Thoughts on pregnancy?

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to know if anyone has been pregnant with this condition?

I am literally the only person in my age group I associate with that has not had a child. I had to go to a baby shower and it was really hard to hold it together when being bombarded "Oh when are you having kids/Why havn't you had kids?" questions. And having to lie about it by saying I have no interest in it. I just wish the topic would go away. My husband has been talking about it more and more, which hurts a lot. I have been asked by people so so so many times it is starting to really get to me.

I have hormone problems which at this point I have no idea if and how they are going to get treated, all of which basically cut my chances of getting pregnant in half. Add this ridiculous non-provoked itching and burning on a daily basis and my chances of falling pregnant are basically down to 1%.

This V shit is so unbearable I can not even imagine how much worse it would be if my issue is nerve related and there is a baby adding extra pressure to the area. And my skin seems to be quite fragile downstairs too as it is [I have torn during sex and have inflammation] so I hate to think what further damage pushing a baby out would do. Not to mention the stress of looking after a child while in such chronic pain every day. And the chance of my husband leaving me eventually because of this condition.

So yeah....adding up the above info I think a child is not an option for me as long as this shit is hanging around.

It really pisses me off how doctors say "Oh but the pain is worth the end result"...no it isn't because having to live with this and raise a child would be even more stress 24/7!!! I know I would not be able to handle it...I am fighting a serious nervous breakdown every single day as it is without a child involved. I have contemplated suicide. Who would want someone with these issues as a parent? what sort of crazy person would see anyone in my position fit to be a parent?

I see unfit drop-kicks who do not deserve children and it pisses me off that their is nothing wrong with them, yet here I am, i have been a "good girl" all my life, never done drugs, never smoked, never slept around yet I'm the one who is plagued with this.

I need some advice...it is driving me insane thinking about it. To try and speak about it to someone makes me feel like a failure and it embarrasses me.

I'm so sorry you feel so sadly about having children, and the fact you feel like you cannot speak about it with people who care for you. Saying that, I do think you need to confide in your husband and tell him how you really feel, having had this condition in the past I found talking to my boyfriend so much better it relieved a lot of stress in my head, and didn't stress me out as much.
I think the first step for you would be talking to your husband about your feelings, and then depending on how that goes then see a doctor about hormone therapy or treatment. You can't have a child if you feel like it would make you even worse than you already are now and if that's how you feel nobody can try and change your mind on that, and slthlugh you have constant burning and irritation down there sex isn't the only way to get pregnant, there's inseminstion and all sorts now.
I got pregnant in May 2014 I was 2 months pregnant and then later lost the baby but I can honestly say my vulvodynia had never been the same since falling pregnant. The constant burning had almost stopped whilst I was pregnant due to the high amount of hormones and after loosing the baby my vulvodynia HAD NOT been as worse as it once was. Not long after that I had the surgery, but that's another story.

You not wanting to talk about your problems isn't going to make them go away, your a strong person for having to deal with this every day- just don't do it alone when you have a husband who loves you.

Hi,

I don't think I can offer you any advice, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in feeling as you do if that helps at all. I'm in a similar situation, approaching my late 30s, childless and not physically able to have marital relations due to burning vulval and urethral pain and very tight pelvic floor muscles.

The majority of my friends and relatives my age have got kids - several in some cases. I've got to the point where I can't bear to hear about anyone else getting pregnant. I try to shut myself off from it all by not looking at Facebook etc and I even try to avoid socialising with certain people, especially those that are of what I call the "gloating/bragging parent" kind. Because I have pain elsewhere in my body which people know about I've not been asked the dreaded 'are you thinking of having kids?' (and variations on that) for some time. But I know I'd go to pieces if someone was to ask me. Personally, I think it's downright rude for people to ask that question of anyone.

I also get really annoyed when I see or hear on the news of unfit parents. I've also led a really sensible life and I actually now regret the fact that my husband and I were sensible and didn't even consider a pregnancy until we were married with our own home.
Anyway, I know that's not really any advice, but I hope you can manage to talk about the problem with someone either a professional or your husband as I think it can be helpful to talk it through even if you get upset it can be a release of pent up emotions.