Girlfriend has vulvodynia, please help!

I've been with my girlfriend for the last two years and I was her first (she was a virgin). She is 24 now and within the last year or so she said when we had sex it burned intensely but from the first time of having sex it burned just not as badly, so we tried different condoms because she said her sister was allergic to latex so she figured she was too. So I bought polypropelene condoms and for a little while those worked but then a couple of months later she kept saying it still burned. Then I tried polyisoprene condoms, same result. She is a bigger girl and has quite a few health problems but recently it seems that when I try to go into her it feels different, like it's much tighter and it takes so much work to get it in and she used to be super wet but now she is super dry and doesn't want to do anything. I could see the look on her face and she was in so much pain so I stopped, this is all so new and confusing for both of us. She isn't on any kind of insurance and can't afford surgery but is there anything I can do to help her so we can work this out? I've read a lot of things on this forum and online about this disease and it's just awful and so painful, I want so much to help her through this and support her but I don't know how to start. She has the UTIs and brown discharge, she thought she had a yeast infection but I don't know. What advice can you guys give me on this? We've stopped being intimate altogether and it's killing our relationship, what can I do?

BTW, what do you all think about Dr. Glazer's Vulvodynia Survival Guide?

Sounds to me like the initial pain from the condom allergy set up clenching in the pelvic floor. She needs to see a Women's Health Physio, I don't know where you are in the world but they have them on the NHS here in the UK. No sex while her muscles are tight and it can take a few months to see a difference but if you're finding it hard to penetrate her she definitely does have tight muscles. The dryness is a factor in vulvar pain and I suspect the pain she's expecting is interfering with her body's natural responses.

I don't recommend that book no because it's mostly statistics but I do recommend "When Sex Hurts" by Andrew Goldstein to explain it all better and list all the known causes or "Heal Pelvic Pain" by Amy Stein to explain some self help techniques for the muscles.

Thanks for the reply sarah, I am located in southern U.S. (Arkansas). I'm trying to get all the info that I can to help her, she was just saying last night that it seems to hurt more when we use the condoms as opposed to without, she seems to prefer without but she says it still hurts. I will see if I can pick up a copy of one of those books, are there any creams or ointments or household items I could use to help her with the burning and to help her relax? Also, she thought she had a yeast infection so we tried the 3 day treatment and she said it burned when she would pee. I heard that ph balance and acids in the body might play a role in this, should I maybe pick up a bottle of calcium citrate to help with that?

Oh and I have been reading that gabapentin seems to help with some of the irritation/burning from some women on here. Provided that it's safe, where can I order this online without a prescription? Would this be a good idea or am I getting too ahead of myself?

The best thing you can do for her right now is not to try to have penetrative sex. Do other things and let her heal. If she's anything like the rest of us here- she's probably feeling awful about the whole thing- physically and mentally. By taking the pressure off of her, she can concentrate on getting well without feeling badly about not being able to please you. It's great that you are taking an interest in her health and well-being and posting on this site. Wishing you and your gf the best!!

Thank you for the kind words, I really am trying to understand this because it is so dibilitating and she already has a lot of other health problems. She has polycystic ovarian syndrome and ptsd, but it's hard to deal with them because she has no money or health insurance so a specialist is out of the question for now. I've thought about buying her some dilators and seeing if that helps her at all, it's almost like this illness is similar to fibromyalgia. Do you suppose maybe if we avoided penetration altogether for awhile that there is a possibility it will heal on it's own?