Lifelong sufferer and new member -- need advice/support

Hello everybody,
I've never written in a forum like this before, so I'm not quite sure how this goes. I guess I'll start with my background so that I can reach out to anyone who's like me and has found relief.
I have localized pain that only happens when it's provoked by some kind of penetration, whether it be a finger, penis or a tampon. My clitoris only feels pain when it's touched directly, as long as just the hood is stroked I'm fine. Semen also leaves me with a severe stinging sensation, but I've heard that this is relatively normal. My vagina has been this way for as long as I can remember. I started having sex with men when I was fifteen and continued to do so for about three years until I admitted the pain to myself and to my female partner at the time. I thought that I was normal and that that was the reason why women screamed in porn/movies. I thought I was feeling the intensity in a normal way because I never talked about it.
Since then, I've been very honest with my sexual partners who have, thankfully, been very understanding and patient. I wish I could find the right word to describe the emotional and mental pain that go along with this condition. Penetration always hurts at the beginning, but sometimes it can almost completely go away if I'm wet enough and I have orgasms regularly, but the mental stress is always there no matter what. I long to be close to my partners, but sex just makes me sick to my stomach at this point. I feel very anxious, depressed, frustrated and scared after (and sometimes during) intercourse, whether it be with a man or a woman. I cry after sex regularly, and have had to throw up on multiple occasions. I feel totally isolated and lonely even when I'm with someone who is very loving and supportive. Everyone on this forum seems really upbeat and humorous, so I'm sorry for being such a drag, but I just don't know what to do anymore.
I've tried talking to a counselor at school (I'm a college student in Wisconsin) but it didn't do much good. After three sessions of me talking about this chronic problem, he suggested that I "might just be too small." My gynecologist gave me lidocaine, but it just stung terribly and numbed me to a pointless extent. I was just wondering if therapy has worked for anyone who feels the same as me, and if there is such a thing as vulvadynia specialists. Or if someone knows any holistic remedies that work to lessen pain. I don't really like the idea of numbing medication, but I'm probably just being too picky.
Thanks for reading this, I would really appreciate any feedback.

Hi huigensa

I know exactly how you feel, gone through a similar thing. If you haven't seen a physiotherapist I would really recommend doing that. Only go to a physio who specialises in pelvic floor disorders, pain disorders if possible - google search for one in your area. I have also tried Chiro which has helped a small amount with nerve sensitivity as I don't want to take pain/nerve tablets for that.

Take care xoxox