Young in pain

So I've been dealing with this anxiety about my probpems for a while, and I decided to share with people who will actually understand. I was just diagnosed with vulvodynia this summer. My gynecologist also suspects I have endometriosis. At twenty years old, I sometimes feel hopeless. I've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years, and for about the last two, we've been sexually "active." I've never been able to have sex with him successfully. Although he is patient and understanding, I have so much anxiety about it. How long will he be patient? If i don't find a magic cure, will he give up on me? And will i ever get to know what sex is really supposed to feel like? I talk about it with him sometimes, but he always tells me i should see if using my dilator will help. The thought of even using it makes me uncomfortable, and now that i know what the problem is, i don't even think it would help. But he's convinced, and he doesn't want me in pain so he keeps bringing it up. I feel like no matter what I'm going to always be in pain and always have this anxiety. I feel like I'm too young to be having these kinds of problems with sex. I just want us both to be happy, but i feel like this will always be a problem. Well at least if i do end up alone, I'll have an awesome career as an ob/gyn to focus on.

Don't give up on getting better. You're so young, and you never know, gently trying some of the suggestions you may find it helps. The most important thing is to try and relax. And talk to your boyfriend. You've been together a while, so tell him your fears. He doesn't have the chance to show you he's sticking around if you don't give him the opportunity to be there for you when you're feeling like this. Remember how brave you are, having gone to the doctors and sought help. Try and take some small steps. You never know, it could resolve quote quickly with the right approach. Not everyone who has this pain condition has it long term. It varies in each case. Stay strong.

To me the thought of using a dilator just sounds like it'll hurt like hell as well. I know it works for some, but if your not comfortable trying it, it's likely going to cause more pain than good due to constricted muscles from anxiety of it.

As a less scary option, I find that sitz baths with epsom salt are extremely helpful, but I always make sure to dry thoroughly afterwards, with a hairdryer even. Self massage down there can also be very helpful, and can have a similar effect as a dilator if done well.

Good luck!