I GOT THE SURGERY!!

I have been struggling with this for almost a year and a half now. I have finally found a fantastic doctor who specializes in this condition. I have tried the Lidocaine, estrogen, steroids etc. Ashzer0921, I was just prescribed the ametriptoline but she has me on a specific dosage. I start at 10mg for a week then keep increasing by 10mg each week but not to exceed 100mg per day. So hopefully it works. I have officially had it. I can't even use a tampon, the pain is so bad. I also start physical therapy next week to help with the muscle spasms. To be honest though, I don't think the meds are going to work and I think I am surgery bound. Melonhead, when I heard about the surgery, I was so scared that I would be deformed down there. I was feeling so sorry for myself that my only option to fix this was to disfigure myself. But your post saying that it wasn't a bad difference made me feel so much better!

I was afraid of it too but knowing that it would probably help and that it was my last resort I had to be positive. I do not look deformed at all and I think it looks better now than it did before. I was afraid for my boyfriend to see but he said he likes how it looks too. I went to all of my appointments by myself because I wanted to prove that I could do it alone but I wish that I had someone there for a few of them. My mom came with me for my pre-op and I was glad she was there. I kept persevering and found a specialist. He turned my life around and the important part was that he was proactive. The medicine didn't work for me and I was torn. I was scared to hear that I needed surgery and too embarrassed to tell anyone even my parents. But it turns out that it was one of the best decisions of my life. My boyfriend and I were able to have sex this morning for 30 minutes. So much better than the 3 minutes before haha. Just keep trying and not losing hope or faith. There is always a solution

For me, the medicine(im not even going to try to spell it) and it works. it took 2 weeks to take a full affect. I works really well for the pain. But that is just my body so it could be different for you. I heard the surgery worked well for MelonHead. I suppose it just depends on the girls body.....Hope the medicine works well for you! :}

Hi Melonhead (and others):

Just joined this chat group and I have to say I'm so surprised to find so many people talking about the same thing. I had no idea until I started doing more research in the past week that people actually shared my same issue.

A little background: I have been dealing with the same two vaginal fissures for nearly 10 years - one interior measures 4mm the other is exterior at 6 o'clock and measures 2mm. That's right TEN years of it and while mm aren't that "big" these sorts of tears are considered to be large. Every time I have intercourse, they open up again. After a few days, they "scar" and "heal" only to be opened up again. Well, that's not as bad as some of the pain that some people describe, but it's definitely enough to really affect a person. The bleeding, pain, and not to mention the buzzkill it is on your sex life (thankfully, still happily married to the same person I was to when this all began).

So, I've endured all these years and have been to many doctors with varied recommendations: "just let it heal"; Estrace cream; lidocaine; "it may just be that way..." - my personal favorite!

Recently, I moved to a new area and found this amazing doctor who specializes in vulvar pain. I have been to see her twice and am now trying a "last ditch" conservative treatment of 6 weeks of Diflucan. She doesn't think it will solve my problem, but it's a last resort as her only other recommendation is a partial vestibulectomy. I'm very afraid to go through with it for a variety of reasons, but mainly because I can't imagine what it would be like. I've had surgery before, so that's not a problem. I'm just worried about the results, the post-surgery issues, etc. And I'm a very active person and to be told I have to give that up for 6-8 weeks (even though that's not long) is sooo difficult to hear. Exercise keeps me sane!

Any helpful hints on post-surgery issues, how to deal with it, and what to keep in mind would be helpful. Thanks for reading my story!

Melonhead, i'm very glad to hear you are getting better! I just had surgery 2 weeks ago so I still can't really tell if it worked. I've been suffering for about 4 years and tried many different treatments. Since my pain was very localized and only provoked, the doctor said i would be a good candidate for surgery, so I decided to go for it.
The surgery itself was ok, I didn't even have to stay overnight in the hospital so that was good. The first couple of days I was just laying in bed all day and icing all the time. I would only get up to go to the bathroom. I had some light bleeding for the first full week, then some light yellowish fuild-like discharge after that for a few days but it's almost gone. I think the worst part was the pain killers, I took hydrocone with acetaminophen and it made me nauseous all the time, I just finished it yesterday so I'm better now.
Day 4 was when I started to walk a little but only moved from bed to couch, couch to bed.. On day 6 I went out for a couple of hours to support my friend in a beauty pageant, I had to sit kind of sideways and it made me a little sore the next day but not too bed. I stayed home most of the time for the next few days, just resting. Then went to work on day 11. I'm a waitress at a club so standing in heels wasn't very comfortable. It was slow so they let me go home after 2 hours so that was great.. next day i stayed home because i wanted to be ok to work the following night. I worked on day 13 and it was ok, i didn't wear heels so that made it much easier, I was just a little sore the next day but no big deal. Today is day 15 and I'm doing fine. Still feel some pain from the stitches sometimes but nothing too bad. Tomorrow I will call to make my follow-up appointment for the end of this week or beginning of next week.. hopefully everything is going well..

I need some advice. This is my first time on a Vulvodynia Support Group. I got married 9 months ago and hadn't had sex until marriage. I couldn't have sex. It was painful, burning, aching, EVERY pain possible. After seeing my doctor many times, she diagnosed me with Vulvodynia. I tried the cream, steroids, and everything. I am now wanting surgery. I feel so completely alone in this and feel like the only person who can't have sex with their husband. It's rather embarrassing when all of your friends talk about it and you're sitting there in the corner thinking, "One day..I"ll be able to have sex." I have talked to numerous doctors today and came home and just sobbed. Because I can't figure out a solution to this. Have you had surgery? Was it effective? And how is the recovery? Thank you so much for all of your time...

I wish I could help with your questions about surgery...but all I can say is I understand that feeling with friends. I go through it every time the conversation comes up. Someone talks about how great the sex was, and then someone else, and by the end I'm feeling worthless, depressed and so sad. The phrase "One day..." can't even make me feel better, because I don't even believe it to be true. But all I guess I can say is that you're not alone, and if that helps that someone understands, then I'm glad I could help. But girl...i FEEL you

now how you feel, i've had this for 4 years and i hate when my friends talk about sex! I've been in a relationship for five years with a wonderful man who has gone through this patiently.. But if my surgery doesnt work, i dont know if he will stay with me.. But i dont want to think about this as i believe it will work. I had it a little over 2 weeks ago so i cant tell yet but im pretty optimistic.. My pain was only upon touch and very localized so i dont see why it wouldn't work. I think if you have tried other things with no success, as long as your pain is localized and preferably provoked only, then go for it!

Cami90 wrote:now how you feel, i've had this for 4 years and i hate when my friends talk about sex! I've been in a relationship for five years with a wonderful man who has gone through this patiently.. But if my surgery doesnt work, i dont know if he will stay with me.. But i dont want to think about this as i believe it will work. I had it a little over 2 weeks ago so i cant tell yet but im pretty optimistic.. My pain was only upon touch and very localized so i dont see why it wouldn't work. I think if you have tried other things with no success, as long as your pain is localized and preferably provoked only, then go for it!

I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. But if your surgery doesn't work and your man DOESN'T stay with you, you deserve much better anyway. Sex is such a big part of relationships, but it ISN'T everything. And through true love, he will wait until you get it figured out. I have tried everything and am waiting to see if I should get surgery on my doc appointment Thursday. IT WILL get better. Don't give up.

tandaschroeder wrote:

Cami90 wrote:now how you feel, i've had this for 4 years and i hate when my friends talk about sex! I've been in a relationship for five years with a wonderful man who has gone through this patiently.. But if my surgery doesnt work, i dont know if he will stay with me.. But i dont want to think about this as i believe it will work. I had it a little over 2 weeks ago so i cant tell yet but im pretty optimistic.. My pain was only upon touch and very localized so i dont see why it wouldn't work. I think if you have tried other things with no success, as long as your pain is localized and preferably provoked only, then go for it!

I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. But if your surgery doesn't work and your man DOESN'T stay with you, you deserve much better anyway. Sex is such a big part of relationships, but it ISN'T everything. And through true love, he will wait until you get it figured out. I have tried everything and am waiting to see if I should get surgery on my doc appointment Thursday. IT WILL get better. Don't give up.

Well he always says he will be with me no matter what, and he has done it so far.. we've been together for 5 years, and going through this for the last 4 so he's definitely doing his part, he's the first one to remind me that sex isn't everything and we actually have a great relationship. But trying to think like a man, I don't know how I would deal with this if I was him.. it's easier to just go with it when you know there's still the option of surgery, but if that didn't work than it would probably be hard for him to have any hope.. but I don't even want to think about this option, as so far my healing is going very well and I really believe it will work