All things pregnancy and birth!!! so confused!!

Hi Ladies,

Me and my husband are planning on trying for a baby next year.

I cannot always have intercourse so this is one stumbling block that I am trying to work on! unfortunately anxiety around sex can often completely shut down my sex drive

So all being well and I do manage to get pregnant I then have to deal with the whole birth issue...very very scary! 

I am concerned about vulval and vaginal pain during birth and whether I will tighten up like I do initially during intercourse! Once I relax a bit I do stretch and its more comfortable but as for birth...I have no idea how the whole thing works. I worry it won't actually be possible for me to give birth and it will be dangerous for the baby.

I have been considering whether I would opt for caesarean? How easy is this to get? I have read recently that in the uk if after 'counselling' you still insist on a caesarean they should under nhs guidelines let you have one. I guess I figure I wont be taken seriously by the doctors.

I have read a few posts about pregnancy on this forum last year and it seemed that vaginal delivery was being promoted and recommended which was a surprise but a nice surprise.

So if anyone knows anything, let me know!

Thanks all

x

Sebby

Hi Sebby,
I don't know much about the pregnancy and birth thing but hold on a minute, Husband??! When did that happen you minx?   It's really nice to see you back on here and life has obviously changed alot for you! x

I asked my doc hypothetically because I def do not ever want to get pregnant. But he said don't let anyone talk you into a c-section as they can be dangerous. He also mentioned that vulvodynia can get better by pregnancy and birth. Also you can have his sperm put in you without sex too but... I doubt that's the route you want to take lol

Hi Hun I haven't really announced my marriage have I?! It's been 8 months and I'm real lucky he is so patient and kind. Had a big relapse of depression prior to getting engaged but I'm hopeful I'm handling things better now!
I have read that vaginal birth can help stretch you lol I think I do fear the baby won't be able to come out! x

Pretty sure you can't stop it haha talk to your doc!

Well congratulations sweetheart!   And turns out I do know something you might find helpful, try this link:

http://www.epi-no.co.uk/index.php/product-category/epi-no-delphine-plus/

That might give you the confidence to know your muscles will stretch and I know some women even "give birth" to the balloon part to practice! I intend to buy one when I'm ready for some serious pelvic floor stretching which isn't yet but it's good to know it's out there when I'm ready. Once again congratulations on your marriage! xx

Why would you want to strengthen your muscles though? That in my case would defeat physical therapy and everything else I have gone thru. Maybe for other women who don't have these issues we do but if your muscles are already tight I'm pretty sure this would make it worse?

It's used pre birth to stretch the muscles, by inflating the balloon it stretches the tissue and if necessary it can be used after to strengthen the muscles as a type of biofeedback device. I'm certain inflating a balloon is going to stretch the muscles Alana, if you read the description it says it can stretch them to 10 cm so enough to give birth to the baby's head. It's entirely up to the individual if they want to strengthen afterwards and can be used solely for the stretching so suitable for us V sufferers.

Honestly was just asking...

Thank you Sarah, this looks very interesting! Would most deff try it! One of my main fears is tearing : o I have dialators also that I may try again just so I can feel more confident wiv sex so I can't actually get pregnant lol! x

Managed to have sex last nite it does hurt at first but is much better once I relax and get into it lol! Did use contraception as still scared to get pregnant yet lol but pleased I'm able to practice!

Hi Sebby, did you get pregnant!?!?

Hi everyone!! I'm knew on this site and am so glad I found it as I felt I was living with this all alone.

I have had vulvodynia ever since I became sexually active and like most of you self diagnosed myself as doctors don't understand what it is!!

I am currently 8 weeks pregnant and have been taking amitriptiline (anti depressants) for the past three years which really worked for me. My symptoms disappeared and very rarely showed an appearance. I am still taking the tablets whilst pregnant as doc has advised in on a very low dosage. However I hve had symptoms twice since being pregnant which makes me wonder if mine was triggered by sex but active due to hormones??

I am too worried about birth, doctors have told me i will defo tear which is going to probably make me worse. I have since read natural births can help with vulvodynia and having a meditating birth can help relax your vaginal muscles. I'm going to try and give it a go along with a water birth.

Also if you don't already. I wash with aqueous cream and use it as a cream if my symptoms are present and it really helps.

Hopefully all our prayers will be answerd and we can have a pain free life!!!

Hey little miss! Congratulations on the pregnancy. Very exciting! A meditating birth sounds like a lovely idea. I too like the sound of a water birth! I can't wait to have kids, not for a few years though! I hope you have as stress and pain free a pregnancy as possible and that giving birth sorts out the vulvodynia!

Thanks hun!! I will let you all know if a natural birth is the cure!!


I have an appointment with the midwife in January so am going to ask a million questions and hopefully get referred to a specialist. If I find anything out that can help us all I'll update you

Hi little miss I don't think Doctors should tell you that you will tare, they don't know that. I used olive oil during my pregnancies as a lube and I generally used it when I thought to rub it in. My Nana actually told me to do it and I have had four babies and no tares !! My vulva specialist told me to use it as a lube and it works really well.

I have heard so many success stories regarding birth helping with vulvodynia.

So think positive and enjoy your pregnancy, its such an amazing time of life.

Best Wishes
Zarli

Hi zarli.

Olive oil? Not heard of that one before! I was contimplating using ky jelly if I have a birth in bed but hoping to have a water birth.

Did birth cure your vulvodynia??

My vulvodynia was diagnosed after my last baby was born, looking back I had symptoms of vulvodynia since I was 13 or so, although full blown Vulvodynia came into my life with a vengeance after I had my children.

Good luck

Thank you for your replies. No I haven't yet tried to get pregnant. Unfortunately having another relapse with depression and ending up in hospital made me realise I have to sort my head out first. I am in intensive therapy and so hoping I can beat my mood disorder.

I suffer from the same! I hope you get things rolling better for you soon!

Sebby (Admin) wrote:Thank you for your replies. No I haven't yet tried to get pregnant. Unfortunately having another relapse with depression and ending up in hospital made me realise I have to sort my head out first. I am in intensive therapy and so hoping I can beat my mood disorder.

Awww Sebby! I hope you are doing better now with the therapy, depression is such hell. But you are strong and you can make it through, I believe in you! I've gotten through to the other side after years of moderate to severe depression, and I'm here to talk if you ever need someone.