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» 7 months since the diagnosis
Pressure to have sex. EmptyWed Aug 14, 2019 2:38 am by agtoronto

» Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams
Pressure to have sex. EmptySat Jun 15, 2019 5:22 pm by mary jane

» IMPORTANT FOR UK SUFFERERS
Pressure to have sex. EmptySat Jun 15, 2019 5:21 pm by mary jane

» Help New Diagnosis
Pressure to have sex. EmptySat Jun 15, 2019 5:07 pm by mary jane

» 6 days post Vestibulectomy - Is this normal?? please tell me about your postop healing process!
Pressure to have sex. EmptyTue Jun 11, 2019 12:56 am by VVSSufferer

» Vestibulectomy next week in London!! - questions!!
Pressure to have sex. EmptyWed Apr 24, 2019 8:32 pm by HedvigB

» Dating with Vulvodynia and Vaginismus advice
Pressure to have sex. EmptyFri Apr 19, 2019 10:25 pm by Tartufo

» Research Participants Needed!
Pressure to have sex. EmptyThu Apr 11, 2019 2:09 pm by PelvicPainProject

» Does anyone else have Endometriosis?
Pressure to have sex. EmptyMon Apr 08, 2019 7:54 am by Jo44

Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams

Thu May 10, 2018 9:43 am by Rosie21

Hi I have been suffering for some years with this abominable pain. I have tried most of the systemic drugs , I asked specialists and Doctors if I could at least try a topical treatment but because this requires a special prescription have been refused Has anybody had a chance of trying these? Thank you I will try to put a link on to some of the research into Gabapentin Gel. Thanks.

Comments: 2

Putnams 'bony parts' cushion or Putnams 'Dr Huff' cushion - which is best?

Sat Aug 01, 2015 4:17 pm by Fielder

Hi everyone,

I'm a newbie.  I live in the UK.  

I'm trying to work out the best cushion to get for my vulvodynia.  I suspect that I could have pudendal nerve involvement (the aching and burning pain is from vagina to clitoris) and I have rectocele and some tailbone pain too.

I have seen some good reports on older threads regarding the Putnams pressure relief cushions....with some ladies …

Comments: 11

An absolute success story- please read!

Fri Mar 08, 2019 10:57 pm by Persevere1990

Dear All,

I posted on here back in March 2017 having just got a diagnosis of vulvodynia after a few months of relentless and acute pain. I was desperate, I was hurting, I was scared I would never know life without pain there again.

I tried creams, acupuncture, numbing gels, frozen pads, baths with various internet recommended concoctions- convinced myself I had lichen sclerosus, herpes, thrush- …

Comments: 0

I'm sorry im rambling

Thu Feb 21, 2019 5:49 am by Jet227

hey, im 19, ive been struggling with this almost a year. The first week I became itchy I went in to check about a yeast infection another week later. I have been to 10 different doctors a total of about 15 appointments for this problem for the past 11 months. I have been tested for everything including having a biopsy. I was first told basically to just go home and use hydrocortazone, then I went …

Comments: 1

New member need advice please

Thu Feb 28, 2019 11:33 pm by PANDORA123

Hello, I have just been diagnosed with unprovoked vulvodynia. Im really scared and worried. It burns a lot and it hurts to sit down. I have been prescribed amitriptyle 10mg. Can anyone give me some hope that I can get better from this condition. Feeling low and depressed.

Thanks

Comments: 5

MonaLisa Touch

Fri Feb 08, 2019 7:35 pm by rl2091

Hi All,

I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with the MonaLisa Touch treatment for Vulvodynia? My pain started when I went on HRT(pill) for anxiety mainly and my pain abruntly stopped when I stopped HRT. However, when I started on the HRT patch (at my dr's suggestion), the pain returned and has never left. That was 7 years ago. I found MonaLisa Touch on the internet purely by accident …

Comments: 3

Diagnosed Recently

Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:55 pm by flissyg

Hi All,

I’m so glad I’ve found a place where there are others who understand how I feel!

So this is my story:-

I’m 36,  and 4 months ago, whilst innocently sitting in bed reading I experienced a very sharp stabbing pain in my clitoris. It last only a few minutes and then subsided as quickly as it came on. It put it down to “one of those things”.  The following morning I woke up …

Comments: 4

New and need advice and help

Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:26 pm by Cin124

Hi everyone,

About three months ago, I started having vaginal and vulval itching. Then, about two months ago, my vulva started to feel painful and look swollen, so I went to the doctor. I was tested for herpes, chlamydia, and gonorrhea which all came back negative. I also had to do a vaginal swab test and the only thing that came back positive was yeast infection. I was prescribed hydrozole …

Comments: 6

New here would very much appreciate advice at the end of my rope

Wed Jan 09, 2019 9:09 pm by Jma990o

This might be a little long but it's been such a long time I've even been able to talk about my problems openly thank you in advance for any helpful advice.
So ok I'm 24 I've been having this problem for over two years seen quite a few doctors and obgyns alike and nobody will take me seriously I have had a few utis and yeast infections and even bv once and this all started after one of the utis …

Comments: 3


Pressure to have sex.

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Pressure to have sex. Empty Pressure to have sex.

Post  alexvulvo on Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:36 am

Hi everyone,

I'm new on here but so glad to have found this forum. I've had vulvodynia since I was 17 (I'm 26 now), and I've gone through the regular ups and downs, culminating in two of the best treatments or aids I've had - a vestibulectomy and post operation physical therapy with a wand.

My issue is that I've grown to associate sex with pain, and it's just not something I'm very interested in most of the time. My partner and I have seen a mindfulness sex therapist that encouraged me to live in the moment and that way, to invigorate a mood for sex. It's worked periodically, but for the most part it hasn't.

My partner was a virgin before he met me (he was heavily involved in church), and it seems that this inexperience coupled with my distaste for sex is undoing an otherwise happy relationship. I feel pressured to have sex when I don't want to. My partner seems to feel truly loved only when we sleep together. We aren't having very frequent sex at all, but he often rubs against me, makes sexual comments even after I've expressed pain earlier that day (having 'a bad day' as I call it), and yesterday he saw a woman on my Instagram feed and asked me 'Who is THAT?' in a very sexual way that threw me off completely. It was like he had forgotten he was with me and not one of his guy friends.

I was so shocked I didn't really say anything again, but I know he meant it the way I took it because he's since been overly loving, and even asked if he could help me with physical therapy. He's also become More vocal about other women's beauty, and he keeps sighing really heavily when people have sex in a movie we're watching, for example.

I'm scared that he doesn't know what he's doing is wrong. I can tell him but my opinion isn't altogether trusted because I've got something against sex. Then again, I feel like I'm going crazy for being upset and that it's not fair for me to complain. I just feel pressured and sad, and disappointed. Am I wrong to feel this way? I'm just so tired of sex having this negative role in my life. Will it ever stop? Do any of you have partners that don't do this? Or have any of you overcome these challenges?

Please help if you can.

alexvulvo

Posts : 1
Join date : 2017-02-25

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Post  Kezz on Thu Nov 02, 2017 10:59 pm

Hey hun, sorry you didn't get any replies to this sooner. I hope you're doing okay. Your boyfriend may not realise how unhelpful it is to sigh when sex scenes come on etc. Those little things can be very hurtful. I hope your situation has since improved? Xx

Kezz

Posts : 24
Join date : 2017-03-28
Location : London, England

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Post  aspaceodyssey on Fri Jan 19, 2018 4:30 pm

alexvulvo, not sure if you still check the forum but just in case, wanted to extend my deepest sympathy for what you're going through. I've been there, down to having to hear sighing during sex scenes, and know the lonely painful feeling very well. I hope you are ok and have found some resolution through this situation. be gentle with yourself and don't do anything that hurts you or that you don't want to do, ever. I know it's easier said than done sometimes when you are under this pressure, and I hope that has let up. do you have a therapist or anyone you feel comfortable and safe opening up to and sharing this with? if not, I would encourage you to pursue that. I know it's difficult but you need and deserve that support. also, know that this can and will get better. I was in very much the same place and thought I would never enjoy sex or have a normal relationship, but even after dealing with this for most of my life (primary vulvodynia here), things turned around really quickly once I found the right treatment and a little added therapy/self-love and self-care to undo the years of trauma. I can barely even remember now what it felt like to be going through the worst of this, and I know the same will happen for you.

feel free to pm me anytime. hope you are doing well <3 hang in there!

aspaceodyssey

Posts : 30
Join date : 2013-12-09

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Pressure to have sex. Empty I can so relate!

Post  Sad on Sun Apr 15, 2018 2:00 am

I have been dealing with this off and on for seems like 20 years. It has caused me to have really negative thoughts and attitude about sex. It's to the point that I hate it. I've tried to like it for my husband's sake, but I absolutely cringe when it is "date night". He has been patient and kind, but trying other non vaginal sex has not worked for either of us and I am to the point that I would rather deal with the pain than trying other things just to get it over with. He can't understand why it is so problematic for me to try other things, but honestly it all just puts me off. He thinks I should want to make him feel good even if I can't.
I feel terrible that I want no part of it. It's such a big guilt trip, I constantly berate myself. I feel as though I can't escape it. Everything is so sex related in our society.
He thinks we should get counseling but that is not an option in my mind. We know several couples that went for sex counseling and it ended in divorce every time. I can't do it. I can't talk to a complete stranger about such an intimate subject. I know myself, I would completely shut down. We went to a marriage retreat a few years back that was totally about sex and it shut me down in the first 5 minutes. This kind of thing does not open me up to the conversation, it does just the opposite.
I am at my wit's end. I hate myself, the pain is unrelenting. If we have sex I hurt for 2 to 3 days after. So, we try to have sex only once a week, but that means for half the week I'm hurting. How long can you live like that, hurting for half of every week?
I don't know what to do. I've tried physical therapy, I've tried numbing shots. I'm skeptical of surgery because I've heard stories from people that say it was worse after surgery and I can't do worse, it's bad enough as it is. I'm just done.  Sad
Sad
Sad

Posts : 6
Join date : 2018-02-18
Age : 62

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