a long painful journey

I just found this forum tonight. I went looking for it in hopes of getting much needed support. I was introduced to the term "vulvodynia" a few months ago by a good friend who was determined to find me some help. After learning more about it online, I pretty much decided that it must be what I have. I located a specialist and, during my initial appointment, had my first ever validation of my pain being real. I felt so relieved that someone actually was taking me seriously. He said I had multiple physical issues. The most pressing at that time was a skin problem that had developed due to low levels of estrogen. He said the skin at my vaginal opening was tissue paper thin and tore with hardly any pressure applied during the cotton-swab test. So, he started me on a estrogen cream and has since removed my IUD which he said was likely causing the estrogen depletion. At my return visit, he completed the physical exam and has diagnosed me as having a congenital defect. Basically, he says my entire (internal) pelvic anatomy is the size of an 8 year old. He says he is convinced this is the reason for my pain and the only viable treatment is a surgery called perineoplasty surgery. He says the problem is so "obvious" that he can't believe I've never diagnosed before. "Obvious" to him, anyway, but not to the 8+ doctors I've seen over the past 18 years. He's a specialist, so maybe he really knows what he's talking about. It's all a bit much for me to take in. I'm glad to finally be in a place where I am emotionally strong enough to be pursuing an answer. I have been dealing with dyspareunia for my entire marriage (18 years) with a fairly non-supportive husband and have always been told by gyn doctors that there is nothing wrong with me physically. So, now I finally feel validated. Great feeling - but is also creating an enormous amount of anger inside me. I'm wondering how the rest of you have come to terms with anger toward a medical community that is mostly ignorant as well as husbands who all too often believe the medical community.

Can't help with husbands touchstone department I am alone in lol but the medical Yup that's something I do understand. I used to be miserable, depressed, furious at each doctor who told me there was nothing wrong and gave me an antibiotic and said take this. But like you I found a specialist and I an pretty much cured so now I channeled the depression and anger into gratefulness that there is someone who can help me get better- and I did, but thru my recovery (from a different surgery then you) I was still terrified and depressed. But now im feeling so much better that it doesn't matter I think now you need to focus on how this particular doctor can help you and hard as it may be forget the other docs they don't matter anymore. Burning do understand where you're coming from are you doing the surgery?

Thanks for your reply. I'm not sure about the surgery yet. I still need to meet with the surgeon to find out more. That will also serve as a second opinion. Assuming he also says that's what I need, I still don't feel ready for it yet. However, I know it will be necessary before I'm willing to resume intercourse. I reached the end of my tolerance for the whole sex thing back in October. So, either they (the doctors) figure out a way to eliminate the pain, or else I'm through with sex. This has taken such a toll on me that I honestly have no desire for sex. I think I would be quite happy never having to have sex again.

Haha I said the same thing I don't know what your surgery would entail but mine was worth it tho I haven't had sex yet but im assuming I can because I can use my vibrator. I have an infection I think now and im just done with everything vagina related lol of you aren't ready don't do it there's probably something else to try?