new member

I just posted in one of the forums. I'm a new member, so I hope that's okay. I'd appreciate any responses. I'm really feeling pretty low.

Hi hun,

I read your post in the other thread & thought I’d reply here. I wanted to reply cos I really sympathise with you, honestly your post could have been from me 5 years ago. Big hugs to you.

There are no easy answers cos I know how crappy a situation this is. I know this is not at all what you want to hear but it does seem that you feeling low, desperate and like an object is a direct result of your boyfriend’s attitude towards you and your v problems. My ex said exactly with the same things & at the time I thought well I suppose that makes sense, that seems fair. But when you’re removed from the situation you realise that it’s really not. The sacrifice you are making is living your life with this horrible & unwanted problem. Nevermind adding to that your boyfriend pretty much forcing you into sexual activities that you don’t want to do. You don’t have to justify to anyone why you don’t want to do this or that activity. What he is doing is an out and out guilt trip.

Just think; what if he spontaneously developed erectile dysfunction or sexual pain? Would he put up with the same attitude & ultimatum from you that he is expecting you to accept from him now?

We are all worthwhile & loveable in our own right, v or no v. And painful as it might be in the short term to end things with him, could you put up with feeling this way for the rest of your life if you stayed with him?

I don’t say any of this lightly; I was with my ex for seven years and we were engaged too and owned a house together. But hand on heart, leaving was the best thing I ever did. I needed to be single for a while & get my head together & get my confidence back. And I did find someone who’s more understanding & doesn’t make me feel like crap over the v.

Keep your head held high, we’re all here for you.

Liz x

hi there!

i cant find your post! its not highlighting new posts for some stupid reason.

im so sorry no one replied. I'll be honest I havent been on here much of late, i have been stressed out with the government cutting my benefits and having to appeal etc.

Do you want to join the facebook group (secret one so not open to public, none of ur friends would know)?

if so, message me on here and i will send you a link to my facebook and add me. Then i can add you to the group. they are all lush ladies on there and we do have a giggle. and a good winge too!

tend to touch base in the facebook group most days...as i admit...i love keeping in contact with my friends on there!

anyways, PM me if you want.

just realised! did reply to ur post!! im loosing the plot! unless youve written another one?!

loooooooong day! (thats my excuse

xxx

I really appreciate your response. It really echoes my feelings about all of this. At this point in the game, he has apologized profusely and has asked me to forgive him. He also really wants to work on things and go to a sex/couples therapist together. My therapist has asked me to refrain from anymore discussion of this until we see the therapist. Thanks for your good thoughts. I am praying that some kind of agreeable solution is reached.

Thanks again, Liz...

No problem, honey! I'm glad to hear your b/f has apologised and wants to work on things. Best of luck to you. Just remember that despite the v, you still deserve to be happy x