New Member, scared and depressed

Hi Everyone:

So glad to have found this site. This is my story. I had an UTI. After UTI, yeast infection, treated by diflucan, cream and OTC monistat. Did not get better. Many trips to dr. Treated shabbily. Went to Seattle (I live in Alaska) to a specialist who said I had a hyperimmune response to the yeast and had swelling and inflammation. Got some cream to use 2xs a day for 6 weeks to help get it in check. Mid way through, got an absessed tooth and had to go back on antibiotics (still on them). Had antibiotics (pro biotics to balance them), vicodin, advil, tooth numbing injections, etc. Urine was like acid I bet and really irriated the heck out of inflammed vestibule. Sitz baths and keep on the cream. Started using domeboro sitz baths but I think this may be trying out the rest of my skin. (Has anyone tried Aveeno?) I am struggling with this and feels like it just keeps coming. I'm scared, depressed and feel very alone. Go back to specialist next Wednesday. Did anyone else feel so overwhelmed and depressed?
Coldchris

ColdChris, your feelings are very normal. I can speak for myself and for the women i have been friends with online who have Vulvodynia. we have all felt depressed and hopeless at times. It is very difficult to live w/ chronic pain. It's discouraging to have to go from one doctor to the next to try to first find out why you have pain and then for treatment options. The good news is that there are a number of treatment options for the pain. We all have different results from meds., creams, gels, and other treatment options. Your disorder started the exact same way that mine did. I thought i had a UTI, took antibiotics, then months of treatment for a yeast infection i never had. I want to warn you about creams. If your pain continues (bad burning, bright red skin) or increases, i would recommend that you stop using the cream and talk w/ your doctor. Creams have alcohol in them. This can burn the skin. Even gels or ointments can irritate the skin. I believe the creams and gels i used made my condition worse. I hope your cream helps you.

I have tried many treatment options. As you will see many of us see physical therapist. I am going to start acupuncture next week. I'm also on three different meds. along w/ percocet for the pain. a therapist is recommended just to talk w/ someone about the pain and how to manage it. if you are feeling depressed, you are not alone. make sure you tell others around you how you feel. don't go it alone, reach out and ask for help and support, glad your doc gave you some pain meds. they also use some anti=depressants and anti-convulsants to deal w/ this pain disorder. I'm on Gabepentin, lyrica and Cymbalta. i still struggle w/ pain, but it would be unbearable w/out these meds. take care...ttysoon.

Thank you soooooo much. You don't know how much a little light shines so bright in such darkness~! I just have to keep telling myself I will get through this, I will get through this. You are right on about the creams. I should have said ointment. He gave me a steroid ointment to help with the inflammation. I see him again on Wednesday (another trip to Seattle from Alaska). I am starting my period today and think this may have contributed to this darn flare up. I call it my angry, angry vagina. Did you get flare ups around menstruation?

how far is Seattle from your home? i'm glad you're connected to a specialist. it sounds like you're on the right track. to answer your question, yes...i always get a flare up prior to my period. there has to be some connection w/ hormones because this seems to be common in women w/ V. I usually have more pain for about a week before my period and maybe one day into my period or so. i have generalized vulvodynia. pain all over the vagina. others have the vestibulodynia...pain in the opening and inside the vagina. i am able to use tampons w/ no problem. i can also have sex, but generally don't want to because my vulva is frequently "on fire." Are you able to sit w/out pain? i have to sit on a foam donut everywhere i go. my goal is to be able to sit on a chair someday. what a goal, huh? i try without a cushion once in awhile and pay for it. right now my pain is fairly bad. another thing i can't do is work out. after about 5 mins, my vulva burns. the good news is that there was a time that i was able to while on meds. sometimes you find meds that work or a combination of meds that work and then they stop working so you have to add a new med or adjust the dosage. there are good times and not so good. Hey, i'm from Minnesota...another cold state. we have the cold in common. a couple days ago it was 103 degrees here and today it was in the high 50's, now 60. Did you grow up in Alaska? I hear it's beautiful!

Hey coldchris, welcome!

As Jules said we've all had desperate times. It really helps to reach out and also find a therapist who can help you make sense of all this.

Good luck with the specialist. A pain clinc is a great place to find answers also. Be kind to yourself, it's not easy having a chronic pain condition that's also not that socially acceptable. A pain in your leg would be a much better option!

Take care, we are all here to help

Hello Coldchris,

Its great having the information from all the Ladies on this website. I am sure you have read through the posts , great advice and its good to know we are not on our own. Good Luck with the specialist.
Take care
Ria

Hey coldchris,

Its absolutely normal to feel depressed and totally alone in this. This condition, and partly because of its nature, is very isolating. Theres nowhere to go when you get a terrible flare up. Go to the ER and they will look at you as though you are a basket case. To many doctors vulvodynia is just a nuisance. First, they havent got a clue how to treat or manage it and secondly they dont understand the intensity of the pain. This isnt just regular pain its nerve pain. Which, by the way, is difficult to treat...same as diabetic neuropathy.

Its so awful that each day is such a battle for us. We fight against the physical pain and we fight against all the negative emotions and thoughts that come along with having chronic pain.

coldchris, feel free to vent on here anytime.

noni

It can be neuropathic pain but isn't always, it can also be completely muscular or referred pain from another area or purely mechanical from postural problems or even an undiagnosed skin condition, that's why the medication aimed at neuropathic pain often doesn't help and why Amy Stein approached Dr Andrew Goldstein years ago to suggest physio rather than nerve meds and has had good results. It's different for all of us and also why the book When Sex Hurts is a good one to read because it helps to establish the source of the pain rather than just writing it off as unexplained. That's not to say the nerves aren't involved, they are involved in all pain as they transmit pain signals to the brain but if this was always neuropathic pain there wouldn't be the silly non-diagnosis of "vulvodynia" which doesn't mean anything except "pain in the vulva" and medication for neuropathy would work for all women with V so there's be no mystery involved.

Thanks to all. The flare up has greatly decreased and I almost feel human again. I wonder when the next bout is going to come, but try to be in the present, that it is not happening now. Thanks for all the posts. It was a really, really rough time.