lost and want to help...

Hi

I've been reading what everyone has posted on here, trying to understand my fiancees condition better. But i am struggling as i feel so helpless.

Basically my fiancee was diagnosed with V early this year, after months if not years of pain. She is amazing but recently has been really low. She suffers from depression and suffering from v obviously has made it worse.

i cant even comprehend what she's going threw and find myself getting frustrated. Not with her you must understand but with the whole condition. i don't know how to help her, i try being supportive but she thinks i don't understand the condition and how she feels. I guess this is why i am hear, to try and research but i don't know where to start.

i know i need to be more calming etc because stress doesn't help what else can i do and how??

hi,

really sorry to hear that your partner is feeling low. I'm so impressed that you are looking for ways to help her!

It can make me very low too, especially when it feels like there is nothing that helps, so I think it's important to keep trying things until something helps it.

I don't know what/if she has had any treatment but things I have found helpful:

- amitryptaline to suppress the pain. This is not a long term solution & the side affects were very tough for a month (made me feel like I couldn't think properly and was exhausted) but it has made it possible for me to keep working and doing lots of the things that make me happy, while I work on helping to reduce the pain without medication so I can come off it.

- physiotherapy: I saw a physio who started me off by asking me to gently touch the area around the vagina and just inside it each day. At first it was excruciating but after a couple of weeks I felt that the pain I felt on contact reduced significantly. She said this was de-sensitizing the nerves.

-internal massage: she then recommended that I search for internal trigger points where I felt more pain inside/could feel a muscle knot and massage this very gently for 30 seconds. This also helped a bit.

- I bought this book: Heal Your Pelvis by Physiotherapist amy stein. It includes exercises to lengthen the pelvic floor, relax it and stretch the muscles around it which get tense. I don't think it will cure me but I think it is helping me to relax and to feel like my general pelvic area is less tense and painful.

Then I would recommend finding a physio/chiropractor to help your partner with some professional advice.

take care

I am impressed too that you took the initiative to try to help her and reach out to other women suffering, can you please read my recent post called Dr. Goldstein! I really think it will be insightful for you and your wife. Best of luck!!