Log in

I forgot my password

Latest topics
» What's next?
Today at 10:07 am by amyhp

» HELP!! Topical cream?
Mon Apr 16, 2018 5:49 pm by Sad

» Please tell me this can get better
Sun Apr 15, 2018 11:31 am by amf329

» Pressure to have sex.
Sun Apr 15, 2018 2:00 am by Sad

» Vulvodynia and other neurological diseases?
Sat Apr 14, 2018 8:00 pm by wuhujen

» I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?
Sat Apr 14, 2018 7:57 pm by wuhujen

» I wanted to share a resource that has made a huge difference for me
Wed Apr 11, 2018 9:28 pm by amf329

» Loneliness
Wed Apr 11, 2018 11:36 am by sophiarp

» I cured myself 100% of vulvodynia twenty years ago--I hope this helps someone
Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:06 am by Warrior2010

I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?

Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:17 pm by Tunes25

Hello!

I am a 25 year old woman and wanted to share my story here as I feel frustrated by the suggestions of my gyno and am hoping for some advice.

To give the context for this: in September 2016 I moved in with my long term boyfriend after living abroad a year and (nearly) abstaining from sex. Within a few weeks I had got a yeast infection which I treated myself successfully, but then 2 weeks …

Comments: 4

I cured myself 100% of vulvodynia twenty years ago--I hope this helps someone

Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:33 pm by totallycured

Hi,

Every so often I'm reminded of the constant, persistent, horrible pain I was in two decades ago, and I reach out to try to help others who are suffering. If someone had offered me a solution during that terrible time, I'd have jumped at it. I hope this helps someone.

Yes, I did have terrible vulvodynia. It felt like someone poured acid all over my vulva. My doctor confirmed it and was …

Comments: 3

Hi Im from Australia :)

Sat Jan 08, 2011 1:08 am by emma

Hi girls... I live in Australia.
I am currently undergoing a new treatment for vulvodynia. Just wondering if anyone else here has tried it. It's Endep in the form of cream to apply directly on the area. I dont know if anyone else has tried this but so far evidently it has had a 50% success rate.
Anyway i feel at a loss. This new treatment is exciting but at the same time i just dont feel like …

Comments: 35

Somebody please help me...

Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:05 am by Andlag

Hey everyone,

since I started being sexually active i often experienced burning in my vagina which was often worse during sex /around the time of my period or when using lubricants. I was never able to use tampons because the one time i tried putting them in it felt like acid was poured on my skin. Fast forward to 2 months ago when I got a UTI and an allergic reaction in my vagina. I thought it …

Comments: 14

Lidocaine with condoms?

Wed Mar 21, 2018 10:44 pm by AEM1

Hi everyone! My doctor just prescribed me a topical lidocaine to administer before sex, but I forgot to ask if it is okay to use with condoms. Has anyone else used this before and know it is safe to use with condoms? Thanks! Very Happy
Unrelated, but I just started Lyrica a few weeks ago...no changes yet, but I'm hopeful something will come out of it. 3 years with vulvodynia and unable to have sex …

Comments: 1

Constant pain, I want to die.

Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:29 am by Meggiemay

I posted on here a few years ago but my symptoms went away with the inflammation. I didn't get so lucky this time.

For over three months, i've had terrible rawness, burning, soreness in the urethral/vestibule area and pressure/hypersensitivity in the clitoral area. I've also had some lower abdominal pressure and burning on my butt. I can barely walk! My gyno hasn't been much help. I'm on …

Comments: 23

Recently Diagnosed which has motivated my research study

Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:54 pm by ebclose2free

Hi everyone,

My name is Eliza Barach and I was diagnosed with vulvodynia in October of 2017. I'm also PhD student at the State University of New York at Albany. I work several professors at SUNY, but one in particular, Dr. Mitch Earleywine researches marijuana and its possible efficacy as an alternative treatment. Our previous examined cannabis and symptoms of PMS/PMDD and found that women …

Comments: 0

MAY HAVE FOUND A CURE- PLEASE READ

Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:04 pm by infinitelywondering

Dear all,

Today has been the day I've been waiting for. The day something FINALLY makes sense.
I've been told countless times that I've got nerve damage or a muscular condition, yet none of the specific treatments have helped me. My GP suggested attacking this from a different angle so referred me to a dermatologist specialist


after having a vestibulectomy with no success, I decided to visit …

Comments: 3

New and desperate for advice

Sat Mar 03, 2018 2:37 pm by srbry

Hi everyone,

I'm new here and was told to find a support group because this is all getting a bit much really...

I lost my virginity when I was 18 and it hurt - that was normal. Loads of women had told me that it hurt so that was fine I didn't question that. I was with the same guy for a couple of months and each time after that it was uncomfortable and not great. I didn't tell him because I …

Comments: 3


How do men deal with it?

Go down

How do men deal with it?

Post  Male VVS sufferer on Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:45 am

Hi there,

I've read a few stories on this forum and thought I would share mine. Now this is from a male perspective (my wife has had VVS for at least the last 10 years) and it's got to the point where it's nearly torn us apart. To give you some background, my wife started having pain during sex about 12 years ago. She blames it on a night when we sat in a hot tub or spa for about 4-5 hours and drank ourselves silly. Then we decided to have sex that night. She relates that night directly to when she started having pain. Now I'm not sure if that would cause the VVS to become part of our lives, but it seems like it did. Anyway, she went to different doctors like a lot of women on this forum and got diagnosed with a yeast infection first up, then a while later once the pain didn't subside, she went to a specialist who then diagnosed her with Vaginismus. It wasn't until around 18 months ago that she went to see another specialist who diagnosed her with Vulva Vestibulitis. We now think that has has been diagnosed correctly.

So all through this I have tried to comfort her, be very understanding and help her deal with this. I've even helped her with some exercises she was asked to do, and I've done the q-tip test a number of times. But I have read a lot of entries from members of this forum saying they fell out of love with their partner and didn't desire them or think they could love their husband or BF the way they feel they should. And that is where we are. We have been married for 10 years, and just separated about 9 months ago. I just thought that she needed time to think about our relationship, and figure out what she wanted. But the concerning part for me was that she keeps telling me she doesn't feel the way she should about me, and that's not fair on me (her words). But I love her and want to help her in anyway I can, but it seems I have absolutely no control here, and that her mind is made up. I'm completely devastated about this and we're close to a divorce, which I definitely don't want.

I'm not sure whether I should be blaming this condition on our failed relationship or not? I need some help here because I have no idea what to do, and what she really feels. If her condition was to go away tomorrow, would she feel differently? I guess what I'm asking is for someone to explain: 1. Why has my wife decided she isn't in love with me anymore, if in fact VVS has contributed to her feelings? 2. What can I do to try to hold onto our relationship?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated as I'm lost right now, and need some perspective on where we are at.



Last edited by Male VVS sufferer on Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:03 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Just wanted to my name out of the conversation)

Male VVS sufferer

Posts : 1
Join date : 2012-01-15
Location : canada

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: How do men deal with it?

Post  Sarah001 on Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:55 pm

Hi Mick, I think you sound like a really caring guy who desperately wants his marriage to survive the hell that is VVS. From my point of view I think the condition affects us mentally and emotionally as much as physically. There may be a part of your wife who feels like she isn't a full woman and it isn't fair to hold onto you when you could be with someone else who can have sex, I'm sure alot of the ladies here in relationships feel that way. My partner went and found someone else after 6 months of my V problems and I know others here have had the same kind of treatment from their partners and husbands so your wife may also be thinking that's bound to happen anyway so why not just get it over with. The pain being in such a personal area of the body and such a key area to most relationships affects how we feel about any sort of closeness and we can easily switch off to any aspect of a relationship. I have a complete mental block regarding relationships and don't feel feminine or sexy anymore, a couple of guys have asked me out on dates and I turn them down without any further thought because I just think it's not going to work out so why bother and it would be easy to feel that way about an existing relationship too. I don't know if your wife still loves you, there may be other issues at work here too but I can see how closing off to any kind of closeness could translate to feeling like you don't love the other person anymore. Alot of us girls with V problems build a wall between us and men and stay firmly behind it.

I think counselling might be a good idea, a sex therapist could talk all this through with you both and perhaps find a way to move forwards together or even a marriage counsellor if your wife didn't fancy a sex therapist. As for your wife's problems I don't know what treatments she has tried already but perhaps there are some not yet tried that might help. Communication is vital and you do sound like you are not even putting the sexual difficulties at the top of the list which is fantastic, it's important your wife feels like there are other aspects that are more important than just the physical side of things. I think it's great that you're not even complaining on an anonymous forum about lack of sex, it shows you really do love your wife as a whole person and that's a huge thing when it comes to trying to work things out together. I hope it works out for you.
avatar
Sarah001

Posts : 1164
Join date : 2010-06-11
Age : 44
Location : UK

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum