I have always wondered about this...

Hi, all.

Does sexual arousal or orgasm (from a female "wet dream" or external clitoral stimulation alone...not intercourse) cause you pain hours later or the next day? It makes those few seconds of pleasure so not worth it for me. It is just cruel, right? I can't have pain free sex...and, if I do happen to get aroused and want to go through with external stimulation to the point of orgasm, as it seems like a good idea at the time, then I suffer for it the next day or later on with increased burning. I have read on some of these posts that some people think that getting the blood flowing is good. For me, it just causes more pain. Anybody else have my experience?

Hey flashlight,

I havent been brave enough to test this theory...wearing clothes hurts so I can only imagine when that other type of activity would do to me.

But still I think everyone is different and I dont think avoiding our sexual sides is healthy either.

We cant win it seems.

I used to have this, before I knew how to use my muscles down there, before I saw a physio. I worked out that it was because for some reason my pelvic floor tensed during arousal. So when I orgasmed and tensed the muscles even more it caused pain. I have now learned to relax during stimulation ( it took a lot of work because it was automatic for me, always has been I think) and don't suffer with the burning the next day. Once you get control of the muscles you can feel when they are relaxed or not.

Hope this is helpful

Hi there,

I found recently (in the last 6 weeks or so) that orgasms have started to be painful, too. For me there is pain right when it happens (burning at the opening), followed by deep pain (uterine) that can go on for a few hours. I haven't noticed that it causes a flare up of more vulvar irritation later on, though. I think that the deep pain is caused by endometriosis, which my gyno suspects that I have. Is your pain deep or at the vulva, flashlight?
My physio seems to mostly do muscle relaxation and trigger point stuff down there - she hasn't taught me anything about muscle control down there. Aussie, how did you learn pelvic floor control?
Thanks!

biofeedback.

I've done some biofeedback too Zazu, it's worth at least having a couple of sessions. I had an incredibly tight pelvic floor (still have actually) and couldn't release the muscles at all at the start. While I was chatting to the therapist my pelvic floor was getting tighter and tighter and I could see the line on the screen going up but couldn't stop it! I really felt like the PF was relaxed and it wasn't at all.

I asked my physio about bifeedback, she seemed very dismissive, said its probably not what I need. Should I press this point, do you think? I want to try everything that might help. I might just ask her more about why she thinks it would not help. Has anyone else been told something similar?

Biofeedback is useful is you aren't controlling your pelvic floor properly, it shows you how much it's tensed on a day to day basis and what it does when you do certain things. If you think you may have a tight pelvic floor that you need to be more in touch with then it's worth a go. You can also get your resting tone from biofeedback and learn how much the tone is spiking up and down when it's supposed to be resting (PF instability which Dr Glazer is convinced it's critical to fix) I don't know why your physio is being so dismissive as they use it for all manner of physio related problems in different ways, is it that your physio can't provide you with biofeedback and doesn't want to lose a client to someone who can? If you want to try it then push, it's up to you at the end of the day.

Thanks, Sarah. I don't think it was fear of losing a paitient- she mentioned she had done it before and I think they have the equipment at the centre she is at. I think she just developed a whole plan for me and biofeedback wasnt part of it. I have been steadily improving doing her exercises and seeing her regularly, so I think ill just put myself in her hands for a while. Partly because I trust in her informed opinion, but probably mostly just because Im so tired of thinking about this stupid thing and just want someone else to make decisions and look after me.

for me, the pain is burning. If I don't have any penetration, just external stimulation, I just get worse burning. So, that doesn't make sense, because there is no involvement of the muscles except for what contracts during orgasm, if it occurs...But, i get worse pain even if I just have unrelieved arousal. If I do actually have sex, the burning fire at the introitus is hideous. I have no internal pain. Just can't get past the threshold without causing agony. The outside is fine, the inside is fine, but the "mucosal" surface inside the labia minora is just red, red, red and on fire.

Yup....even arousal w/out sex hurts.

Sally