Helping My Partner Cope

I have had vuvlodynia for five years and went into remission with it for two. Unfortunately three months in to dating a guy I fell in love with, my symptoms came back and I now have pudendal neuralgia. Is there any tips or advice on helping him cope through this? He is always there for me and supports me but it is taking a toll on him. I can't go out and do things like I use to, our love life suffers, and he feels guilty for feeling disappointed. How can I help him cope and not feel guilty, at fault, or alone. He has tried to find ways to cope but to no avail. I tell him all the time that it's ok to feel upset about it and sad. That I don't hold me against it. It affects him just as much as me. I just want to help him so our relationship can thrive. Any ideas?
Thanks!!

Good communication is really important. If you can both be 100% open with each other and talk through worries, frustrations etc then that's a form of intimacy in itself. Not the most fun kind, obviously, but it does help to strengthen a relationship.

Finding things that you can still do together - if you don't feel well enough to go out then think of some things you can do to spend quality time together at home. Or is there a way you can make going out and about more manageable - like getting a good cushion if sitting is an issue or making other adaptations.

If you're researching possible treatment options that you've not yet tried then include him, show him articles you read etc.

When it comes to physical intimacy, it can be easy to cut it out completely so as not to raise expectations, but I think it's important to continue to share physical affection by any means that does not cause pain. By making sure he knows exactly what you can and can't do right now before getting into that situation you can remove any pressure to 'go that bit further' when caught up in the moment.

This condition, by its very nature, does take more of a toll on romantic partners than some other chronic conditions. Which is not to say that, for example, severe back pain or a heart condition cannot cause equal disruption to one's love life and socialising opportunities, but at least other conditions are easier to talk about with friends and family.

Good luck