They just don't understand

I have an awesome boyfriend who is the only person I have ever been with who can make me feel pleasure. He tries to find ways to touch me so that it doesn't hurt and I can enjoy intimacy. I am so appreciative of that. But what he doesn't understand is why I break down in tears every time I have to tell him no or stop in the middle of trying to have intercourse because of the pain. The tears have nothing to do with the pain, they are solely tied to my guilt and embarrassment that I can't be normal. It frustrates him because he doesn't think that the bedroom should be a place of sadness or anger... But I can't help it. I can't help but feel like I'm damaged and less of a woman because I can't do the basic things that I should be able to. He doesn't understand that the mental pain of this can be just as bad as the physical. He doesn't understand that just because it doesn't bother him, doesn't mean that it doesn't bother me. I hate that I can't satisfy him. I hate that most nights we just go to sleep. I'm 24 years old...this should be peak time for me and I don't ever want to do anything. I can't even get enjoyment out of kissing because I'm anxious about where it will lead and how bad it will hurt. I am so happy that he is understanding about not being able to have sex. I just wish he would understand that sometimes I need to cry about it and feel like awful and I just need him to tell me it's okay.

Yeah, I think the emotional damage that this condition does is far worse than the actual physical pain I don't know what I advice I can offer except try to keep the lines of communication open and maybe (if you are not already) try to talk about it with him outside of the bedroom environment i.e. not in the 'heat of the moment'. Would your doctor maybe be able to refer you for some kind of counselling/psychotherapy where you could talk about the psychological side of things with a professional?