Log in

I forgot my password

Latest topics
Constant pain, I want to die.

Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:29 am by Meggiemay

I posted on here a few years ago but my symptoms went away with the inflammation. I didn't get so lucky this time.

For over three months, i've had terrible rawness, burning, soreness in the urethral/vestibule area and pressure/hypersensitivity in the clitoral area. I've also had some lower abdominal pressure and burning on my butt. I can barely walk! My gyno hasn't been much help. I'm on …

Comments: 19

Clitoris Issues

Tue Apr 28, 2015 8:17 pm by January

I am going crazyyy trying to figure out what's wrong. Please does anyone else have an issue similar to mine? I'm only 22. So, basically when my clit is lightly rubbed, there is no feeling. However, when rubbed vigorously and directly, the burning and tingling sensations shoot down my legs and feet as if coming to the end of an orgasm but with no good feeling leading up. It's so strange. What …

Comments: 1

New member

Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:37 pm by Lisa1627

Hi ladies. I am new to the forum. I have had what I think is vulvodynia caused from hsv 2. So not only do I have the burning vag but the constant feeling of being contagious. I can honestly say that I hate my life and myself right now. There are days when I think I would rather be dead. I tried the amitryptline and it helped but if it's only making my brain think I don't have pain then it's …

Comments: 12

Post Full Vestibulectomy - 5 Years Later - Please Read

Tue May 02, 2017 6:18 pm by jen007

Hi All,

It's been awhile since I've written a new topic on the forum. Wondering if any of the same ladies are still here. I've come back to update you all on my post vestibulectomy results. I can't remember if I've done an update on my current state, so forgive me if this is repeated information... I can't remember how to view my old posts! Anyway, let me get on with my update.

For 4 years post …

Comments: 3

Recovered from Vulvodynia

Thu May 04, 2017 9:42 pm by chancesunny

Hey everyone,

Im a new member on this forum and wanted to share my story so I can help anyone who is feeling helpless. Maybe what worked for me can work for you. I'll try to make this short so you can go get better!

I had vulvodynia for about 3-4 years. In the beginning, it started with pain that I thought was just a yeast infection and then I thought it was a urinary tract infection or …

Comments: 2

New here, my story and looking for advice

Wed Apr 26, 2017 9:02 am by rachiecakes

Hi All!

I was really hoping to get some feedback from everyone here - it's very hard dealing with an issue like this because no one really understands what I'm going through!

Im 28 years old I've had interstitial cystitis for 3 years - but never an vaginal issues. About 6 months ago I got a yeast infection following a course of antibiotics - similarly I developed IC after a bad UTI. The itching …

Comments: 4

New w/ Secondary Provoked Vestibuldynia

Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:46 pm by Birdy

Hi everyone,

I'm here because I'm pretty sure I have secondary provoked vestibuldynia, even though my gyno is still "optimistic" it is not.  My problem started six months ago when I got my second UTI in as many months (after going 25 years of life without one) and then ended up with a bad yeast infection (also my first one ever) thanks to the antibiotics.  Ever since the yeast …

Comments: 2

Male visitor

Wed Jan 18, 2017 11:19 pm by outsider

Hello!

I am a 25 year old guy who has erectile dysfunction following an injury a few years ago. I am here because I think that men and women with sexual dysfunction could benefit from dating each other. My experience has been that women have lost interest when they found out that penetrative sex was not possible with me.
So I am interested in learning more about female sexual disorders. Do young …

Comments: 3

New Here: Question/My Story

Mon Apr 03, 2017 2:00 am by overit14

Hi everyone. I came across this site by Googling "vulvar pain support". I feel like my case is different than most I read about so I was wondering if anyone else here experiences this in the way that I do.

This started in 2012 and has happened off and on since. I get really, really red and it's very painful, swollen and burns. Sometimes it may be a little itchy, but mostly it just …

Comments: 6


How do men deal with it?

View previous topic View next topic Go down

How do men deal with it?

Post  Male VVS sufferer on Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:45 am

Hi there,

I've read a few stories on this forum and thought I would share mine. Now this is from a male perspective (my wife has had VVS for at least the last 10 years) and it's got to the point where it's nearly torn us apart. To give you some background, my wife started having pain during sex about 12 years ago. She blames it on a night when we sat in a hot tub or spa for about 4-5 hours and drank ourselves silly. Then we decided to have sex that night. She relates that night directly to when she started having pain. Now I'm not sure if that would cause the VVS to become part of our lives, but it seems like it did. Anyway, she went to different doctors like a lot of women on this forum and got diagnosed with a yeast infection first up, then a while later once the pain didn't subside, she went to a specialist who then diagnosed her with Vaginismus. It wasn't until around 18 months ago that she went to see another specialist who diagnosed her with Vulva Vestibulitis. We now think that has has been diagnosed correctly.

So all through this I have tried to comfort her, be very understanding and help her deal with this. I've even helped her with some exercises she was asked to do, and I've done the q-tip test a number of times. But I have read a lot of entries from members of this forum saying they fell out of love with their partner and didn't desire them or think they could love their husband or BF the way they feel they should. And that is where we are. We have been married for 10 years, and just separated about 9 months ago. I just thought that she needed time to think about our relationship, and figure out what she wanted. But the concerning part for me was that she keeps telling me she doesn't feel the way she should about me, and that's not fair on me (her words). But I love her and want to help her in anyway I can, but it seems I have absolutely no control here, and that her mind is made up. I'm completely devastated about this and we're close to a divorce, which I definitely don't want.

I'm not sure whether I should be blaming this condition on our failed relationship or not? I need some help here because I have no idea what to do, and what she really feels. If her condition was to go away tomorrow, would she feel differently? I guess what I'm asking is for someone to explain: 1. Why has my wife decided she isn't in love with me anymore, if in fact VVS has contributed to her feelings? 2. What can I do to try to hold onto our relationship?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated as I'm lost right now, and need some perspective on where we are at.



Last edited by Male VVS sufferer on Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:03 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Just wanted to my name out of the conversation)

Male VVS sufferer

Posts : 1
Join date : 2012-01-15
Location : canada

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: How do men deal with it?

Post  Sarah001 on Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:55 pm

Hi Mick, I think you sound like a really caring guy who desperately wants his marriage to survive the hell that is VVS. From my point of view I think the condition affects us mentally and emotionally as much as physically. There may be a part of your wife who feels like she isn't a full woman and it isn't fair to hold onto you when you could be with someone else who can have sex, I'm sure alot of the ladies here in relationships feel that way. My partner went and found someone else after 6 months of my V problems and I know others here have had the same kind of treatment from their partners and husbands so your wife may also be thinking that's bound to happen anyway so why not just get it over with. The pain being in such a personal area of the body and such a key area to most relationships affects how we feel about any sort of closeness and we can easily switch off to any aspect of a relationship. I have a complete mental block regarding relationships and don't feel feminine or sexy anymore, a couple of guys have asked me out on dates and I turn them down without any further thought because I just think it's not going to work out so why bother and it would be easy to feel that way about an existing relationship too. I don't know if your wife still loves you, there may be other issues at work here too but I can see how closing off to any kind of closeness could translate to feeling like you don't love the other person anymore. Alot of us girls with V problems build a wall between us and men and stay firmly behind it.

I think counselling might be a good idea, a sex therapist could talk all this through with you both and perhaps find a way to move forwards together or even a marriage counsellor if your wife didn't fancy a sex therapist. As for your wife's problems I don't know what treatments she has tried already but perhaps there are some not yet tried that might help. Communication is vital and you do sound like you are not even putting the sexual difficulties at the top of the list which is fantastic, it's important your wife feels like there are other aspects that are more important than just the physical side of things. I think it's great that you're not even complaining on an anonymous forum about lack of sex, it shows you really do love your wife as a whole person and that's a huge thing when it comes to trying to work things out together. I hope it works out for you.
avatar
Sarah001

Posts : 1163
Join date : 2010-06-11
Age : 44
Location : UK

View user profile

Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum