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» Anyone been to see Dr.Claire Bailey in Birmingham?
Tue Aug 15, 2017 6:36 pm by Kezz

» Recently Diagnosed.... Help!
Tue Aug 15, 2017 2:57 pm by amyhp

» Vestibulectomy
Sun Aug 13, 2017 9:54 am by infinitelywondering

» Discomfort from my own liquids
Sun Aug 13, 2017 4:27 am by Hopeitworks

» Anyone else have burning on the front of thighs?
Sun Aug 13, 2017 2:20 am by Hopeitworks

» Partial Vestibulectomy
Sun Aug 13, 2017 1:38 am by infinitelywondering

» Anyone being treated by Drexel University???
Sat Aug 12, 2017 8:50 pm by Hopeitworks

» Post Vestibulectomy Pain !!!
Sat Aug 12, 2017 8:00 pm by sj17

» Pain management - what works for me
Sat Aug 12, 2017 9:58 am by sj17

Partial Vestibulectomy

Mon Jul 31, 2017 6:44 pm by JGD13

Hi all i am new here.
I had a partial vestibulectomy 21/7 for my provoked vulvodynia.
After a painful few days and feeling quite uncomfortable it seemed to get better. 1 week after i noticed some white stuff and gloopy discharge, it wasnt smelly or itchy but i got a check up at the gp surgery and the doctor said the stitches looked fine and i could just have a touch of thrush. He said this is …

Comments: 4

New w/ Secondary Provoked Vestibuldynia

Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:46 pm by Birdy

Hi everyone,

I'm here because I'm pretty sure I have secondary provoked vestibuldynia, even though my gyno is still "optimistic" it is not.  My problem started six months ago when I got my second UTI in as many months (after going 25 years of life without one) and then ended up with a bad yeast infection (also my first one ever) thanks to the antibiotics.  Ever since the yeast …

Comments: 3

Anyone from the PNW?

Sat Aug 05, 2017 7:54 am by jungleclover

I'm located near Portland and I would be really cool to actually meet someone with this issue. I think my roommate in college technically had this problem. She had an overgrown hymen removed and can't deal with penetration as a result. But she is gay so it seems like it hasn't been a huge problem for her (although we didn't talk about it much so there was possibly more to it than she let on). …

Comments: 0

Constant pain, I want to die.

Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:29 am by Meggiemay

I posted on here a few years ago but my symptoms went away with the inflammation. I didn't get so lucky this time.

For over three months, i've had terrible rawness, burning, soreness in the urethral/vestibule area and pressure/hypersensitivity in the clitoral area. I've also had some lower abdominal pressure and burning on my butt. I can barely walk! My gyno hasn't been much help. I'm on …

Comments: 22

Newbie to the site

Sun Jul 30, 2017 12:16 am by Ksa

Hello. Thank you for this wonderful site. I'm currently under the care of a dr in Phoenix that specializes in vaginal disorders. I will probably be on a suppository of estridol the rest of my life and I am currently on medications for a rare form of vaginitis that's pretty unheard of for my age. My vagina literally hates me. I've struggled with vulvadynia for 20 years, the duration of my …

Comments: 1

New to the site and just had a vestibulectomy

Fri Aug 04, 2017 12:19 am by Hopeitworks

Hello Everyone,

I have been suffering from vulvodynia for years! So I decided to go ahead and have vestibulectomy on July 28, 2017. I really wished I would of found this site before I went through with the surgery. Maybe I would have been more prepared to deal with recovering. I just need someone to talk and I dont mind hearing your story.

Comments: 2

Post Vestibulectomy

Thu Aug 03, 2017 6:15 pm by infinitelywondering

Heya,

I had my vestibulectomy (full) about a day and a half ago. I was very sick and poorly just after the op and experienced intense pain down there Sad

However, today I came home and have done the following things:

-washed with warm water
-applied manuka honey to the area
-ensured I wash at least 3 times a day and dab the area dry gently
-use frozen peas to stop the swelling

As of now I am …

Comments: 0

can anyone recommend a good dermatologist in LA?

Thu Jul 27, 2017 4:17 pm by saffron

Hi, I am wondering if anyone knows a vulvar dermatologist in Los Angeles? My problems seem to be external, but I'm having trouble finding a knowledgable doctor. My current dermatologist is pretty cosmetic based and I'm afraid all the products he prescribed actually made my situation so much worse!

I know there a few drs in Orange County/San Diego, but was hoping to stay local as even …

Comments: 3

Vulvodynia and IVF? Anyone done this? What does it do to the vulvadynia?

Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:03 am by Carolyn4

Hi everyone,

I have had vulvodynia since age 27--I am now 43 and it has been in pretty good remission.  I control it with acupuncture and herbs, and some cranial sacral therapy.  I have a 5 year old, had a pretty uneventful pregnancy which ended in a c-section.  My VV worsened after that, and I have worked hard to get it back under control (it took over a year to get it back into pretty good …

Comments: 0


How do men deal with it?

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How do men deal with it?

Post  Male VVS sufferer on Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:45 am

Hi there,

I've read a few stories on this forum and thought I would share mine. Now this is from a male perspective (my wife has had VVS for at least the last 10 years) and it's got to the point where it's nearly torn us apart. To give you some background, my wife started having pain during sex about 12 years ago. She blames it on a night when we sat in a hot tub or spa for about 4-5 hours and drank ourselves silly. Then we decided to have sex that night. She relates that night directly to when she started having pain. Now I'm not sure if that would cause the VVS to become part of our lives, but it seems like it did. Anyway, she went to different doctors like a lot of women on this forum and got diagnosed with a yeast infection first up, then a while later once the pain didn't subside, she went to a specialist who then diagnosed her with Vaginismus. It wasn't until around 18 months ago that she went to see another specialist who diagnosed her with Vulva Vestibulitis. We now think that has has been diagnosed correctly.

So all through this I have tried to comfort her, be very understanding and help her deal with this. I've even helped her with some exercises she was asked to do, and I've done the q-tip test a number of times. But I have read a lot of entries from members of this forum saying they fell out of love with their partner and didn't desire them or think they could love their husband or BF the way they feel they should. And that is where we are. We have been married for 10 years, and just separated about 9 months ago. I just thought that she needed time to think about our relationship, and figure out what she wanted. But the concerning part for me was that she keeps telling me she doesn't feel the way she should about me, and that's not fair on me (her words). But I love her and want to help her in anyway I can, but it seems I have absolutely no control here, and that her mind is made up. I'm completely devastated about this and we're close to a divorce, which I definitely don't want.

I'm not sure whether I should be blaming this condition on our failed relationship or not? I need some help here because I have no idea what to do, and what she really feels. If her condition was to go away tomorrow, would she feel differently? I guess what I'm asking is for someone to explain: 1. Why has my wife decided she isn't in love with me anymore, if in fact VVS has contributed to her feelings? 2. What can I do to try to hold onto our relationship?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated as I'm lost right now, and need some perspective on where we are at.



Last edited by Male VVS sufferer on Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:03 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Just wanted to my name out of the conversation)

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Re: How do men deal with it?

Post  Sarah001 on Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:55 pm

Hi Mick, I think you sound like a really caring guy who desperately wants his marriage to survive the hell that is VVS. From my point of view I think the condition affects us mentally and emotionally as much as physically. There may be a part of your wife who feels like she isn't a full woman and it isn't fair to hold onto you when you could be with someone else who can have sex, I'm sure alot of the ladies here in relationships feel that way. My partner went and found someone else after 6 months of my V problems and I know others here have had the same kind of treatment from their partners and husbands so your wife may also be thinking that's bound to happen anyway so why not just get it over with. The pain being in such a personal area of the body and such a key area to most relationships affects how we feel about any sort of closeness and we can easily switch off to any aspect of a relationship. I have a complete mental block regarding relationships and don't feel feminine or sexy anymore, a couple of guys have asked me out on dates and I turn them down without any further thought because I just think it's not going to work out so why bother and it would be easy to feel that way about an existing relationship too. I don't know if your wife still loves you, there may be other issues at work here too but I can see how closing off to any kind of closeness could translate to feeling like you don't love the other person anymore. Alot of us girls with V problems build a wall between us and men and stay firmly behind it.

I think counselling might be a good idea, a sex therapist could talk all this through with you both and perhaps find a way to move forwards together or even a marriage counsellor if your wife didn't fancy a sex therapist. As for your wife's problems I don't know what treatments she has tried already but perhaps there are some not yet tried that might help. Communication is vital and you do sound like you are not even putting the sexual difficulties at the top of the list which is fantastic, it's important your wife feels like there are other aspects that are more important than just the physical side of things. I think it's great that you're not even complaining on an anonymous forum about lack of sex, it shows you really do love your wife as a whole person and that's a huge thing when it comes to trying to work things out together. I hope it works out for you.
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