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Diagnosed recently, looking for advice

Sun Sep 02, 2018 12:51 am by Cloudberry

Hi everyone,

I'm so glad I found this forum! I was diagnosed with vulvodynia/vulvar vestibulitis (still not sure about the difference between all the different terms) a couple of months ago and I could do with some advice. This is probably going to be a lot of text because I just want to get everything off my chest, so please bear with me.

I’m a woman in my late 20s. Before getting diagnosed …

Comments: 3

Hurting, Burning, Itching, and Worn Out

Thu Aug 09, 2018 10:55 pm by donnambr

This vulvodynia that I'm currently suffering with is so cruel. I hurt, I burn, I itch. When I first got this several years ago, before the internet, I though I was the only one with this awful disorder. Doctors couldn't figure it out. I felt so alone and devastated. Somehow it disappeared for a few years and now I'm suffering again. This dreaded V misery is back and I feel like I will be with …

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Hi girls! New in this forum

Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:31 pm by Gaby

Hi everyone!

Also joining the V club, Here my story:

It all started last year in september with a very bad throat infection for which i had to take antibiotics for about a month. This cause several yeast infections (candidia albicans).... one after the other!. I had them every month from october 2017 till march 2018. During this period i use an incredible amount of anti-fungal creams and …

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Newbie and feeling helpless

Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:52 pm by Taylor1

Hi, I found out a few weeks ago that I have this condition, started off at the end of April as a uti took strong antibiotics then got a thrush infection and now this.. My doctor has tried me on amitriptyline and gabipentin and both made me so poorly I couldn't take it plus I have seen what long use of these drugs has done to my mom for pain and its not good. I am using coconut oil which does …

Comments: 3

I'm new to this forum and would love some advice! :)

Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:13 am by anikita

Hi lovely gals!

I'm honestly hoping to get any bit of advice anyone might have to offer. I go from bouts of sobbing hysterically in my boyfriend's arms to feeling confident that I can beat this.

I haven't been actually diagnosed with vulvodynia but EVERYTHING under the sun has come back negative. I started having sex 4 years ago after starting Lo Loestrin, with my first and current boyfriend …

Comments: 6

From a concerned husband

Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:45 pm by ConcernedYorkieHubby

Hello everyone,

This is probably a little unconventional, but I’m a man who is here because his wife has been diagnosed with vulvodynia. The poor girl has been suffering with vulva pain for around 10 years now, and I’ve been by her side through the pain and tears and doctors misunderstandings the whole way, and we’re both exhausted and terrified by the whole experience.

I’m sure a lot …

Comments: 3

I'M NEW - Do I listen to my gyno who I feel has it wrong?

Fri Mar 09, 2018 6:17 pm by Tunes25


I am a 25 year old woman and wanted to share my story here as I feel frustrated by the suggestions of my gyno and am hoping for some advice.

To give the context for this: in September 2016 I moved in with my long term boyfriend after living abroad a year and (nearly) abstaining from sex. Within a few weeks I had got a yeast infection which I treated myself successfully, but then 2 weeks …

Comments: 10

Gabapentin Gel. or other topical creams

Thu May 10, 2018 9:43 am by Rosie21

Hi I have been suffering for some years with this abominable pain. I have tried most of the systemic drugs , I asked specialists and Doctors if I could at least try a topical treatment but because this requires a special prescription have been refused Has anybody had a chance of trying these? Thank you I will try to put a link on to some of the research into Gabapentin Gel. Thanks.

Comments: 1

What has been helping ME (much less pain over time!!)

Wed May 16, 2018 3:43 am by leoscc

Hello everyone! I vanished for quite some time as my life became consumed by not only this but other daily responsibilities as well. Shortly after my diagnosis, my boyfriend f 3 years left me as he did not want to deal with this. It left me broken for a while but also gave me time to figure out what the heck was going on. So, I will write out a quick list of my symptoms and what helped me.

1. I …

Comments: 0

Husband Doesn't Understand

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Husband Doesn't Understand

Post  Stayathomemom7899 on Sat Dec 06, 2014 12:24 am

For a year now my husband has been in denial that I have vulvodynia despite extensive doctors appointments and intercourse ending in tears. He is so ignorant and won't even research it and still thinks its an STD and says I just need to go to the doctor and be done with it and I have been on meds for months with no relief. He tries to have sex about once a day and it is so hard on me because it is so much pressure and when I say no I get treated like crap. He expects me to have sex on top of satisfying him other ways if I'm in too much pain. I fear he is so ignorant that he will end up leaving me and there is nothing I can do, I just want my kids to have a stable home. Sorry for my rant. It's hard enough I have this intense pain without the added pressure and fear of being alone.


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Post  lavrose on Sat Dec 06, 2014 2:42 am

Ill be honest with you, it prolly wont get any better. It will just get worse and more abusive, and you feel more and more seperated from eachother. Ive personally given up on men and sex with this condition.

Even when it looked like I was getting better, it changed and set the tone of our sex life, and some kind of weird psychological block or wall arose between us that we could never get over.

Men are cheating pervs anyway that are never satisfied, even when your normal.


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Post  sadone on Sun Dec 07, 2014 1:24 pm

hi stayathomemom,

your husband is being awful. extremely stupid and terrible. I have never been involved with a man like that. Something is seriously wrong with him. I know you feel terrible.
Beyond terrible.

My bf was understanding for a long time.- 4 years. Now he has it in his mind that he either has to have vaginal or anal. And it's for this reason he's leaving me.

I don't know what to say. I know there are understanding men out there- women on this site who have met them and gotten married.

Your husband and guys like that make me so angry. they act like we committed a crime.

lavrose- have you really given up on men?

I just don't know if I can. I am so lonely without him. I have a few friends. I have no children. I can't have children.

I am very depressed. I thought he was the one- he was so sweet and understanding for so long.

I would kill myself if I had the courage.

I know this is not helpful. I just want to say that I feel your pain. And I wish there was some kind of punishment for men like your husband.

It is so unfair and wrong. When they feel entitled to our bodies like we are things with holes for their gratification.

I hope more people respond. This board seems quiet and some of us are very desparate.


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Re: Husband Doesn't Understand

Post  Sparkle on Mon Dec 08, 2014 8:38 pm

He's a pig, plain and simple. I'm sorry of that sounds harsh, I know he's your husband and U love him but the way he is treating u isn't the way u treat somone U love. He puts pressure on u to have sex wen u in pain and shouts at u if u won't cos u in pain... He should be supporting u and a relationship is about more then sex. I know it's a part of a relationship but it's not everything. One time wen my pain was bad I was unable to have sex with my bf for 2 months and not once did that man moan or make me feel bad becos of it. He made it so easy on me and your husband should be acting the same way.

In so sorry to hear u are going through this on a daily basis as well as having to deal with V. It must be so draining on u to have the pressure of your husband aswell. Have u taken him to our doctors appointments? Maybe that might help him understand?
If he came in Ther with u?
My thoughts are maybe he isn't believing in V bcos of he does then his sexual behaviour Wud need to change. And he would need to be suportive and less of a sex pest.

Thers are so many men out Ther that woulnt act this way with u... Maybe u need to sit down and talk with him proparly wen he is in a good mood. Have a chat and explain how he makes u feel and how v makes u feel. I think if he understood a bit more u wud be more inclined to want to please him in other ways. Maybe u should tell him that too..Don't be scared he will Leave u, if he does then he isn't worth your time my love x


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Re: Husband Doesn't Understand

Post  Mariek on Mon Mar 09, 2015 11:41 pm

Sorry to hear your husband is such a controlling ass! It's hard enough dealing with this without having him to deal with too. I hope you can work it out. Couples counseling has helped us in the past and with this new condition we might go back. So far (it's only been 5 days) since confirmed he's been supportive. We have been married 34 years and I am almost 59, he is 60. Feel really bad for all others out there. Please try to stay positive. We are worthy of love and compassion.


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Re: Husband Doesn't Understand

Post  mrs.optimistic on Thu May 14, 2015 5:43 pm

I read your post and HAD to respond. It frightens me knowing that women are left because of this condition. Their husbands can't handle it, so they give up. Let me say this- me and my husband have two kids together and we've been together now for 5 years. I've had vulvodynia (undiagnosed until now) for 4 years. He is extremely supportive of my condition. He is so gentle and caring,, he truly loves me unconditionally. When I feel like i want to give up, he comforts me and helps me stay positive. I don't know if I will ever overcome vulvar vestibulitis, but I know my husband will stand by me for as long as he can. I won't give up, neither should you. Love yourself and be loved. Do not let this man treat you the way he is, its emotional abuse. I can't believe you're still married. Leave this guy and find someone who loves you for you. Sex is important, but you can still have a spiritual connection with someone without great sex all the time. There is great men out there, don't waste your life away with this guy!


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you're not alone

Post  ilseke on Mon Aug 03, 2015 4:22 pm

V is a concept men don't seem to get...i'm so sorry for you. Know it all too well...


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Re: Husband Doesn't Understand

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