How to support vulvodynia sufferer in a relationship

Hi ~ I am dating a wonderful woman (~10 mos.) who suffers from vulvodynia, and I am learning how hard and how challenging life can be (ice packs, medication, frustration with doctors, mistrust). Our communication surrounding our physical relationship is strong; that she feels safe with me and trusts that I will never do anything to hurt her. However, there have been times where she has been in incredible pain and I don't know how to best support her verbally. I keep ice packs in my freezer and tylenol on hand, we eat a special diet, and I will drop everything for her if she needs me, but I still don't say the right things. I am looking for advice on what I can say and/or how I can show that I care, without giving the impression that I know what she is going through or am minimizing her suffering. Any advice?

It sounds like you are already supporting her to the fullest. Whenever a friend or a lover is depressed about something it is really hard to know what to say or do. I think the best thing is to always just listen to them, rather than trying to say something. Unfortunatley, it's easy to say the wrong thing.

The best thing my friend said to me was: "I can't imagine what it's like to have this problem so I don't know what to say to you to make you feel better, but if you ever need to talk I will listen."