now i dont wnat to even be touched. There's sex on tv, i change the channel. I hate trying new things, i always say no to everything that he proposes... I know it's my head but i dont know how to control it, how to change this mindset. I was reading your post LizLemmony and i was thinking, yeah that sounds good, i could do that! but i know that once i'm there in bed, i'll start getting angry and will stop..... No

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Yep not surprising

Post  LizLemonny on Fri Apr 20, 2012 12:14 pm

Hi Layla Hi Joanna

Layla - mine never got worse (got better after I had babies as well).

Joanna - mine is vestibulitis which is not as bad as vulvodynia. So bearing that in mind - at first I didn't get 'angry' because I did not know what was the matter with me and thought it was me or something in my mind - which is what doctors were saying or implying as they could not find anything wrong. So... I had nothing to be angry with. Once I had the diagnosis I did get much, much angrier so I get this.

Also I was lucky to have a very inexperienced partner so he went along with the whole thing and did not feel cheated. When I saw other men they were very put out and although some were cool with the way I needed sex to be I also knew they were thinking this was something they would not have been OK with in a long term relationship. So, again, this is not surprising.

Also I have never had pain-free sex (except as I have described) so have not 'missed' it though often I think about it.

So...... taking it all into consideration..... no wonder you and he are fed up. I think the best way back in is to wait for an occasion where you both want to have sex and agree not to have penetrative sex but explore the other possibilities with an open mind. There are some quite surprising things that guys do seem to like a lot which do not involve penetration. As a result you get turned on by this. It's really not bad.

But also I remember times when we did try having sex and ended up both pissed off as a lot of complex things happen (you don't say that it is hurting; he is trying to find out; he's too busy worrying to enjoy the sex; you are therefore basically faking it; it just gets going then you say you have to stop etc etc). We also had an agreement that we would start sex at the 'last poss minute' so that it was very quick and there was not enough time for me to resent what was happening but I could think about him enjoying it (I could keep this up for a few minutes but then it begins to get alienating).

Good luck in Barcelona!
Liz

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Re: Easier sex?

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